deep blue
Skyfall was just a pseudo-nostalgic Disney ride - they did away with the female M in the most patronizing way possible, they brought back the sexist anachronisms that was Moneypenny and of course the nerdy white guy who ticked off every tired cliché in the book. Bardem was truly awful - the pim pom pum sounds he kept making were so fucking obnoxious I can't. And if Skyfall really wanted to be like the old Sean Connery Bond films, make the villain as out of this world as fucking possible. Make him live in a volcano stroking a persian cat who wears diamonds JUST CAUSE. Don't give him a sob story or make him a ~computer villain, that's just lazy and boring and dated.

I enjoyed the previous Daniel Craig Bond films because they felt truly modern and his weary cynicism didn't need a backstory or gimmicks like an Aston Martin (who gives a fuck apart from sad babyboomers) or cheesy one liners ("I never liked the place" he says to no one and then his mansion explodes). Quantum of Solace was about *modern* problems with a liberal twist - water monopolies and environmentalists. Skyfall is a conservative fantasy about how the big bad public should stay out of the way of the noble and good intelligence services.

And last but not least, James Bond is not fucking Batman. I'm not here for the deaths of his parents or his gothic mansion, he's supposed to mysterious ffs.