7:14 pm - 01/28/2013
100% Conclusive Evidence that Ben Affleck is the Greatest Dad Ever/Matt Damon Can Suck It
My dearest ONTD,
There are a great and many things in this world that can be debated - foreign policy, global warming, Bradley Cooper's sexuality, why little people make better reality TV stars, where the hell Barb from Teen Mom got her accent, and of course, the exact moment when Dakota Fanning will take her rightful place as our new alien overlord. But there is one thing, one unequival FACT, that we can all take solace in, one thing that in this crazy world in which we live that simply cannot be denied and that is that Ben Affleck is the best fucking dad ever. Okay, so maybe he boned Blake Lively and most of the the strippers in greater Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Boston areas but who hasn't? Them bitches be banging and they know how to properly wax a pole with they Pikachu. And yeah, you might be saying, "luvthatdrtywata, I'm just more of a Matt Damon fan, and he even adopted his wife's first child, now THAT's a great dad." To which I say, "fuck you mom, stay the hell out of this!" Moral of the story, Ben Affleck is the greatest dad in all of history and I now have photographic evidence to prove it! Because mere hours before taking home the SAG Awards for Best Film or Best Cast or whatever the fuck SAG does, he brought little Violet and Seraphina to the farmer's market and what ensued was sheer cuteness overload and concrete proof of his perfect parenting.
He teaches his children to stop and smell the roses.
He knows that an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
He buys his wife dozens of roses and a single, long-stem rose for each of his girls.
He buys them ethnically diverse dolls and teaches them to care for all of God's creatures, black or white, human and polyeuthathane, with unconditional love and care.
He shows them the power of a smile, no matter how stupid it makes him look.
He teaches them to support small business.
He's just the best dad ever, alright? End of story. Disagree?
FAHK YEW BUDDY!
PHOTOS
There are a great and many things in this world that can be debated - foreign policy, global warming, Bradley Cooper's sexuality, why little people make better reality TV stars, where the hell Barb from Teen Mom got her accent, and of course, the exact moment when Dakota Fanning will take her rightful place as our new alien overlord. But there is one thing, one unequival FACT, that we can all take solace in, one thing that in this crazy world in which we live that simply cannot be denied and that is that Ben Affleck is the best fucking dad ever. Okay, so maybe he boned Blake Lively and most of the the strippers in greater Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Boston areas but who hasn't? Them bitches be banging and they know how to properly wax a pole with they Pikachu. And yeah, you might be saying, "luvthatdrtywata, I'm just more of a Matt Damon fan, and he even adopted his wife's first child, now THAT's a great dad." To which I say, "fuck you mom, stay the hell out of this!" Moral of the story, Ben Affleck is the greatest dad in all of history and I now have photographic evidence to prove it! Because mere hours before taking home the SAG Awards for Best Film or Best Cast or whatever the fuck SAG does, he brought little Violet and Seraphina to the farmer's market and what ensued was sheer cuteness overload and concrete proof of his perfect parenting.
He teaches his children to stop and smell the roses.
He knows that an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
He buys his wife dozens of roses and a single, long-stem rose for each of his girls.
He buys them ethnically diverse dolls and teaches them to care for all of God's creatures, black or white, human and polyeuthathane, with unconditional love and care.
He shows them the power of a smile, no matter how stupid it makes him look.
He teaches them to support small business.
He's just the best dad ever, alright? End of story. Disagree?
FAHK YEW BUDDY!
PHOTOS
Edited at 2013-01-29 12:25 am (UTC)
At least nothing a little longer hair wouldn't cover.
I'm out
he's such a catch
Edited at 2013-01-29 12:34 am (UTC)
Wow.
Just wow.
saint paltrow plz don't punish me
Edited at 2013-01-29 12:53 am (UTC)
It must be the Town tbh,
I can't believe Violet is 7 already. Feels like just yesterday she was a tiny, constantly smiling baby.