ONTD

someone post that NO NO NO squid gif plz and thx

aside from that, here for this post!

I'm so ready for this post. You could say that I'm "like a wubbering springboard" but I don't even know what that's supposed to mean so

I can't stop laughing tbh. In some cases I'm undecided whether they're intentionally hilarious or just a failed attempt at poetry.

Now his big generative jockey was inside her pelvic saddle, riding, riding, riding, and she was eagerly swallowing it swallowing it swallowing it with the saddle’s own lips and maw — all this without a word.

I FUCKING CANT

These are fanfics, right?

"My cock was barely a ghost, but I did not suffer panic.”



.....Is that the new literary way to describe having a micropeen?

She smells of almonds, like a plump Bakewell pudding; and he is the spoon, the whipped cream, the helpless dollop of warm custard. She steams. He applauds, his tongue hanging out

I think someone was writing while they were hungry.

Then he put his boys thingy in mine and we did it for the first time

omg there are people who actually think that?

um fanfic was around looooooooooong before HP

reasons not to sleep with writers tbh:
Noughties by Ben Masters: “We got up from the chair and she led me to her elfin grot, getting amongst the pillows and cool sheets. We trawled each other’s bodies for every inch of history. I dug after what I had always imagined and came up with even more. She stroked my outlines in perfect synchrony until I was febrile in her hands, willingly guided elsewhere.”

i imagined it like santa's grotto... lots on tinsel and bad wrapping paper and fairy lights idea

I set her on my pacing steed,
And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
A faery’s song.

VII.

She found me roots of relish sweet, 25
And honey wild, and manna dew,
And sure in language strange she said—
“I love thee true.”

VIII.

She took me to her elfin grot,
And there she wept, and sigh’d fill sore, 30
And there I shut her wild wild eyes
With kisses four.

I hate the term "my sex"

I'd much rather read the word cunt than pussy tbqh, pussy just sounds so twee and gross

(and ia w the hate on the 'my sex' bit too)

She had never tried wu-wei in this situation before and Khünbish, hairy and slightly paunchy, she noticed now that he had his shirt off, was generating slightly more karmic energy than she had anticipated.”



what the actual fuck? It's like the author forgot what they were doing in the middle of a sentence and just wrote gibberish instead.

I came into this post looking for pointers, as I have to write a sex scene soon and I don't want it to be cliche-y and terrible.

and wow.

“And he came. Like a wubbering springboard. His ejaculate jumped the length of her arm. Eight diminishing gouts. The first too high for her to lick. Right on the shoulder.”


i don't think I have anything to worry about.