ONTD

I kinda agree, tbh. What he said was condescending and way out of line (and arguably masking some level of misogyny), but I'm not sure that's really what bullying is. I swear that's become such a buzzword and lost all meaning, and I partially blame Glee. :P

But that's just it--I mean, I don't blame the show 100% for everything bad in life, but half of that stuff was played for laughs, or at least presented as not that serious (especially the Rachel stuff), whereas other times it was the biggest deal ever. I mean, they used the slushie thing as a cutesy ad campaign, and then whatever-his-name was nearly took Blaine's eye out with a rock salt slushie. And then Santana got revenge in a sing-off. Is it serious or is it not?

But Glee is very selective. Bullying is only bullying when the show wants you to see it as bullying

TV - bad world

ia

I loved that Livingston spoke up about this jerk as he deserved to be called out for his assholeness. But I have to agree with what Octavia said. Usually bullying is long term constant harassment. Overusing and misusing a term can lead to it losing it's impact.

Then it's a good thing no one has said anything about the guy not being a bully, ja?

She's right. Of course it's not nice to be attacked like that and the guy's definitely an asshole, but it's in no way comparable to being physically and verbally attacked by a whole class on a daily basis for more than a year, ty.

Yes, ia. Livingston should absolutely have called that asshole out; he was way out of line and obviously sexist as shit, but I wouldn't call it bullying.

ia

but that's not a new thing. the misuse and overuse of the term.


look back 3 or 4 years at race imbroglios and you'll see a whole lotta pressed people claiming bullying bc they said something ignorant and got called out on it

I think people are too quick to scream "bully" or whatever verb or past sense of it.

A while ago, I was working with some awful people on a project who never invited me out, they would go out during the work day for drinks and leave me alone in the office. I was indifferent to them, I thought they were a bunch of rude arse mofos with bad attitude.

And anytime they went out and left me to work, I broke out my bottle of malibu, surfed ONTD and drank.

I told somebody else about it and they were like "you are being bullied blah, blah, blah". I thought I was a bad arse mofo getting drunk at work and having one up on those shit bags who thought I was doing all their work for them. I never felt bad about the situation till that moment because suddenly I felt like a victim.

And before anyone jumps on me, I'm speaking to my personal experience and not bullying or bullies as a whole.

I think it was easy for me because I work freelance, so I knew I would be out of there soon.

I think you should speak up. I understand it can be daunting talking to them as a group. Start with one person you have liked from a far. Talk to them at the coffee machine or whatever to build a rapport. Do that for a week. Then next week when he/she is leaving for lunch ask to tag along.

Edited at 2012-10-07 03:12 pm (UTC)

I think the term bullying is being overused and wrongly applied at times. I've seen people attach it to anything said that's remotely negative.

I'm sorry but when did sending off that fucked up email fall under the "normal conflict" category? Sending ill-worded condescending emails about weight like that is psychotic, not normal by any means, nor acceptable!!

That sounds like a nice short film, but I'm tired of the "don't let it get you down" approach. Sometimes that doesn't work, sometimes something else is needed and being told "don't let it get you down" makes things worse. I feel that it shifts the blame from the bullies to the bullied because it might become a ~you are taking it too deep~.

I was bullied for 7 years (from pre-first to sixth grade) and that was what I was always taught. ~Don't let it get you down, you are taking things too seriously~ My mom taught me to endure that type of treatment because I was getting something out of it (i had a 100% scholarship and my dad had just died so we didn't have money for me to change schools), which I feel translated to me seek being in codependent/abusive relationships because I thought that this was the only way to be you know? that maybe my relationship wasn't that bad just cause I was being too serious, taking things too deeply, idk.

The incident didn't make her the victim of bullying on anywhere near the same scale as many, many people experience everyday. But I think that the dude who wrote her the email was a bully, and one of the main points she was making was that bullies raise bullies, and it's a cycle.

I've always felt like there needs to be more terms to describe these behaviors, preferably to properly depict its seriousness. (My shrink as a youngin' called it Peer Abuse.)

IA - I was bullied viciously for years during high school and I let people easily intimidate me. I admire that this anchor woman stood up for herself. But she should not wrap it around the label of bullying because it erodes the meaning. My concern is people who are/were bullied mercilessly in hs (& now adults) will have a tough time healing those wounds because people may downplay it and counter saying you were only criticized - get over it. In the end, the scars remain with you and it makes for very awkward interpersonal skills.

Absolutely agree.

Last year I was interning in a NJ public school as a Guidance intern and the state had just implemented one of the toughest bullying laws in the country. The stuff we had to investigate because the student said he felt "bullied" was ridiculous. While I am very happy that it's creating a stronger bond between students and staff to talk about things that are bothering them, sometimes students become less self-sufficient. I don't know, it's a tough one. But yes, that word is way overused and even I roll my eyes when I hear it sometimes.

Personally, I don't think she meant that she personally was being bullied, but that this guy (and people like him) have attitudes that make bullying seem OK to their kids, etc. I mean let's face it, if this bothered him enough to take the time to sit down and write an email about it, there's no way he hasn't talked about it out loud as well. And like she said, if he has kids and they hear him going off about the fat anchor at the dinner table, it makes them think it's OK to go to school and call a classmate fat...and *that* is how the cycle of bullying starts. So I think she was trying to use this as an example of how this behavior can start your kids on that path, directed to the parents of kids who are bullying others but whose reaction is *always* "My precious little Johnny/Jane would NEVER do that! We have raised our kids right!"

Things like this is why my sister has rules for my nephews, like they are not allowed to say they hate something (they can still express dislike, but not hate) or use the word fat. She's trying to teach them that those words have weight, and they are not to be just tossed around.