ONTD

8:40 pm - 12/12/2012

Jada Pinkett-Smith Addresses The Problems Facing Today’s Women And Men In Relationships



So Jada really went there…and I’m not mad at it.

Jada Pinkett Smith has obvious concerns about the state of relationships between men and women nowadays and has posted a long blog to her Facebook page to address them.  In her latest post, Jada talks about how the true inner beauty of a woman over time has taken a backseat to superficiality of “weaves and red bottom shoes,” while men use money as a status symbol and as a way of buying love. Jada also believes that women today have no voice and have been reduced to being just pleasure toys. She states that our culture promotes women looking good without saying anything meaningful, and men have become so frustrated with insecurity that it often leads to domestic violence in the home.  Jada also says if one person in the relationship is lost, then the entire union is doomed because the couple are supposed to balance each other out..



The war on men through the degradation of woman.

How is man to recognize his full self, his full power through the eye’s of an incomplete woman? The woman who has been stripped of Goddess recognition and diminished to a big ass and full breast for physical comfort only. The woman who has been silenced so she may forget her spiritual essence because her words stir too much thought outside of the pleasure space. The woman who has been diminished to covering all that rots inside of her with weaves and red bottom shoes.

I am sure the men, who restructured our societies from cultures that honored woman, had no idea of the outcome. They had no idea that eventually, even men would render themselves empty and longing for meaning, depth and connection. There is a deep sadness when I witness a man that can’t recognize the emptiness he feels when he objectifies himself as a bank and truly believes he can buy love with things and status. It is painful to witness the betrayal when a woman takes him up on that offer. He doesn’t recognize that the create of a half woman has contributed to his repressed anger and frustration of feeling he is not enough. He then may love no woman or keep many half women as his prize. He doesn’t recognize that it’s his submersion in the imbalanced warrior culture, where violence is the means of getting respect and power, as the reason he can break the face of the woman who bore him four children.

When woman is lost, so is man. The truth is, woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul.

Power and control will NEVER out weigh love.

May we all find our way.
J

http://necolebitchie.com/2012/12/10/jada-pinkett-smith-addresses-the-problems-facing-todays-women-and-men-in-relationships/

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drkshdw 13th-Dec-2012 01:53 am (UTC)
read this the other day. amazing goddess. although i'm scared her words will get twisted.
brucelynn 13th-Dec-2012 01:55 am (UTC)
You know they will especially on ONTD because this community hates the Smith family for the dumbest reasons.

Don't even give me shit about Jaden because errbody was on the bullshit before that incident.
aprilfunk 13th-Dec-2012 01:57 am (UTC)
welcome to ONTD? a lot of people are hated on for irrational reasons.

Edited at 2012-12-13 01:57 am (UTC)
drkshdw 13th-Dec-2012 01:58 am (UTC)
yep, this.
bee_xx3 13th-Dec-2012 02:00 am (UTC)
ONTD hates the Smiths? Since when...lol it doesn't seem like they care for them much either way.
ectypes 13th-Dec-2012 02:08 am (UTC)
only bc we're creeped out be scientology


i have such a hard time equating jada with that cult though...from her writing she seems like such a fantastic human being and not at all off her rocker
quinnthevixen 13th-Dec-2012 03:51 am (UTC)
Well I have an irrational love for Will Smith so I will be on the unhating side.
hot143chocolate 13th-Dec-2012 01:54 am (UTC)
the reason he can break the face of the woman who bore him four children.

this seems oddly specific. does anyone know to whom she is referring?
foryoursake08 13th-Dec-2012 01:56 am (UTC)
maybe one of her friends? idk. I can't think of anyone specific off the top of my head. maybe someone non-famous.
fakevoices 13th-Dec-2012 01:57 am (UTC)
don't know but it could be anyone.
a lot of people in hollywood are in abusive relationships.
itwontchange 13th-Dec-2012 03:58 pm (UTC)
victoria beckham.

