So not looking forward to Thanksgiving. Just thinking about it is giving me anxiety. Every year I'm told my life in meaningless and I'm a spinster because I'm not married and I don't have kids. I was even told if I'm not married by the time I'm 30 (which I turned 30 on the 10th) I should just give up.
Girl, you do you! When people start harping, start snarking right back! Since you're 30 and apparently have crossed the event horizon of marriageability and your life is "meaningless" what you say shouldn't matter to them yeah? So snark it up! Maybe it's bad advice, but that really irritates me when people say that sort of stuff.
It's not bad advice. I do get a little snarky, but I hold back and just roll my eyes. But I've been hearing this every year since I was 21. I hate having to deal with it.
be the first to bring it up. show them it's a joke to you and if anyone brings it up again after that, comment that their life must not have too much meaning if all they worry about is yours.
i don't either. i'm a 25 year old spinster according to my family, so i definitely relate to you. i've just taken to laughing about it and continuing to not give a shit.
Wow, fuck those people. I got that kind of shit through my teens and early adult years, because all my cousins (and brother) would have boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses they'd bring over the holidays or at weddings, and I was always single (I did date, just... wasn't much for the long term relationships and never had a boyfriend at the same time as the holidays). People would ask me why I didn't have someone, and I would get bullshit like 'a pretty girl like you should have tons of dates!'.
It used to bother me, until I actually told people that I didn't believe in dating just for the sake of having someone, and until someone I wanted to be with came along I wasn't gonna bother with dating boys just to make my aunts and uncles happy. That person did come along, and I'm married now, and I'm more glad than ever that I did me instead of caving in and getting a boyfriend just for the sake of not being single.
Even if I'd remained single for the rest of my life, that wouldn't have made my life meaningless. Only people who evaluate what their life is worth based on whether or not they are in a relationship have meaningless lives. You do you, and fuck them.
I wish I can like your comment a 100 times. Except I wouldn't get "a pretty girl like you." I'd get maybe you'd have someone if you lost a few pounds. But this is exactly how I feel. And you're right, it's not worth dating someone just for the sake of being with someone. I'd rather be alone and happy then with someone and miserable.
Oh, I got a ton of comments on my weight too (my favorite was a backhanded compliment I got at a wedding, when an aunt was criticizing one of my cousins, because she was overweight and a potato sack would have been an improvement on her outfit, saying 'She should take more pride in herself even if she's fat. I mean, look at you, you always present yourself nicely!'). My dad was pretty bad about criticizing my weight too, probably the most openly (he would joke about it, mostly saying things like I'd never find a man with that chub, but it was still hurtful... even if considering he doesn't mention it ever now, even though I've regained some weight after losing 70 pounds, I think he was actually looking out for me in his own messed up way).
It got to the point where for a while, it had me convinced that even if I found someone that I wanted to be with, they wouldn't want to be with me because I wasn't super thin and stuff (I was wrong though).
Maybe it's bad advice, but that really irritates me when people say that sort of stuff.
It used to bother me, until I actually told people that I didn't believe in dating just for the sake of having someone, and until someone I wanted to be with came along I wasn't gonna bother with dating boys just to make my aunts and uncles happy. That person did come along, and I'm married now, and I'm more glad than ever that I did me instead of caving in and getting a boyfriend just for the sake of not being single.
Even if I'd remained single for the rest of my life, that wouldn't have made my life meaningless. Only people who evaluate what their life is worth based on whether or not they are in a relationship have meaningless lives. You do you, and fuck them.
It got to the point where for a while, it had me convinced that even if I found someone that I wanted to be with, they wouldn't want to be with me because I wasn't super thin and stuff (I was wrong though).
And of course, flawless performance!