The economy is on the upswing, but there remains some disconcerting signs:
Tim Tebow is still unemployed.
No worries. His whacko fan-base is on the case, appealing to President Obama to resolve this crisis immediately.
Yes, they have filed a petition on the White House's 'We the People' website, asking President Obama to call Jacksonville Jaguars general manager David Caldwell, demanding that he sign Tebow.
I am not making this up.
Here’s the official petition: “Jacksonville Jaguars fans want the team to sign recently released QB Tim Tebow. However, rookie general manager for the Jacksonville Jaguars David Caldwell is blocking this from happening. If the Jaguars sign & START Tebow, home games will be sold out, sales will spike, the team will win and the fans will be happy. Mr. Caldwell is ignoring lots of facts about the misunderstood Tim Tebow while in Denver: Passer rating of 125.6 is highest ever in Broncos postseason history. Most yards per completion (31.6) in NFL playoff history.100.5 QB rating is best ever for a Broncos QB in his first start. Third most passing yards in a game by a Bronco rookie QB. (308, in his 2nd start), First 15+ point comeback in the final 3 minutes of an NFL game since the merger,7 game winning drives in just 16 games!”
Yes, get on this right away Mr. President! Ignore all that other nonsense like petitions for reducing gun violence, Wall Street reform and addressing the ills of the U.S. Postal Service.
The world as we know it will end if the Jaguars don’t sign Tebow!
Granted, the Jaguars are as irrelevant as you can get in the NFL. But the fact that they WON’T sign Tebow reflects the scouting report on the former UF Heisman Trophy winner. They know something all the other 31 teams know:
Tebow can’t play quarterback in the NFL.
And that’s the reason he’s not playing. Not because there’s a conspiracy among the NFL, Lamestream Media and all atheists in the world.
PS: The petition conveniently ignores the fact that Tebow’s NFL career completion percentage is 47.9, which is about as low as you can go in the league.