ONTD

11:48 am - 11/14/2012

Guy Fieri's New Restaurant Is Apparently As Bad As His Style


New York Times food critic Pete Wells published a review of Guy's American Bar and Grill, the latest concept from Food Network-famous walking hot rod Guy Fieri, that's composed entirely of questions. And it's awesome. The review, that is. The restaurant sounds absolutely horrible.

We didn't exactly expect four stars for Fieri's Times Square location. Other outlets have said the spot "won't kill you (immediately)" and described the offerings as "the end-product of our struggle to extract edible elements from heaps of sugar and sludge masquerading as normal food." One Yelp reviewer invites readers to "imagine an 11-year old boy designing a menu" and then "imagine the food served with the apathy of a New York MTA worker." Another reviewer found it odd that "there are TVs in the bathroom screening [Fieri's] shows." But Wells really drives the point home.


You need to read the New York Times review yourself. As an appetizer, of sorts, we've selected a few of our favorite Pete Wells curiosities from his experience at Guy's American Bar and Grill. If you've found yourself in this Times Square food factory, the critic wants to know:

"Did panic grip your soul as you stared into the whirling hypno wheel of the menu, where adjectives and nouns spin in a crazy vortex?"

"Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?"

"When you hung that sign by the entrance that says, WELCOME TO FLAVOR TOWN!, were you just messing with our heads?"

"Somewhere within the yawning, three-level interior of Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar, is there a long refrigerated tunnel that servers have to pass through to make sure that the French fries, already limp and oil-sogged, are also served cold?"

"Is the entire restaurant a very expensive piece of conceptual art? Is the shapeless, structureless baked alaska that droops and slumps and collapses while you eat it, or don’t eat it, supposed to be a representation in sugar and eggs of the experience of going insane?"



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deearem 14th-Nov-2012 05:21 pm (UTC)
I've been to two of the places he's been to in/around Houston and the food at both places was fucking amazing.
lothlorienbow 14th-Nov-2012 05:44 pm (UTC)
Ooooooooh! Which places were they? (In Houston)
deearem 14th-Nov-2012 05:51 pm (UTC)
Lankford's Grocery, a burger joint. Cheeseburgers are my favorite food and holy shit they have the best burgers I've ever tasted in my life. Been there twice.

And we drove to College Station to try Hullabaloos. Been there twice too.
owtfx 14th-Nov-2012 06:41 pm (UTC)
i bet they're really pricey for a diner joint
deearem 14th-Nov-2012 06:42 pm (UTC)
No, not at all. Both places are pretty affordable.
foureyedgirl 14th-Nov-2012 06:18 pm (UTC)
I know you didn't ask me but I've been to one of the places, Cafe Pita on Westheimer. SO good!
deearem 14th-Nov-2012 06:43 pm (UTC)
I want to go there next!
foureyedgirl 14th-Nov-2012 06:50 pm (UTC)
They just opened a second location at the Galleria too.
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