12:16 am - 10/03/2012
Now Let’s Predict What Happens To All The Gallery Girls
In a blow that’s sure to be devastating to all the art connouiseurs of the world as well as the publicity team for the Manhattan vs. Brooklyn feud, Gallery Girls aired their season finale last night. And considering that not one of the girls made a post-show appearance on Watch And See If Anything Happens On My Live Show That Features The Most Random Collection of Celebrities You’ve Ever Seen Outside of a Vh1 ‘Best of’ Special with Andy Cohen, I’m almost positive that last night’s season finale doubled as a series finale.
As Chantal Chadwick would say, “get off the adderall. Show’s over and I’m moving to Paris.”
So rather than daydream wistfully that the show will get picked up for a second season and that we’ll finally find out if Angela Pham ever found a grown-up job to match her grown-up handbag, let’s talk about the future.
Just because it’s the end of a century, doesn’t mean we can’t find a new beginning of a millenium. Or a middle of a decade or a twilight of an eon.
Amy Poliakoff
Soon after getting a real job, Amy realized that making your own money greatly helps with your self-esteem, Amy Poliakoff immediately cut herself off from her father’s generous giving. There’s just something so wonderfully gratifying about being able to buy your own bottles of wine and sit in your own tub with your own bubbles that you paid for all by yourself.
And then, she billed the End of Century girls for the pop-up store she funded for them in Miami after realizing that they not only didn’t appreciate her help, but they also stole Folgers coffee from her house and displayed it at End of Century in a gallery called “Middle Class Destitution and Sadness.”
Maggie Schaffer
After prematurely quitting her job with Eli Klein, Maggie shuffled back to him in defeat. With just one glance into her eyes, Eli says “don’t even mutter about it Maggie. I know.” He then told her to go into his back closet, reach behind his collection of pornograpy and grab the jewelry box that’s sitting on the shelf.
When she returned with the box, he instructed her to get on one knee and open it. It’s an engagement ring! Eli looks at Maggie, she looks at him.
“Sure, IguesswhynotIhatemylifeanyway,” she says adoringly.
“Great, you’ll plan the entire wedding, I’ll help with nothing and then I’ll cheat on you as soon as we get married!”
“Okay, letmejustcallRyanfirstandlethimknowthati
The two remain married forever, fully knowing that Eli cheats on Maggie with all his young, new interns.
Liz Margulies
Following several months of counseling for what Maggie Schaffer-Klein and her then-boyfriend Ryan did to her in Miami, Liz finally came to terms with the fact that all her anger actually stemmed from having to attend art school with Asians.
As soon as she realized this, she felt all the hatred flood out of her and she called her father and said, “I love you dad!”
He said, “I love you back” and suddenly everything changed. She no longer wanted to express her emotions through her artwork, but rather share her happiness and good fortune with the world.
After tattooing her favorite Anne Geddes portraits on her arms, she set out to bridge the dreaded gap between Manhattan trust fund babies and Brooklyn trust fund babies with an annual fundraiser called, “I have lipstick on my teeth, you have lipstick on your teeth, we all share the same stockbroker and should be friends!”
Kerri Lisa
dont care
Kerri Lisa gracefully quit her job as an intern so she could return fulltime to her job as a bagel-getter for men with private planes. However she soon missed the drama of both her jobs, as well as the excitement that came from going to dinner with a group of girls and then leaving without paying.
She’s currently auditioning for another Bravo reality show about Galosh Girls. Those are girls who aspire to get into the competitive world of designer galoshes.
Kerri believes that the experience might be able to help her if she ever decides to open up a galoshes boutique in her boutique hotel.
Angela Pham
After realizing that launching a photography business pleased her strict parents, Angela Pham attempted to find a new way to disown herself. She quickly stopped promoting her photography and returned to her greatest past time — promoting herself. When she’s not secretly waitressing in Brooklyn, she’s hawking a line of nipple tassels that she makes out of discarded foreskin and the tears of Manhattan girls who made the fatal mistake to travel to Brooklyn.
She’s doing quite well and rather than quitting her waitressing job, she plans to spend her profits on a big girl gay. That’s a gay who comes bedazzled in feathers and catchphrases like, “you look hot gurl!!”
Claudia Martinez Reardon
Claudia meant it when she told Angela Pham that she’s a hard worker who always sees a project through to the end. That’s why she burned End of Century down after quitting. Tearfully she called her parents from jail and told them that she hopes they’d accept an insurance check in lieu of the $15,000 dollars she owed them.
While she resigned herself to stay in jail for the rest of her life as a punishment for indulging Chantal in a job, the Sucklord held a fundraiser to pay for a defense attorney.
In exchange for his kindess, Claudia helped him open up a gallery to showcase all his wonderful creations. Sometimes he thanks for her hard work and tells her to take a day off.