jk, she was the only one who i could think that has four children
traversant 13th-Dec-2012 01:56 am (UTC)
THIS
baboona 13th-Dec-2012 01:58 am (UTC)
yeah i agree with some points but lol @ this woman is the window bs
cutesiness 13th-Dec-2012 01:58 am (UTC)
because we are all ~connected~
moustacherider 13th-Dec-2012 01:58 am (UTC)
ikr

men can piss off tbh
kalie_m 13th-Dec-2012 01:58 am (UTC)
mte, tbh.
alouds 13th-Dec-2012 01:59 am (UTC)
yup
ritzyroxie 13th-Dec-2012 02:00 am (UTC)
mte
aprilfunk 13th-Dec-2012 02:00 am (UTC)
ia.
tundrabeast 13th-Dec-2012 02:00 am (UTC)
mmhm
whiskybars 13th-Dec-2012 02:02 am (UTC)
yep
totegay 13th-Dec-2012 02:05 am (UTC)
mfte. i really don't give a shit whether a man can "recognize his full self" or not. my rights and i are not here to help you do that?
foureyedgirl 13th-Dec-2012 02:06 am (UTC)
mte
ectypes 13th-Dec-2012 02:09 am (UTC)
yeppity yep yep. the very beginning and very end were weirding me out. idgaf about how i affect men.
threeatatimejay 13th-Dec-2012 02:14 am (UTC)
This.
celtic_thistle 13th-Dec-2012 02:18 am (UTC)
Yeah I get sick of that shit tbh.
m_h_p 13th-Dec-2012 02:24 am (UTC)
I agree, but unfortunately people have always tried to degrade the idea of women's rights by saying that it's anti-man.

So many women are all "oh no, I'm not a feminist, I love men!" and so many men think that women who stand up for their rights are just whiny bitches out to get them.

What she's saying is a bit reductive, but her essential point - that degrading and disempowering one half of the population makes things worse for the other half too - is very true. Women's rights are human rights, and anyone who doesn't grasp that might not take women's rights seriously.
ladyvoldything 13th-Dec-2012 02:32 am (UTC)
this

it's unfortunate that connecting women's rights to ~what about the men~ is necessary, but in order to reach a lot of people and really make them think, it is. 8|
sarshine 13th-Dec-2012 03:19 am (UTC)
Well said.
quinnthevixen 13th-Dec-2012 03:56 am (UTC)
Exactly. The same could be said for all systems of opression, tbqh
queenoftea 13th-Dec-2012 05:22 am (UTC)
Yeah. If relating it to men's rights is how the issue actually gets media time, then I'm going to be okay with it.
ncc_gqmf 13th-Dec-2012 06:02 am (UTC)
Agreed.
ramonaflowers 13th-Dec-2012 02:25 am (UTC)
i think she was trying to connect with women who do place a very high value on the relationships they have with the men in their lives

it's not an ideal feminist message, but it's a positive one that might resonate with certain people idk
rhapsodeeinblue 13th-Dec-2012 02:35 am (UTC)
mte
malarkiness 13th-Dec-2012 02:37 am (UTC)
Yeah, mte. :/
silly_edward 13th-Dec-2012 02:42 am (UTC)
While I agree, it shouldn't be made to seem that women's rights are all about men but you know, they play a part in women's right - this is something that society needs to collectively work on, not just one group of people.
misscrystal 13th-Dec-2012 02:48 am (UTC)
No, I think she's saying that degrading women for male benefit is ultimately a lose-lose game that degrades everyone.

i'm tired of people trying to promote women's rights by still making men feel like it's still all about them.

I get what you're saying, but the truth is that a lot of guys are perfectly fine with the status quo--with their unearned privilege, with the exploitation and objectification of women, with women being undereducated and underpaid, etc.
If we are going to achieve gender equality, both genders need to get on board.
nene718 13th-Dec-2012 03:01 am (UTC)
i think she's acknowledging the fact that men can be negatively impacted because of patriarchy too, something that isn't mentioned much. yes women are by far the biggest victims of it, but it's something that hurts everyone.
empirebird 13th-Dec-2012 03:18 am (UTC)
yup
therealycats 13th-Dec-2012 03:38 am (UTC)
Agreed. I like Jada, and I get what she's trying to say, but...yeah. I don't know. I feel like, you know, what should be a discussion about an oppressed group often gets turned into a discussion about the oppressors.

idk if you're familiar with the whole Hawkeye Initiative that blew up on Tumblr last week (basically, drawing the character Hawkeye in the ridiculous, physically impossible poses that female comic characters get drawn in to showcase the ridiculousness to people who might not otherwise see it), and while I think it's good and I've enjoyed looking at all the submissions, I read another post about how that too is taking the focus off the female characters and putting it on a male character, and also how--depending on HOW some people are drawing Hawkeye and WHY they're amused by the images--it could also point to a deeper problem of (internalized) misogyny (viewing femininity in and of itself as ridiculous in some cases) and homophobia/heterosexism. In less than a week the Hawkeye Initiative had 10k followers on Tumblr but another blog (which I hadn't heard of), Escher Girls, had been looking at this problem for a year WITHOUT turning the focus back to men.

