3:22 pm - 11/09/2012
Lark Voorhies, famous for playing Lisa Turtle on the 90s hit Saved By The Bell, denies she's suffering from bipolar disorder in a bizarre new interview with Entertainment Tonight, and we've got all the details for you right here on RadarOnline.
Lark, who says she’s not seeing a doctor, tells ET she was duped by People magazine, who she says initially pitched their recent story about her -- an investigation into her battle with mental illness -- as a profile piece.
"It is a small u …opinionata that is getting blown currently out of proportions," she told ET's Christina McLarty. "I have no stating reasons why anyone should worry about me. Clearly, I am a very strong, top-of-the line, always riding to it personage.
"I have no worries myself, nor do I exude, exhibit or possess within my living stratus any reason why someone should worry [on] my behalf -- it's completely fictional. You know, you put all the right elements together and you keep them going...we have to be entertainers. This is our particular angle."
People, saying they spent hours with the actress and her loved ones, said, "We stand by our story."
RadarOnline
Lark Voorhies’ Bizarre Interview: I'm Not Bipolar, It's A Small Opinionata!
Lark Voorhies, famous for playing Lisa Turtle on the 90s hit Saved By The Bell, denies she's suffering from bipolar disorder in a bizarre new interview with Entertainment Tonight, and we've got all the details for you right here on RadarOnline.
Lark, who says she’s not seeing a doctor, tells ET she was duped by People magazine, who she says initially pitched their recent story about her -- an investigation into her battle with mental illness -- as a profile piece.
"It is a small u …opinionata that is getting blown currently out of proportions," she told ET's Christina McLarty. "I have no stating reasons why anyone should worry about me. Clearly, I am a very strong, top-of-the line, always riding to it personage.
"I have no worries myself, nor do I exude, exhibit or possess within my living stratus any reason why someone should worry [on] my behalf -- it's completely fictional. You know, you put all the right elements together and you keep them going...we have to be entertainers. This is our particular angle."
People, saying they spent hours with the actress and her loved ones, said, "We stand by our story."
RadarOnline
Yeah...I can see why.
This is so sad.
I thought the magazine raised questions about her mental health because she was acting strange and her mother replied with her answer.
I don't think her mother did it to OUT her daughter or hurt her. She was a part of the interview and answered her question.
Anyway...Someone wrote an article about her books, and posted excerpts from them.
There is definitely something wrong.
"Her other book from last year, Trek of the Cheshire, is not, but its physical listing contains this description of its author:
Lark Voorhies, styles, a, wondrous, realm, A mystical liberation of enlisting proportions. Lark Voorhies, spans to, reengineer the Abominable, American, Woman! Reinstalling, the faith, into, the, known, variable, Lark Voorhies, gloriously, resurrects, the victored, Phoenix, compelled, and, complete, unto, awaited, timelines, there, unthwarted. A, Masterful, carousel, on, tow, to, consider, Trek of the Cheshire, convincingly, entails, the, rite, of, way, unto, pedistaled, titlement, aborn, the, fremounted, vestule, presumed. A, brilliant, luminere, Trek of the Cheshire, gains, quantum-found, enrolls, unto, aprailient, casters, therefore, mound, pretor. The, mystical, theme, premiers, the, feminine, articulation, to a, modern-day, pristine! Scales, and, acquaintentides, above, all, prominent, measure. Trek of the Cheshire, toasts, call, and, wrail, as, akeen, figures, post, promenade, in, one, of, the, most, prominently, azure, productions, to, grace, page, within, the, told, bolarity, this, era. A, winsome, carry-all, Trek of the Cheshire, coasts, supreme. Boldened, amongst, the, attributate, and, atokened, writes, this, side, of, the, windmiracle, Dixie, Cheshire, promises, conclusive, frank, insight, unto, the, homo-gendered, expressions, of, today. Will, delight, apleeting, and, afortuitous, senses, alike. Boasting, pleasure, on, soar, Lark Voorhies, turns, in, a, hornfest, of, time-aquilled, recordings, sure, to, administer, the, blunt, end, of, current, and, power-packed, face-offs, afforded, the, novel, to, average, mightful, seeker. Trek of the Cheshire, preempts, post-phasal, ruptures, guaranteed, to, raise, the, crest, of, treasured, scailings, to, a, high-probed, notch!