She gently holds the vial of End of Century ashes she wears dutifully around her neck and fondly recalls the one time Chantal drunkenly thanked her for almost doing her job right.
Chantal Chadwick
After struggling to find any kind of enjoyment by being employed, Chantal Chadwick followed through on her threat to Claudia and moved to Paris. Within moments of arriving in the city, she grew bored. Not only could she tell right away that she’d be in the top five of her yoga class, but someone also had the audacity to ask her to pay rent. Couldn’t they see she’s an artist of the mind. That she’s a woman who thinks beyond money and electric bills and all these trivial things that people without a true artist’s eye for a Lower East Side accessories store focus on
While rumors ran rampant that she’d gone deep into the underground Japanese modeling scene, Bravo can only confirm that she returned her Gallery Girls paycheck to them with a note that she didn’t understand what they sent her and she wouldn’t accept it.
Her aunt paid for the return postage.
The Twenty Most Ridiculous Lines From Gallery Girls
Gallery Girls, Bravo's eight-episode collage of vapidness, finished its first (and likely only) season last night. We will miss you so! This show was a disaster, not just because of its abject phoniness — the ostensibly "brand-new" gallery End of Century actually opened years ago, for example — but also because of its truly vile and baffling cast. There was Chantal, always slouching and complaining and looking exactly like Arya Stark from Game of Thrones and ending all her phrases with a vocal-fry grumble; her sidekick Claudia, who kept feebly insisting the first syllable of her name rhymed with how not saw. Angela, the world's attention-needingest human; Liz, the poor little rich girl whose casual racism was eclipsed only by her shimmery eye shadow; Amy, the bubbly drunk; and Maggie, whose head was always lolling around like her neck wasn't strong enough to support it and who seemed somehow fully unable to express a complete thought. Technically, the show also included Kerri. But no one cared about her.
Through it all, through the tears, the nipple tape, the artificial drama, the confusing stereotypes, and the endless internships, we were comforted by one through-line: These women said truly ridiculous things. Here are our twenty favorite ("favorite") lines from the season.
1. "I woke up, I did some yoga, I had a French press coffee, and I'm ready for work!" — Chantal, two hours late for work.
2. "Coriander is my favorite herb." — Angela, who pronounces the H.
3. "Are you really drinking Michelob Light? You're the love of my life!" — Drunk Amy.
4. "There are so many trees." — Maggie, describing Florida.
5. "I need some real coffee. This tastes like Folgers." — Chantal.
6. "I'm really inspired by moroseness … and cinema?" — Angela, describing her photography.
7. "Everyone runs and hides here because everyone's, like, quiet little Asian people and scared." — Liz, describing her School of Visual Arts classmates.
8. "Like, don't get béchamel sauce all over my clothes." — Angela.
9. "I get my hair done four times a week. It's New York!" — Sober Amy.
10. "This event is supposed to make me buzz worthy!" — Angela.
11. "[Silence.]" — Maggie, whenever she's asked a direct question.
12. "It's really just teetering on the precipice of moroseness. That's really what I love about my own photography." — Angela.
13. “You need one LAMD … a look-at-me device. Usually it’s my big hats or pink pants or nipples." — Angela, who is not exaggerating at all.
14. "I don't trust anything from someone who calls himself the Sucklord. His name is probably Steve." — Claudia.
15. "[Crying.] You need to get off the Adderall or something." — Chantal, to her "business partner" Claudia.
16. "I accidentally showed [my boyfriend]'s boss a picture of my vagina." — Chantal.
17. "My family will definitely be excited if I get a paying job; they've wanted me to have that forever." — Maggie.
18. "Your friend is a disgusting vile commoner creature." — Liz, to Maggie.
19. "Amy's apartment is large, expensive, and gaudy, just like Amy." — Angela.
20. "[Nothing.]" — Kerri. Remember Kerri? No? Yeah, no.
hope this gets renewed idgaf
Source 1
Source 2
i bought a givenchy bag yesterday
Now Let’s Predict What Happens To All The Gallery Girls
In a blow that’s sure to be devastating to all the art connouiseurs of the world as well as the publicity team for the Manhattan vs. Brooklyn feud, Gallery Girls aired their season finale last night. And considering that not one of the girls made a post-show appearance on Watch And See If Anything Happens On My Live Show That Features The Most Random Collection of Celebrities You’ve Ever Seen Outside of a Vh1 ‘Best of’ Special with Andy Cohen, I’m almost positive that last night’s season finale doubled as a series finale.
As Chantal Chadwick would say, “get off the adderall. Show’s over and I’m moving to Paris.”
So rather than daydream wistfully that the show will get picked up for a second season and that we’ll finally find out if Angela Pham ever found a grown-up job to match her grown-up handbag, let’s talk about the future.
