Love notes arouse the mind. Red wine gets the blood flowing. Home-cooked dinners are thoughtful. Incense set the mood. Rose pedals and bubble baths are a nice touch. But when it comes to sealing the deal, nothing does the trick like the right slow jam. So before you invite your lover to lay down, make sure your playlist is set.
We got some Marvin Gaye, some Luther Vandross, a little Anita. We got some Ready for the World, some New Edition, some Minnie Ripperton, and 94 more songs to really set the party off right. The rest, though, is up to you. All we ask, is that in the climactic moment, you make her scream out, "Complex presents the 100 Slow Jams That Will Definitely Get You Laid."
100. R. Kelly "Feelin' On Your Booty" (2000)
Number 100. We're just breaking down the basics: what are you doing? You're feeling on her booty. Good. Get comfortable with that. Just keep cool. Wait, are you saying all of this out loud? Not cool, bruh. Not cool. You can't move on until you master the most beginner stages. Just refresh the page and start over.
99. Monica "For You I Will" (1997)
Album: Space Jam Original Soundtrack
A slow jam of epic proportions, yes. A top-ten ranking for Slow Jams Guaranteed to Get You Laid? 'Fraid not. Top-Ten Slow Jams Guaranteed to Get You Dry Humped? ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY!
98. Frank Ocean "Thinkin' About You" (2012)
Album: Channel Orange
You would do a lot better to put this version of Frank Ocean's song on in the bedroom, and not Joe Budden's "Novacane"-sampling "Ordinary Love Shit, Pt. 3." Just a tip.
97. Bill Withers "Use Me" (1972)
Album: Still Bill
Unconventional, yes. But you wanna get laid, don't you? Just go with Bill Withers. As Ladies Love Cool James once said, "conventional methods of making love kinda bore me."
96. Isley Brothers "Between the Sheets" (1983)
Album: Between the Sheets
There's a reason they call him Mr. Biggs. I don't know what that reason is, but I imagine it has something to do with his big heart/medical condition. Either way, women find this song very "sexy." So, you should try having "sex" to it.
95. Paula Abdul "Rush Rush" (1991)
Paula Abdul - she of the Laker Girls, of American Idol, of her own singing and dancing careers - will go down in history (in my head and heart, at least) as having sung the defining "get busy in a car" song, "Rush Rush." So if you're looking to get laid before you get to your posturepedic, pop in that Spellbound CD that you keep in your car for such special occasions, and rush, rush.
94. Tank "My Body" (2007)
Album: Sex, Love & Pain
Tank recently signed to Atlantic Records as part of the group TGT, with Ginuwine and Tyrese. The good people who monitor the world's weather systems have put out an international flood watch; they are expected water levels to rise substantially.
93. Playa "Cheers 2 U" (1998)
Album: Cheers 2 U
Cheers 2 U for making it this far. That means you've already gotten laid seven times, right? Well, consult your physician. Too much sex in such a short amount of time can be dangerous for your health, and we're just trying to look out for you. #BeSafe
92. Avant "Makin' Good Love" (2002)
When you want to do when you came to do, there's really only one option for play-by-play: Avant. He describes the action so perfectly, you'd think he was Al Michaels in a du-rag, Mike Breen with dance moves, Marv Albert with harmony, and Joe Buck if he had soul. You could always score, but isn't it better with the right call?
91. Pressha "Splackavellie" (1998)
Album: Don't Get It Twisted
Look, just let Splackavellie do the work: "Tell me what kind of superman would make you feel good with his mouth / And kiss you from your earring to your bellychain, then go down a little further man (It's all right) / Baby ain't no shame." Not to mention, "Tell me what kind of superman would take you in his bedroom baby and hit you with some front, back, and side to side / Like hydraulics on a stormy night and break you off somethin proper like." S-P-L-A-C-K-A-V-E-L-L-I-E!
90. Marvin Gaye "I Want You" (1976)
Album: I Want You
We're not putting "Let's Get It On" or "Sexual Healing" on this list, because clearly that's not working for you guys.
89. Drake f/ The-Dream "Shut It Down" (2010)
Album: Thank Me Later
If there was an instruction manual on how to get girls home, it would read like this: 1. Get Drake and The-Dream to sing together on a song. 2. Play said song. 3. Make love to said song. 4. Rinse and repeat.
88. Keri Hilson "Make Love" (2009)
Album: In a Perfect World...
This is that syrup on your pancakes that your doctor said you shouldn't have too much of because of your weak heart. So, um, there's that.
