"How we going to do this?"
– Carrie Underwood, to 12-year-old fan Chase, who asked the singer to be his first kiss, at her Louisville, Ky., tour stop
"Lip to lip."
– Chase, before getting his wish
"He's so excited about this win he can't contain himself."
– New mom Kristin Cavallari, who shared a shot of slumbering 7-week-old son Camden after dad Jay Cutler and his Chicago Bears's victory over the St. Louis Rams, on WhoSay
"I figured, 'Hey, I've been working out, I'm going on SNL, I might as well take my clothes off' … It would really be just irresponsible not to."
– Joseph Gordon-Levitt, defending his striptease and Magic Mike-style performance while hosting Saturday Night Live, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show
"After 18 years of breakups, makeups, beautiful twins and an unwavering love that provided some pretty damn good song lyrics, we are happy to announce that we are finally married!"
– Rocker Mark McGrath, who married longtime girlfriend Carin Kingsland, to PEOPLE
"May we make our flaws famous, and thus redefine the heinous."
– Lady Gaga, who posted unretouched photos of herself in a bra and underwear to inspire bravery and encourage fans to accept their bodies, on her Little Monsters website
"I would like to state for the record that I beat Jon Hamm in Words with Friends yesterday."
– Tina Fey, boasting about her victory over the Mad Men actor and 30 Rock guest star, to Entertainment Weekly
"I plan to be done. But my husband is kind of a wonder sperm kind of guy."
– Jennifer Garner, on having more kids with hubby Ben Affleck, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show
"I can't foresee myself being regular."
– Nicki Minaj, who has no plans of ditching her unique sense of style, to PEOPLE
"I wish people would stop spreading rumors that Charlize Theron and I are dating. It's starting to make Halle Berry jealous."
– Emmy winner Eric Stonestreet, jokingly addressing romance rumors, on Twitter
"First of all there is nothing more fun than swinging around a pole."
– Goldie Hawn, touting the benefits of pole dancing, on Anderson Live
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
Kristin and her snoozin' bb
JGL made the right choice
G A G A
I bet Tina plays QI and ZA
Nicki Peanut Minge
Goldie Hawn is a good stripper name already
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD! Prost to all of you getting your drink on at Oktoberfest in SF this weekend! :-)