Like...I don't know. What is the way to get the point through about women's issues without bringing it back to how men suffer from the patriarchy? Not that they don't, but THAT shouldn't be the focus of the discussion, you know? It's like comparing sexism to racism--it's easy to do, but a) they aren't mutually exclusive and b) they involve different things and different people, so if you're trying to explain A to someone, why A is a bad thing, we need to find a way to do that without likening it to B, you know?
beatlesluv 13th-Dec-2012 05:48 am (UTC)
No disrespect to her but I completely agree w/ you
pallasdiamond 15th-Dec-2012 11:05 am (UTC)
THISTHISTHISTHISTHIS
oh7 17th-Dec-2012 12:34 am (UTC)
I saw it as women and men being equal and needing each other along with loving and respecting themselves to be the best as a society.
silky_pico 13th-Dec-2012 01:59 am (UTC)
woman is the window to a man’s heart

No.
lumosofmylife 13th-Dec-2012 02:00 am (UTC)
The Whole Sea Live In Yo Pussy
brucelynn 13th-Dec-2012 02:00 am (UTC)
LOL
abordantoinette 13th-Dec-2012 02:12 am (UTC)
forever dead
permanentrain 13th-Dec-2012 02:00 am (UTC)
"The war on men" sigh
punishermax 13th-Dec-2012 02:02 am (UTC)
Let me post perhaps the most insane comment I've ever found from Men's Rights

"I avoid interacting with the few female coworkers I have more than what is absolutely required. You never know when you'll be accused of sexual harassment or even rape. It happens everywhere and I think if you don't take your precautions it's only a matter of a short amount of time before it happens to you. Whenever I get involved in a hiring situation I will most likely pick a man over a woman. While a woman may very well be the best candidate that doesn't count for much when she's disruptive as everyone has to tip-toe around her.

I used to take the elevator at work, but now I always take the stairs. That's just a precaution I take against women who could potentially use the situation to make false accusations(you know like ripping her shirt open and running out of the elevator crying in front of a lot of witnesses and then start accusing me of attempting rape). That's just one of the many things I've ended up doing in order to stay safe. All these safety measures add up and I've never been falsely accused of anything because they've just never had the opportunity to make an accusation that could stick. I'm sure a feminist will come along one day who will just completely pull something out of her ass despite of me having an alibi or witnesses, but that will be easily dismissed I'd hope.

Since a woman's word trumps a man's word whenever he doesn't have an alibi a man just has to be very cautious. Don't let a woman be around you on her own; better safe than sorry."
ronnie_luvs_u 13th-Dec-2012 02:04 am (UTC)
lmao the delusion.
burn_a_miracle 13th-Dec-2012 02:04 am (UTC)
What the fuck.
cutesiness 13th-Dec-2012 02:05 am (UTC)
Whenever I get involved in a hiring situation I will most likely pick a man over a woman.

does he also tell people that sexism is over? rme
theratwhispers 13th-Dec-2012 02:05 am (UTC)
Is this from Reddit by chance?
noon 13th-Dec-2012 02:05 am (UTC)
omg i wish i had a visual of this mouth breather to accompany this asinine commentary
rhapsodeeinblue 13th-Dec-2012 02:36 am (UTC)
Yeah, I saw this article going around on my Facebook feed for a while and I never clicked on it because of that phrase--makes me RME.
fred2265 14th-Dec-2012 05:45 pm (UTC)
Indeed..
the_pinkdress 13th-Dec-2012 02:00 am (UTC)
tbh i hate the whole ~women are goddesses~ stuff.