87. Destiny's Child "No, No, No (Part 1)" (1997)
Album: Destiny's Child
A sexy song about wanting love... and the song's called "No No No." I'd say that girls are enigmas because they'll bend it over like question marks, but then again, these girls think that guys are backwards too: "You say no, no, no, no, no; when it's really, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." So if the guys and girls are both off, wouldn't everyone be on the same page? Eh, too much thinking. Let's get to bed.
86. Jagged Edge f/ Ashanti "Put a Little Umph In It" (2007)
Album: Baby Makin' Project
This is a choice cut off of Jagged Edge's Baby Makin' Project album. That reminds me of a science experiment I've been meaning to take care of: if you have a baby and it grows into a toddler that you name JD, does it automatically become Jermaine Dupri's identical twin? Someone let me know.
85. John Legend "Ordinary People" (2004)
Album: Get Lifted
What's amazing about "Ordinary People," is that it has the opposite effect of its lyrics: "This time, we'll take it slow." Um, no. Those drawers drop when the first piano key is touched. And somehow the message of responsibility and care transfers over to the guy who clicks play on iTunes. Press play and it's on, so to speak. John Legend, you're a genius!
84. The-Dream "Put it Down" (2009)
Album: Love vs. Money
It should be said: The-Dream's Love vs. Money album in its entirety can absolutely get you laid. (You know, should this list fail, you could just combine love and money: hire a streetwalker to get laid on you.)
83. Aaliyah "If Your Girl Only Knew" (1996)
Album: One in a Million
If you're sneaking around on the down low, then get low down to this Aaliyah masterpiece, because I believe the saying goes, "Cheating is the key to a girl's heart."
82. Melanie Fiona "Give It To Me Right" (2009)
Album: The Bridge
Throwing this song on is such a power move, like when you sit behind your boss' desk and kick your feet up on their desk, and rub a cigar out on their stupid face, and then hope to God not to get fired and/or arrested.
81. Mariah Carey "We Belong Together" (2005)
Album: The Emancipation of Mimi
Wanna get laid? Show her your soft side by putting on Mariah's "We Belong Together," sing a couple of choice lyrics - preferably the ones about Bobby Womack and Babyface, to show that you have a good understanding of R&B - and cry like a baby after the song's over. If you do it right, she'll pity-sleep with you.
80. Shai "If I Ever Fall in Love" (1992)
Album: If I Ever Fall in Love
"And if I ever fall in love again, I will be sure that the lady is a friend," said the four guys from Shai in 1992, having never heard of Facebook and not realizing that everyone would be their 'friend' in the future.
79. Mya f/ Sisqo "It's All About Me" (1998)
While the idea of "all me" can be construed as getting laid by yourself, this song - with all the sexual chemistry of, well, Mya and Sisqo - is actually a surefire way to get two engines in gear. Although hopefully not these two. Gross.
78. Joe "The Love Scene" (1997)
Album: All That I Am
The chorus: "All I want to do right now is love her down / I don't give a damn about who hears the sound." Yeah! Fuck the neighbors! Just...not literally. Unless you discuss limits. Groups are always tricky.
77. Troop "All I Do is Think of You" (1989)
If there's one cover to get you underneath her covers, it's TROOP - or Total Respect of Other People - and their take of the Jackson 5 song. By the way, if you're thinking, "Hey, what about the B5 version? I like that one better!" then you're way too young to be reading this list. Leave computer love to the adults.
76. Justin Timberlake "Take it From Here" (2002)
Not long before this song came out, Justin Timberlake was dating Britney Spears, and she was telling all of the magazines that she was a virgin. SURE, OKAY, CASE CLOSED. This song drips sex; you think Britney wasn't?
75. Teddy Pendergrass "Turn Off the Lights" (1979)
Not only is this a super-sexy song, destined to put you and your lover in the mood, sure to set endorphins in motion, guaranteed to seal the deal... but it's also ecologically thoughtful. Please turn off the lights. Please unplug your computer when you're about to make love. Please keep the air conditioner at 78 degrees when you're getting it on. Please don't run a half-full dish washer when you're feeling freaky.
74. Jodeci "Pump It Back" (1995)
Album: The Show, the After Party, the Hotel
#ReebokBack #ReebokBack #ReebokBack #ReebokBack #ReebokBack
73. Isaac Hayes "The Look of Love" (1970)
Album: ...To Be Continued
The best thing you can do tonight is keep silent as a mute. Let Issac Hayes narrate your evening, because if your lady heard this come out of your mouth, "Let this be the start of so many groovy nights like this / Let's take a lover's vow and seal this thing with a kiss," she'd laugh your out of her apartment. But when Isaac says it? You get the last laugh.
