"Technically I'm still married, so that joke doesn't really work … Give it up, people."
– Kim Kardashian, trying to put the kibosh on the endless 72-day marriage jokes, on the Sway in the Morning radio show
"We gel well in a weird crazy way."
– Nicki Minaj, on her relationship with fellow American Idol judge Mariah Carey, during the show's season premiere
"It's narcissistic, but whatever – everyone does it. I'm capturing personality …"
– Rihanna, who has posted more than 230 self-portraits on Instagram, to Complex magazine
"I'm doing it very backwards, I know! I'll just keep my legs crossed this time."
– Jessica Simpson, whose wedding to fiancé Eric Johnson has been pushed back again because of her surprise second pregnancy, on The Tonight Show
"I felt shy singing in Moulin Rouge! But peeing – no, not shy."
– Nicole Kidman, on her urination scene with costar Zac Efron in The Paperboy, to The Hollywood Reporter
"Now, apparently, I'm told that every celebrity is expected to honor the details of their private life with a press conference, a fragrance, and a prime time reality show. And you guys might be surprised, but I am not Honey Boo Boo Child."
– Jodie Foster, while being honored with the Cecil B. DeMille Award, at the 2013 Golden Globes
"Will there be a point where you lighten up?"
– Oprah Winfrey, on cyclist Lance Armstrong's mid-interview question during his personal confession to using performance-enhancing drugs, on CBS This Morning
"If you thought your day was weird, I just collected a urine sample from a dog. Happy Tuesday! #rubbergloves"
– Jessica Biel, on how she spent her day with pit bull pooch Tina, on Twitter
"We've done two movies together, if it didn't happen by now it's not going to happen."
– Bradley Cooper, denying romance rumors with Silver Linings Playbook costar Jennifer Lawrence, to Entertainment Tonight
"It is not my butt, and I will not take responsibility for it. It's a 90-year-old butt that's been Photoshopped onto my body and is posing as my butt."
– Jennifer Lawrence, disowning a paparazzi photo of her in a bikini, on The Late Show with David Letterman
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
Babies when you're married Kardashian
I'm gellin', you gellin', Nicki?
Babies when you're not married Simpson
Nicole Kidman drip drip drip piss on it
Jodey FooFoo Child
OPRAH READS ONTD!
Jennifer Lawrence and that Ass
Jennifer Lawrence and that ass
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD! :-)