Jay Cutler text message proposed then mailed the ring to Kristin Cavallari.
E! Online (h/t Deadspin) reports the NFL's Grumpy Gus may also be their resident Don Juan. Well, whatever the opposite of that might be.
Cavallari recently divulged the couple has picked out a date, because America waits with bated breath over such things.
Of course, she didn't reveal the date, only stating it will be sometime this year, which is the point of the report that makes you want to greet your forehead quickly to the top of your computer desk.
Sticking to the end of the report, Cavallari did give a great worthwhile gift to NFL fans in the form of the engagement story.
"Yeah, kind of," said Cavallari. "It was so silly. I was in the airport, leaving Chicago. We had just spent however many days together and we were texting and somehow it came up, like, 'Oh, shall we get married?' We're like, 'Yeah, OK.' And then he sent my ring in the mail. So I actually had my ring sitting at home for a couple of weeks before I put it on."
I am sure every little girl dreams of meeting the man of her dreams, only to be given an engagement ring in the same way you get circulars from the local grocery store.
Let's cut Jay a little slack because this was the second engagement the two are sharing. As the report reminds us, the two were planning to marry in April of 2011, only to split three months later.
Around November, they reconciled and were back working toward matrimony. Since that time, they welcomed their first child into the world, a boy named Camden.
So we understand Jay didn't want to go through the hassle of getting down on one knee again, because we know the guy hates hassles.
There is a romantic part of me that holds out hope Cutler sent the ring by mail on his own, not needing the help of an assistant.
That's just the foolish side of me that still believes in fairy tales. For you young people out there, true love can be delivered in a handy package alongside your latest Crate and Barrel catalog.