Zooey
you can read this instead: http://jenniferarmintrout.blogspot.ca/p/jen-reads-50-shades-of-grey.html

it's basically recaps of each chapter with ridiculous excerpts and the blogger points out everything that's wrong with the series, including grammar, characterization, plagiarism, abuse, etc.

it's a way to read it without really reading it. I really like the recaps and now I know what everyone's talking about without having to go through the painful process of reading it myself.