ONTD

There’s been a lot of Kristen Stewart happening this week. On Monday photos and video of Stewart and Robert Pattinson were released on Entertainment Tonight. The next day, Stewart and Pattinson were papped when they were out with friends. On Wednesday it was reported she bought a new home close to Pattinson. And on Thursday pictures of the two hugging and kissing at that home were purchased and published exclusively by our friends at PopSugar and all of it confirming, ahem, what I was the first to report during TIFF: that they’re back together, obviously. More on this in a minute.

In addition to working the media about her relationship, Stewart was also working for her sponsorship yesterday. As announced last week, she participated in a live chat to sell Balenciaga Florabotanica -- she is the face of the fragrance.

The event was supposed to be for 30 minutes. Stewart barely made it for half that time and was criticised for it. I don’t know if that’s on her though. To me, that’s on the totally incompetent moderator, Virginie Mouzat, who was assigned to the interview. There was no chemistry between them and there was no attempt by Mouzat to create any. Rather, Mouzat was almost condescending, like an aunt speaking to a child and even, on a couple of occasions, um, racist?

Oh, here’s a question from a fan in India and sorry if I f-cked up pronouncing your name but, you know, you’re from India so, like, it’s understandable.

And WTF with the Serbian comment?

Anyway, my point is, that woman did a terrible job. And, frankly, it’s HER responsibility to keep the interview going. I interview celebrities too as part of my job, and I promise you, in our industry, it’s practically criminal to UNDERuse the amount of time you’re given with a celebrity. The woman is supposed to be a style editor. You’re having a conversation about BALENCIAGA, one of the most stylish brands in the business. So you run out of fan questions -- you can’t come up with any of your own? Even a few generic ones?

-what’s your favourite item from the new Balenciaga collection this season?
-will you be wearing any of it for your upcoming tour?
-what is the process of selecting a promotional wardrobe? Does Nicolas help you with that? Does he make recommendations from his designs as to what he wants to see you in? Does he ever surprise you with the things he’s picked out.
-what was it like at the photo shoot? How many different pieces did you try? What was your favourite piece from the shoot? Do you like the look of the bottle?

Sure, they’re not the dishiest, gossipiest questions, but they’re at least new questions that would extend an interview closer to its promised length and give the fans more opportunity to spend time with her, non?

And she tried, Kristen Stewart, she did. In fairness to her, she tried. When it became obvious that the sh-tty moderator had nothing else to say, Stewart just randomly started complimenting Nicolas Ghesquiere, Balenciaga’s creative director, in an attempt to extend the conversation. The French lady meanwhile was ready to go for a cigarette and order up an afternoon snack. It was lazy work. And when you combine that with Stewart’s notoriously awkward demeanor, well, I don’t know that Balenciaga really hit one out there this time. 

Yes, as usual, Stewart was awkward. As usual she was not very... poised. I mean, that swinging leg back and forth, even a Twi-Hard would agree it’s not the definition of poise, right? And, as usual, she wasn’t particularly articulate. At one point she had a hard time coming up with three adjectives to describe the product she’s being paid to promote. From a brand and marketing perspective, this is incredibly frustrating. Because how challenging can it be to come up with a few attributes if, say, you, like, I dunno... prepare? People were encouraged to submit questions in advance. It was clear that the questions were screened. If they’d been sent to Stewart to review the day before, she could have had a general sense of how to answer.

Oh but oh no...

She’s so real and in the moment, she could never possibly compromise all that real inthemomentness and not be authentic in the moment and give a scripted answer...could she?

This is a job. Just like acting is a JOB. In acting, they give you a script. There are lines to deliver. And while you may modify it here and there, or collaboratively change the dialogue to better reflect the character, the point is, you’re working off a document that helps you frame the response...

And that’s how it is with an interview.

It’s also the mature, adult thing to do. You know, your homework. You can think about what you want to say without having it sound overly rehearsed and unnatural. It’s ok to have thoughts about something in advance. That doesn’t make you a fraud. That doesn’t compromise any authenticity or integrity. But this, I suppose, is typical of arty idealist types in their early 20s -- it’s vision in extremes: ie. preparation and spontaneity cannot co-exist! The only true ideas and feelings are those that are thought and felt in REAL TIME. Everything else is impure!

If you’re signing deals with luxury brands, maybe it’s time to get past the entry level junior philosophy s-t and approach the situation like a proper business person, the kind of person who was savvy enough to take this partnership in the first place. After all, it’s not like Kristen Stewart isn’t demonstrating that she’s a player now.

About these photos at PopSugar of the two of them kissing and hugging poolside at her new place, clearly having moved on from the summer scandal...

The photo agency representing these images is AKM-GSI. It’s the same agency that often shoots LeAnn Rimes when, you know, she’s engaged and she just happens to be gazing out at the ocean with Eddie Cibrian’s arms around her and the ring in full view. It’s also the agency that shoots Megan Fox when she gets married in Hawaii, top secretly, or when she’s pregnant in Hawaii and the bump is unmistakable and her husband is kissing it.

You know this, I know you do. That celebrities stage photos or arrange to have their photos taken “candidly”. That they engage the paps to help disseminate their message. The message right now, a few weeks before the release of Twilight 5: Breaking Dawn 2, is that Robsten is not only Unbroken, but that Robsten is THRIVING and #strongahthanevah!

Oh how now? Kristen Stewart engaging the disgusting, immoral, vile paparazzi?

Hey fans, do you get to call them vile if you took pleasure at the product?

And do you get to call them vile anymore if you’re engaging them to do business? If Stewart had not been caught with Rupert Sanders in July, working with the paps to produce these photos would probably not have been necessary. But her circumstances changed. These are the pragmatic professional choices you make. And that’s fine. It’s great! Of course it is. Hollywood is a BUSINESS. I’m down with Kristen Stewart doing business. But the minute you decide to do business, you know you can’t complain about it anymore, right?