1. How to look flawless after a divorce
2. How to pass notes like a boss.
3. How to be a smart girl at the party.
4. How to close the gap between you and your fictional persona.
5. How to win at life even if you don't win an Emmy.
6. How to react appropriately to a Tammy.
7. How to please a bona fide Bronx gal.
8. How to make a great paper doll.
9. How to pull off an incredibly lifelike wig.
10. What girl code actually means.
11. How to meet Joe Biden.
12. How to make fun of Paul Rudd.
PHILLY JUSTICE STYLE.
13. How to raise the ultimate ginge.
14. How to make Samantha Ronson laugh.
15. Also gasp.
16. How to have safe sex.
17. How to react appropriately.
18. How to make out with Adam Scott.
Via his balloon avatar.
19. How to make out with David Letterman.
20. How to be tiny and terrifying at the same time.
21. How to answer questions flawlessly in a bathtub.
22. How to internalize your fangirling when your two favorite people meet.
23. Where the best places to hide are.
24. How to front for the Foo Fighters.
25. How to porpoise call.
26. How to dress like Ben Franklin and spill groceries cinematically with Paul Rudd.
From their upcoming movie They Came Together.
27. How to rock the half-perm.
28. How to reunite with the cast of your iconic cult movie.
Yes there was a Wet Hot American Summer Reunion, and yes, you missed it.
29. How to get Andrew Garfield to put his arm around you.
30. How to be a flawless human being.
What lessons has Queen Poehler taught you this year, ONTD?
What lessons are you hoping to learn in 2013?