"There comes a time in every man's life when you gotta take a good, cold hard look at what you want to do, and I want to give this acting thing up. I'm Pope material."
– Bruce Willis, pondering a career change after news of Pope Benedict XVI's resignation from the Roman Catholic Church, on the Late Show with David Letterman
"You look at me like you don't understand?"
– Sofia Vergara, while recounting her engagement story to Ellen DeGeneres on her daytime talk show
"This is how I always look at you."
– Ellen DeGeneres, in response
"Can I have a translator?"
– The Modern Family star, throwing in the towel
"She's my road dog … She's my homey, my best friend."
– Beyoncé, gushing about 13-month-old daughter Blue Ivy, to Vogue
"There was a scream I heard, which is the scream that's normally reserved if there was a spider in the house."
– Alec Baldwin, on how he found out wife Hilaria was expecting their first child, to Extra
"He was literally like a vampire on me for three months."
– Molly Sims, on what it was like breast-feeding 7-month-old son Brooks, who was born with a tooth, on Anderson Live
"This is our project. Leave us alone."
– Kylie Jenner, who along with sister Kendall, chose not to consult their fashionable siblings – Kourtney, Kim and Khloé Kardashian – for advice on their PacSun clothing line, to PEOPLE
"I got booed, my dress ripped and I had the flu … It turned out great because I got to hug George Clooney."
– Anne Hathaway, on the upside of her emotionally draining BAFTA weekend, on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno
"My fiancé who is sexy tonight, y'all."
– Kelly Clarkson, giving a shout-out to beau Brandon Blackstock while accepting the Grammy for best pop vocal album, during last Sunday's awards show
"After the show ends every night, I don't want to do anything but sit at home and watch reruns of The Golden Girls."
– Scarlett Johansson, on how she unwinds after performing in the Broadway production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, to Broadway.com
"I'm always going to be a little weird."
– John Mayer, when asked if he wished to get rid of his public persona, to CBS Sunday Morning
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
Sofia Vergara has an accent?
Alec the Dad: Round Two
Molly's Twilight Tits
Kylie and Kendall don't listen to KKK
Anne hugged a BAMF at the BAFTAs
Kelly Clarkson is turning into one of 'those people'
Scarlett and her excellent tv taste
THAT'S ENOUGH, JOHN MAYER
HAPPY THREE-DAY WEEKEND, ONTD! :-) I apologize if the format is off in this post... LJ is forcing me to use the new Editor and it's not perfect