"It's supposed to be about, like, the greatest vampire sex you've ever had."
– Robert Pattinson, on his upcoming love scene from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2, to Australian talk show hosts Kyle and Jackie O
"Those are Bieber's girls and I wouldn't dare tangle with the Biebs."
– James Franco, shooting down rumors that he's dating Spring Breakers costars Selena Gomez and Ashley Benson, in his column for the Huffington Post
"Cam's ready for daddy's game."
– Kristin Cavallari, Tweeting a photo of 11-week-old son Camden, before quarterback dad Jay Cutler's Monday night football game against the Detroit Lions
"Grown men were weeping. Hopefully it's because I didn't sound bad."
– Justin Timberlake, who serenaded new wife Jessica Biel as she walked down the aisle, to PEOPLE
"Fast forward years later, I see these billboards of Anderson, looking buff, veins showing, muscles, like this strapping stallion."
– Lisa Ling, on how longtime friend Anderson Cooper has changed since they first met 18 years ago, on his talk show
"It's a bit startling to achieve global recognition before the age of 30 on account of your sister, your brother-in-law and your bottom."
– Pippa Middleton, in her new party-planning book, Celebrate: A Year of Festivities for Families and Friends
"This is mommy when she was 21. This is what not to do. Learn from it."
– Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, on how she'll explain her Jersey Shore antics to her son Lorenzo, on the Late Show with David Letterman
"Let the baby making begin."
– Carrie Ann Inaba, who fell off her chair following Gilles Marini's sexy dance number on DWTS
"I typed Wendy's and my zip code and then I got some nuggets. He got a wife the exact same way."
– Comedian Aziz Ansari, on how his friend found a wife through Internet dating, on Conan
"I have two pumpkins ... that's all I care about."
– Dolly Parton, referring to her legendary bosom when asked about her Halloween preparations, to TMZ
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
RPattz getting footrubs again from KStew
James Franco is a Belieber
QUIT QUOTING KRISTIN CAVALLARI, PEOPLE!
Can you spare a quarter-lake, Justin?
Lisa Ling and The Silver Fox
Pippa's Perky Posterior
Snooki 'n Saddles
Dancing the Mattress Mambo
Aziz is lookin' for a Wendy of his own
ONTD's sassy Aunt, Dolly Parton
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD! :-)