being put on a mystical pedestal is degrading, objectifying, and dehumanizing too, imo.
muzicnem Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:03 am (UTC)
I agree. We're human like men. Both sexes are imperfect and have their issues but still deserve to be treated w/ respect and compassion.
lovepollution 13th-Dec-2012 02:06 am (UTC)
IA, I want to be treated equally, not like because I have a vagina I'm a ~goddess.
lauridsen09 Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:04 am (UTC)
IA.
the_wolski Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:05 am (UTC)
ia

gods are perf and no one is perf, too much pressure to strive to be
burn_a_miracle Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:05 am (UTC)
This
totegay Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:06 am (UTC)
yep.
ronnie_luvs_u Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:08 am (UTC)
exactly. what happens if you don't measure up to the ~goddess standard? you're just a common whore who doesn't deserve respect. it's such a bullshit view.
bee_xx3 Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:09 am (UTC)
ia
aquaricom Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:10 am (UTC)
whats funny is that most of the guys who would put a woman on the pedestal would also turn out to be the ones whining about being friendzoned or better than that "asshole" the woman is dating
angelmonster Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:11 am (UTC)
Anytime I hear "Women are goddesses" I think of that pisode of Friends, lol.
ectypes Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:13 am (UTC)
THIS it's horseshit
sparkysparky Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:14 am (UTC)
being a goddess is a lot of fucking pressure tbh. no thanks.
celtic_thistle Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:20 am (UTC)
I think if we call ourselves goddesses, fierce bitches, etc, that's different. Being deified and shoved into the Madonna/Whore dichotomy is bullshit though.

Edited at 2012-12-13 02:20 am (UTC)
powrhug 13th-Dec-2012 02:29 am (UTC)
Totally agree. I don't want to be someone's "goddess" I want to be their partner.
anolinde Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:34 am (UTC)
Yup, it just sounds stupid as fuck.
threeatatimejay Re: 13th-Dec-2012 02:56 am (UTC)
Yep, and it often is a way to make us responsible for the "moral failings" of men or held to a higher moral standard than men (madonna/whore) who are allowed to get away with anything because "boys will be boys".

Fuck that. We're all humans and we all need to treat each other with dignity and respect. Simple as.
beatlesluv Re: 13th-Dec-2012 05:57 am (UTC)
IA BB
sastra_fuss 13th-Dec-2012 02:02 am (UTC)
whatever
::combing my weave::
thelovehater 13th-Dec-2012 02:29 am (UTC)
THIS
aquaricom 13th-Dec-2012 02:03 am (UTC)
It sounds like she was trying to sound profound and spiritual, using vanity and opulence as some sort of theme but it really is all over the place and I don't really get it....

at one point it even straight up sounds like it is about abuse?? idk
muzicnem 13th-Dec-2012 02:03 am (UTC)
Agreed. Like I understood bits and pieces but it sounded kind of stream of conscious to me.
cutesiness 13th-Dec-2012 02:03 am (UTC)
kinda ot but rme at straight men who insist that women hold the power because we can control them with our love and vagina. i hear "men are the head but women are the neck" so much on facebook (lol), it's tiring.
muzicnem 13th-Dec-2012 02:04 am (UTC)
Ugh..ikr. And it's not like that thought process helps us women out anyway because it just makes men resent women more for feeling powerless.
cutesiness 13th-Dec-2012 02:07 am (UTC)
it's frustrating when some women eat that shit up. i mean, it's great that you feel sexy and powerful, but just how much power do you really hold when you're still catering to the straight male gaze? :/
anus 13th-Dec-2012 02:13 am (UTC)
I have had so many arguments with my ex about this sort of thing. He claims I'm always spewing my 'feminist bs'. He's all like 'Oh you don't understand. You can get with any guy you want all you have to do is offer him sex, but it's so hard for us dudes blah blah' and it's like wtf. Yeah if all I wanted was sex from guys, then I could easily use them, but that's completely not the point.
chantalzola 13th-Dec-2012 04:29 am (UTC)
"men are the head but women are the neck"

