Nicole Kidman for "Harper's Bazaar " [ November/USA]

Actress Nicole Kidman, last week, broke her silence on the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce, as well as her failed marriage to the actor in the Australian magazine, Who. Today, she also talks candidly in an interview for the November issue of Harper’s BAZAAR about feeling insecure in her marriage to Tom, juggling motherhood and family, being in the public eye and feeling more herself with husband Keith Urban.

On early fame when she was married to Tom Cruise: “In those early years, it was like, ‘I’m here and I’m clutching onto your arm, and it all feels a little overwhelming and really strange,” she recalls. “And I was shy. Deeply shy. I didn’t feel comfortable at all. But I felt very comfortable at home.”

On her husband of six years, Keith Urban: “He just gave me confidence through just being very kind to me and understanding me, opening me up to trying things, my sexuality, those sorts of things.”

After the adventure of Cruise, she characterizes Urban as “more like an ocean; he took me out.” She has always appreciated “a bigger, stronger personality; that’s what I’ve been drawn to. I need protection. Everyone wants to feel someone’s got their back.”

At almost five foot eleven and as willowy as a teenager, Nicole has always been the One to dress. She tries gowns on at home, but when she’s at a premiere, all eyes are on her. She doesn’t obsess about it, though. “Less as you get older. All of that other stuff becomes less important. Like, I’ve always had a little belly. I mean, now that I’m 45, they don’t say, ‘Oh, she’s pregnant!’ as much. But I’ve got skinny arms and legs, and then I’ve got a little belly.”

“I find standing and posing for photos very awkward,” Nicole says, relating how she sometimes gets body makeup all over Keith’s tuxedo. “Red-carpet truths!” “I make sure to wear comfortable dresses,” she explains, “because I want to be able to go out afterward and, you know, bend.”

The November issue of Harper’s BAZAAR hits newsstands October 23, and features Kidman in a gold Emilio Pucci gown, and a Cartier cuff. Inside, she showcases looks by Dior Haute Couture, Missoni, Oscar de la Renta and Versace, all shot by Terry Richardson.