how DARE you??? have you no manners? did you parents simply enroll you in the primary school closest to your home without regard for its prestige level? you are making a mockery of goop and simply i will not stand for it. i'm sorry to be so coarse i'm just looking out for your best interest is all. i never want to see anyone humiliated in such a public fashion.

listen darling, these are serious times and if you are going to post about sincerely giving someone 1,000 folded paper cranes as a gift, i, at the very least, expect a secondary suggestion, such a giving them a sheet of notebook paper or some used toilet roll. and what, pray tell, do you have to say about the backgammon board? can i substitute chinese checkers for my asian friends? these are the questions one must ask themselves before posting about goop, my darling.