It's not just a hornfest; it's a hornfest with commas. In fact, it's more a commafest than a hornfest. I know that and I haven't even read it. Voorhies loves the punctuation mark. True Light radiates with them. The three-page intro contains barely a word that isn't separated by commas. Here is its opening, all [sic] everything:
For, ages, we have learned, to, search, for, the, truth, about, life. The, truth, in, regard, to, the, opolous, insight. Facts, ascertaned, according, to, the, willing, advance, of, theme, and, time. Fames, tolled, apart, from, steads. Standards, partrolled, in, union, with, the, ever, held, age, perfection, within, the, stales, of, solution. New, boarders, of, parental, discovery, taled, to, the, wind, of, true, shelter, and, destine. At, harmony's length, we, trivail, the, chiefs, of, known, ability, to, prevail, the, pronounce, of, hartmanship.
It goes on like this. If a dead white guy wrote it, it would probably be lauded even before it could be pored over. She uses words like "plithany," "ahieght," "windtales," "ritters," "preimphantly" and "ziquester," but unlike Dune, there is no glossary in the back. Just when you think maybe she just decided to fill a book with mock-up layout gibberish, she quotes Genesis. The second chapter ("Created by: Lark Voorhie" reads the top of the page) uses a block quote and then starts relatively coherently:
There are many beginnings in the bible. In this beginning, as you see here, the earth, later known as the lands, the nations, or, the, world, begins within a, formless, darkness, later known as the expanse. In, biblical, language, it is of import, to agree upon the authenticity, of its celestial, authorship, being that, the divine illustrator, himself, is noted to have authored, much, if not all of its inscribings, through the active hand of human standings.
I don't know what this book is about even though Voorhies provides an explanation:
This, is, the, book, of, sight. This, is, the, all, explanatory, form, upon, destiny. This, is, the, book, of, light.
(We're only on Page 5.)
Each of the 10 chapters is titled "Light," except for the first one, which is called "The Light." One of them is a brief list of sentences from various Bible books that include the word "light." The entire book is about the Bible. Here is how it ends (spoiler alert):
Kein, explore, and, ingeel, application, to, apreen, partake, of, lithened, enchantchentry.
Embark!
The other available book, Reciprocity is a novel that begins with "Two people, mid coitle." The third paragraph opens with, "Pleasure seizure has begun. Well, for Marcus, anyway." It seems kind of normal, if not consciously florid, but then, about 10 percent of the way through, the commas start. But only for a page or two. The book about a trip to Paris and Daddy issues shifts tenses, bungles idioms ("This was the straw that provoked her spirit") and is riddled with typos, but it's relatively clear in its narrative voice. Basically, it's no True Light: A, superior, take, unto, the, premier, haloing, of, tenuation.
That is, until the very end when many paragraphs start with "Enter:". For example:
Enter: Stratovarian. The, Red, Shoe. Day, same. We, see, Dana, waiting, in the, "hallway, of, chance." Ready, for, the dance, of, her, life. She, is, called, forth. She, accepts.
Enter: Smits, Financial. Day, same. We, also, see, the, correlation, with, her, "big, presentation", at work. She's, really, proving, herself.
Enter: House, of, Momfort. Momfort, Hall. Night, same. "I'm, one, of, two." Cheri begins.
Enter: Stratovarian. The, Red, Shoe. We, see, Dana, introduce, herself. She, begins, dancing, with, her, assigned, partner. She, is, absolutely, beautiful.
From there it falls apart. A few pages later:
Instited, upon, magnitude, Antione, accompanies, the, men, to, the, immediate, depart. To, the, wings, they, tear. Wristling, the, warn of; air, adjourned, to, time's palate. The, great, escape, shall, not, miss, his, fmgers. Not, with, the, bellows, so in cue. Antoine, and, his, men, load, on, and, into, the, awaiting, cavalcade. Cheri, the, surprise, doe.
Got it? Another spoiler: The book ends, of course, "happily, ever, after."
Edited at 2012-11-09 10:51 pm (UTC)
"and, i, think, it's, gonna, be, a long, long, time...i'm, a, rock, et, man."
But her talking reminds me of Joey using a thesaurus to write an adoption letter for Monica and Chandler on Friends
Couldn't embed clip of Baby Kangaroo Tribianni
She sounds off. :(