72. Toni, Tony, Tone "Lay Your Head On My) Pillow" (1993)
Album: Sons of Soul
In a different context, the words "lay your head on my pillow and just relax" might be terrifying. (Imagine a clown saying that, for instance.) But here, they are soothing. So, stop worrying so much!
71. Whitney Houston "Saving All My Love For You" (1985)
Album: Whitney Houston
Like Whitney, this song has innocence and a rawness all in one package. Put this on, and all that love you've been saving... will soon be spent.
70. Floetry "Say Yes" (2002)
This is one of those instances where British women are definitely suggesting absolutely filthy things in their lyrics, but it sounds perfectly fine because of their accent.
69. SWV "Weak" (1992)
Album: It's About Time
When it's okay to make yourself feel like a man while acknowledging that a woman is weak: playing this SWV classic and you're bed-bound. When it's NOT okay to make yourself feel like a man while acknowledging that a woman is weak: during the Olympics, while watching a romantic comedy, at a funeral, at a buffet, at a high school reunion, during surgery, or really anytime ever.
68. Ginuwine "So Anxious" (1998)
Album: 100% Ginuwine
I know this from personal experience: when you're feeling anxious, you need to remember to breathe slowly and steadily. Don't engage in any strenuous physical activity. Like sex. Enjoy the rest of this list!
67. Aaron Hall "I Miss You" (1993)
Album: The Truth
If it seems like a lot of the R&B singers of the early 1990s sound alike, it's because -- for a time -- that was the only stimulus the female reproductive system responds to. It's science. Open a book!
66. Lenny Williams "Cause I Love You" (1978)
Album: Spark of Love
Lenny was one of the members of the legendary funk band Tower of Power, which is a pretty good euphenism, if you ask me. Did you ask me? You should ask me. Ask me.
65. Somethin' For The People "My Love is the Shhh!" (1997)
Album: This Time It's Personal
This song is the epitome of the mid-1990's, from the Timbaland-esque bounce to the group being named, Something for the People, to it being composed of a guy and a girl. And I love it. In fact, you're sorely mistaken if you think I won't be using 90's terms like "My love is the shhh," "You better represent," "The bomb, baby," and "Break you off something" on future first dates.
64. Mariah Carey "Can't Let Go" (1991)
Okay, this song is guaranteed to get you laid. Mariah wraps her lips around those words, and it's just perfect. But you know what won't get you laid? Singing along.
63. Robin Thicke "Lost Without U" (2006)
Album: Evolution of Robin Thicke
While Robin Thicke's "Lost Without U" could be possibly be a tiny bit fast to technically be called a slow jam, your girl doesn't care about this tempo - she cares about yours, so shut up and slow yourself down.
62. Prince "Insatiable" (1991)
Album: Diamonds and Pearls
Prince's voice climbs up to the heavens, a jazzy flute of a falsetto that just keeps rising and rising. When you're with your woman, just make sure it's her that hits the high notes.
61. Musiq Soulchild "Love" (2000)
This call intersection of emotion and devotion by Musiq (formerly Musiq Soulchild) is strictly for the romantics out there. As opposed to The Romantics, the American new wave band from Detroit, who are most-famous for their song, "Talking In Your Sleep." Though I would love to hear them cover this song. Romantics Musiq.
60. Keith Sweat "Make It Last Forever" (1996)
Album: Keith Sweat
On his hit "Slow Jamz," Twista said, "Let me get your sheets wet, listening to Keith Sweat." Do you really just want to let Twista do it? No? Then get up off your fat ass and make it happen. Honestly. Put the work in and maybe you'll see some results.
59. Janet Jackson "I Get Lonely" (1997)
Album: The Velvet Rope
Ms. Jackson, if you're nasty.
58. Adina Howard "T-Shirt & Panties" (1997)
Album: Booty Call Soundtrack
This was on the Booty Call soundtrack. "Say no more," you say, as you turn up your stereo and close the door...and then you press pause and step back into the hallway, because you realize you were in your bedroom by yourself. "I'm going to make a phone call," you continue, to no one in particular.