Just because it’s the end of a century, doesn’t mean we can’t find a new beginning of a millenium. Or a middle of a decade or a twilight of an eon.
Amy Poliakoff
Soon after getting a real job, Amy realized that making your own money greatly helps with your self-esteem, Amy Poliakoff immediately cut herself off from her father’s generous giving. There’s just something so wonderfully gratifying about being able to buy your own bottles of wine and sit in your own tub with your own bubbles that you paid for all by yourself.
And then, she billed the End of Century girls for the pop-up store she funded for them in Miami after realizing that they not only didn’t appreciate her help, but they also stole Folgers coffee from her house and displayed it at End of Century in a gallery called “Middle Class Destitution and Sadness.”
Maggie Schaffer
After prematurely quitting her job with Eli Klein, Maggie shuffled back to him in defeat. With just one glance into her eyes, Eli says “don’t even mutter about it Maggie. I know.” He then told her to go into his back closet, reach behind his collection of pornograpy and grab the jewelry box that’s sitting on the shelf.
When she returned with the box, he instructed her to get on one knee and open it. It’s an engagement ring! Eli looks at Maggie, she looks at him.
“Sure, IguesswhynotIhatemylifeanyway,” she says adoringly.
“Great, you’ll plan the entire wedding, I’ll help with nothing and then I’ll cheat on you as soon as we get married!”
“Okay, letmejustcallRyanfirstandlethimknowthati
The two remain married forever, fully knowing that Eli cheats on Maggie with all his young, new interns.
Liz Margulies
Following several months of counseling for what Maggie Schaffer-Klein and her then-boyfriend Ryan did to her in Miami, Liz finally came to terms with the fact that all her anger actually stemmed from having to attend art school with Asians.
As soon as she realized this, she felt all the hatred flood out of her and she called her father and said, “I love you dad!”
He said, “I love you back” and suddenly everything changed. She no longer wanted to express her emotions through her artwork, but rather share her happiness and good fortune with the world.
After tattooing her favorite Anne Geddes portraits on her arms, she set out to bridge the dreaded gap between Manhattan trust fund babies and Brooklyn trust fund babies with an annual fundraiser called, “I have lipstick on my teeth, you have lipstick on your teeth, we all share the same stockbroker and should be friends!”
Kerri Lisa
dont care
Kerri Lisa gracefully quit her job as an intern so she could return fulltime to her job as a bagel-getter for men with private planes. However she soon missed the drama of both her jobs, as well as the excitement that came from going to dinner with a group of girls and then leaving without paying.
She’s currently auditioning for another Bravo reality show about Galosh Girls. Those are girls who aspire to get into the competitive world of designer galoshes.
Kerri believes that the experience might be able to help her if she ever decides to open up a galoshes boutique in her boutique hotel.
Angela Pham
After realizing that launching a photography business pleased her strict parents, Angela Pham attempted to find a new way to disown herself. She quickly stopped promoting her photography and returned to her greatest past time — promoting herself. When she’s not secretly waitressing in Brooklyn, she’s hawking a line of nipple tassels that she makes out of discarded foreskin and the tears of Manhattan girls who made the fatal mistake to travel to Brooklyn.
She’s doing quite well and rather than quitting her waitressing job, she plans to spend her profits on a big girl gay. That’s a gay who comes bedazzled in feathers and catchphrases like, “you look hot gurl!!”
Claudia Martinez Reardon
Claudia meant it when she told Angela Pham that she’s a hard worker who always sees a project through to the end. That’s why she burned End of Century down after quitting. Tearfully she called her parents from jail and told them that she hopes they’d accept an insurance check in lieu of the $15,000 dollars she owed them.
While she resigned herself to stay in jail for the rest of her life as a punishment for indulging Chantal in a job, the Sucklord held a fundraiser to pay for a defense attorney.
In exchange for his kindess, Claudia helped him open up a gallery to showcase all his wonderful creations. Sometimes he thanks for her hard work and tells her to take a day off.
She gently holds the vial of End of Century ashes she wears dutifully around her neck and fondly recalls the one time Chantal drunkenly thanked her for almost doing her job right.
Chantal Chadwick
After struggling to find any kind of enjoyment by being employed, Chantal Chadwick followed through on her threat to Claudia and moved to Paris. Within moments of arriving in the city, she grew bored. Not only could she tell right away that she’d be in the top five of her yoga class, but someone also had the audacity to ask her to pay rent. Couldn’t they see she’s an artist of the mind. That she’s a woman who thinks beyond money and electric bills and all these trivial things that people without a true artist’s eye for a Lower East Side accessories store focus on
While rumors ran rampant that she’d gone deep into the underground Japanese modeling scene, Bravo can only confirm that she returned her Gallery Girls paycheck to them with a note that she didn’t understand what they sent her and she wouldn’t accept it.