That has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Also sexist. So women are dumb, but we can control where men go? or something. What BS.
thishollywood 13th-Dec-2012 02:04 am (UTC)
Infantalizing appropriation hetero-normative slut shaming
ritzyroxie 13th-Dec-2012 02:04 am (UTC)
ia on all points
noon 13th-Dec-2012 02:06 am (UTC)
check your multisyllabic privilege pls
ectypes 13th-Dec-2012 02:15 am (UTC)
lol
roxania 13th-Dec-2012 02:06 am (UTC)
bang bang!
bee_xx3 13th-Dec-2012 02:09 am (UTC)
lol
fionaapple 13th-Dec-2012 02:50 am (UTC)
lol
heartina_cage 13th-Dec-2012 05:18 am (UTC)
Did you just put all of ONTD's favourite buzzwords into one comment?
lupine_seeds 14th-Dec-2012 03:43 pm (UTC)
you're being problematic and reductive tbh
ritzyroxie that war on men is a truly beautiful thing13th-Dec-2012 02:04 am (UTC)
the_wolski Re: that war on men is a truly beautiful thing13th-Dec-2012 02:05 am (UTC)
lmao i love these misandry memes, and like the word misandry
arisma Re: that war on men is a truly beautiful thing13th-Dec-2012 02:07 am (UTC)
This gif is fucking flawless.
ritzyroxie Re: that war on men is a truly beautiful thing13th-Dec-2012 02:10 am (UTC)
ikr? I was rewatching 9 to 5 and couldn't help myself
treegrowth Re: that war on men is a truly beautiful thing13th-Dec-2012 02:08 am (UTC)
lmaoooo i love this
all my 9-5 flawless queens
noon Re: that war on men is a truly beautiful thing13th-Dec-2012 02:09 am (UTC)
dolly is working that pale chartreuse


ectypes Re: that war on men is a truly beautiful thing13th-Dec-2012 02:14 am (UTC)
hahahahahaha omg this nonsense i love it
myblackass Re: that war on men is a truly beautiful thing13th-Dec-2012 02:20 am (UTC)
I loved that movie when I was a kid.
ladyvoldything Re: that war on men is a truly beautiful thing13th-Dec-2012 02:34 am (UTC)
yes dis movie
anydoppelganger Re: that war on men is a truly beautiful thing13th-Dec-2012 02:57 am (UTC)
YESSSSS cackling
derrobitch Re: that war on men is a truly beautiful thing13th-Dec-2012 03:50 am (UTC)
this gif is the most perfect thing ive ever seen
leaf_collector Re: that war on men is a truly beautiful thing13th-Dec-2012 08:51 pm (UTC)
lmao this flawless gif CHEERS~
icallitwormlog 13th-Dec-2012 02:05 am (UTC)
I'm sure she means well but I'm really tired of the "it hurts men too!" nonsense. If you need to be told that the degradation of women harms men in some way for you to care about it, I don't have time for you.
cutesiness 13th-Dec-2012 02:08 am (UTC)
lbr the only time men care about it is when it affects them
denythesymptoms 13th-Dec-2012 02:30 am (UTC)
but but, in the immortal words of a tumblr user, ''women aren't the only victims of violence against women!''

smh
silly_edward 13th-Dec-2012 02:46 am (UTC)
I'm not attacking you but I really don't get this train of thought; yes, someone's intentions can be misguided (like you said, the degradation of women harming men for people to care) but if people care, isn't that a good thing? You'd rather not have that support at all?
While I don't agree with their intentions, the fact that people think that there needs to be a change, is that really a bad thing?
jello404 17th-Dec-2012 10:40 pm (UTC)
i think that's her tatic . She's manipulating men into respecting us for their benefit. It's sneaky but she's smart. I see what she's doing. And it's BRILLAINT. Men only care about themselves,and by giving the face of feminism over to men and makin it a thing about their benefit,we can atta k from the inside out lmfao
roxania 13th-Dec-2012 02:06 am (UTC)
the idea that us women are only here to help men reach their !true potential is starting to piss me off. Yes, put all the blame on the women and let's forget about the poor defenceless men!
ronnie_luvs_u 13th-Dec-2012 02:07 am (UTC)
eye's

eye's

did she not proofread her ~profound thesis before posting?
piratesswoop 13th-Dec-2012 02:09 am (UTC)
that shit annoys me so much omw
ronnie_luvs_u 13th-Dec-2012 02:15 am (UTC)
me too, especially since I'm ESL. Like if my ass knows the difference, yours definitely should.

And I get that people make typos and such, but seeing as this was meant to be such a meaningful statement, you'd think she'd take 5 minutes to proofread her crap before posting.

/rage.
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