Adele Makes 65,000 Cheeseburgers a Day

In a startling turn that has left the media shocked and fumbling for something solid to cling to in this chaotic, increasingly unpredictable world, new reports have surfaced alleging that Adele's rich. Like super rich.
The Sun reports that the singer makes £41,000 a day (at current exchange rates, that’s about $65,000 or 65,000 McDonalds cheeseburgers); company accounts show that she has £10.3 million on hand and £4.6 million due in royalties and “other payments,” which totals £14.9 million. (That’s $16.3 million in the bank, $7.3 million coming her way, and $22.6 million altogether, so no big.) If there’s a lesson here, it’s that all you need is phenomenal vocal talent, unparalleled songcraft and the raw emotion of brutal heartbreak to make millions of dollars. Any takers?