Her aunt paid for the return postage.
The Twenty Most Ridiculous Lines From Gallery Girls
Gallery Girls, Bravo's eight-episode collage of vapidness, finished its first (and likely only) season last night. We will miss you so! This show was a disaster, not just because of its abject phoniness — the ostensibly "brand-new" gallery End of Century actually opened years ago, for example — but also because of its truly vile and baffling cast. There was Chantal, always slouching and complaining and looking exactly like Arya Stark from Game of Thrones and ending all her phrases with a vocal-fry grumble; her sidekick Claudia, who kept feebly insisting the first syllable of her name rhymed with how not saw. Angela, the world's attention-needingest human; Liz, the poor little rich girl whose casual racism was eclipsed only by her shimmery eye shadow; Amy, the bubbly drunk; and Maggie, whose head was always lolling around like her neck wasn't strong enough to support it and who seemed somehow fully unable to express a complete thought. Technically, the show also included Kerri. But no one cared about her.
Through it all, through the tears, the nipple tape, the artificial drama, the confusing stereotypes, and the endless internships, we were comforted by one through-line: These women said truly ridiculous things. Here are our twenty favorite ("favorite") lines from the season.
1. "I woke up, I did some yoga, I had a French press coffee, and I'm ready for work!" — Chantal, two hours late for work.
2. "Coriander is my favorite herb." — Angela, who pronounces the H.
3. "Are you really drinking Michelob Light? You're the love of my life!" — Drunk Amy.
4. "There are so many trees." — Maggie, describing Florida.
5. "I need some real coffee. This tastes like Folgers." — Chantal.
6. "I'm really inspired by moroseness … and cinema?" — Angela, describing her photography.
7. "Everyone runs and hides here because everyone's, like, quiet little Asian people and scared." — Liz, describing her School of Visual Arts classmates.
8. "Like, don't get béchamel sauce all over my clothes." — Angela.
9. "I get my hair done four times a week. It's New York!" — Sober Amy.
10. "This event is supposed to make me buzz worthy!" — Angela.
11. "[Silence.]" — Maggie, whenever she's asked a direct question.
12. "It's really just teetering on the precipice of moroseness. That's really what I love about my own photography." — Angela.
13. “You need one LAMD … a look-at-me device. Usually it’s my big hats or pink pants or nipples." — Angela, who is not exaggerating at all.
14. "I don't trust anything from someone who calls himself the Sucklord. His name is probably Steve." — Claudia.
15. "[Crying.] You need to get off the Adderall or something." — Chantal, to her "business partner" Claudia.
16. "I accidentally showed [my boyfriend]'s boss a picture of my vagina." — Chantal.
17. "My family will definitely be excited if I get a paying job; they've wanted me to have that forever." — Maggie.
18. "Your friend is a disgusting vile commoner creature." — Liz, to Maggie.
19. "Amy's apartment is large, expensive, and gaudy, just like Amy." — Angela.
20. "[Nothing.]" — Kerri. Remember Kerri? No? Yeah, no.
hope this gets renewed idgaf
Source 1
Source 2
You're welcome.
ps. can someone find that gif please?
Living in NYC and actually right by E.O.C... makes this show more entertaining!
Edited at 2012-10-03 02:47 pm (UTC)
-I can't believe people like Chantal and Angela exist (mostly Chantal)
-I felt bad for Maggie last epsiode because I understood the rejection. I did see what the gallery owner was talking about though when comparing her to Amy.
-I also agree that Maggie's bf/friends are jerks and screwed up at the club in Miami but is it really Liz's place to judge!? She went through rehab and bettered herself but that makes her better than everyone now?
-LOL at the last shot of Liz in the last episode her trying on new Louboutins while trying to call her dad.
Edited at 2012-10-03 02:46 pm (UTC)
Liz is a bitch. She also wears an ugly, permanent scowl.
Despise Chantal and Angela. Chantal can't possibly be a real human being and Angela, what you do isn't art. A toddler can take those same "oh so arty" pictures. You are just desperate to be an "it-girl" and have no desire to have actual talent or work hard to get there.
Also, Liz, you did drugs fairly heavily and admitted to stealing things from your parents. I don't blame your father for being a little weary right now of having a relationship with you.
I hate this show and yet, I love it and I need a S2.
I think the Frisky said Liz is the most self-righteous ex-addict which I think is the most hilarious and accurate description. Out of all the girls, Claudia annoys me the least but that's not saying much lol
I can't imagine any of these girls having a legitimate career from this show, besides Claudia or Kerri. I'm surprised any of them actually have jobs, they're awful. This is why I hate the gallery scene, it's all about ego.