57. Changing Faces "Stroke U Up" (1994)
Album: Changing Faces
There's nothing to consider here: Changing Faces' "Stroke U Up" will get you laid. It'll get you laid in 1994, in 2004, in 2014. There's no question about it. But when you're in post-coital conversation, here's a little topic to discuss: how exactly did the conversation go when R.Kelly wrote "Stroke U Up" for two young girls - friends since high school, who in looking for a big break, worked at a dermatologist's office by day, and recorded demos by night?
56. Luther Vandross "Here and Now" (1994)
Luther's voice is like butter: perfect in any situation, so good it's unhealthy. Spread that butter all over your lady; smooth it out. No better snack than butter in the bedroom. You know, maybe I'm talking about butter too much. It's because my girl is toast :(
55. The-Dream "Turnt Out" (2010)
Album: Love King
If there's anyone who knows about getting laid, it's the self-proclaimed Love King, The-Dream. Just ask any of his ex-wives.
54. Usher "Nice N Slow" (1998)
Album: My Way
"Nice N Slow" is perfect for two scenarios: one, obviously you're going to kill it in the bedroom. Two, you're going to murder karaoke. And that means only one thing: you're going to have a lot of explaining to do when you eventually go to jail.
53. Maxwell "...Til the Cops Come Knocking" (1996)
Album: Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite
If you're smart, you'll use Maxwell's "Til the Cops Come Knockin'" as your entrance music as you make your way into the bedroom. If you're really smart, you'll use Maxwell's "Til the Cops Come Knockin'" as your entrance music as you make your way into any room: boardroom, bathroom, used car showroom, etc. What? I THOUGHT GIRLS LOVED A MAN'S SENSE OF HUMOR!
52. R. Kelly "Bump N Grind" (1994)
Album: 12 Play
Perfect. Absolutely perfect. ...Aside from the double-negative: "I don't see nothing wrong." Does that mean he really does see something wrong? But he means, "I don't see anything wrong," right? But maybe he means what he says? Or is he playing games? Great. Now that's all I'm thinking about. Mood ruined.
51. Case "Missing You" (2001)
Album: Open Letter
Case's "Missing You," is an honest portrayal of regret. A heart-wrenching trip down memory lane. A true, open look at a relationship gone wrong and realized too late. Or, if it were a dark comedy, a kidnapping.
50. Beyonce "Speechless" (2003)
Album: Dangerously in Love
We're about halfway through this list together; I just want to take the moment to say you're doing great, that you're so good at this, that you're...no, no, just...please, ow-ow-ow-ow, okay, just stop. Um. Uh...this doesn't happen often. Let me just grab a towel and, at the next slide, in a couple of hours, we'll try again.
49. Freddie Jackson "You Are My Lady" (1985)
Album: Rock Me Tonight
Wanna win a girl over? Call her a lady. Better yet, "My Lady." But not "M'Lady." That's bad. Don't refer to her as "Girl" or "Woman" or "Bitch." And it helps if you can sing like Freddie Jackson, but let's take it one step at a time.
48. Ready For The World "Love You Down" (1986)
Album: Long Time Coming
Hm. "Long Time Coming" seems like a very on-the-nose album title for a song on this list, doesn't it? Do you get it? You don't get it. You're not getting it.
7. Force M.D.'s "Tender Love" (1985)
This song will get you so laid. SO LAID. Not just laid. Like mind-blowing, earth-shattering, life-changing laid if you play this song. JUST DON'T SHOW THE MUSIC VIDEO, because any sexiness and good will and momentum will evaporate immediately. So do yourself - and Force MD's, too, because that video had to be a death knell - and buy a copy of the song.
46. Jill Scott "All I" (2007)
Album: The Real Thing: Words and Sounds Vol. 3
Jill Scott whispers over this heartbeat, a pitter-patter tip toe voice that won't wake the baby. She sounds real sweet and innocent; typical neo-soul Jill Scott! But then it's like the chorus is, "All I dream about is making love." You know, it's always the ones you least expect.
45. En Vogue "Don't Let Go (Love)" (1996)
Album: Set it Off
Not sure what kind of night you're in for? Perhaps you should cue up En Vogue's "Don't Let Go," which could either be taken as the girls pleading for their lovers to stay forever, or on the other hand, demanding their lovers get in shackles and get ready for some "heartbreaking, soul shaking love." It's really a fine line that these fine ladies are walking. It's a guarantee that you'll get laid to this song, but no promises on who's in charge.
44. Leon Haywood "I Want'a Do Something Freaky to You" (1975)
Dr. Dre and Snoop's "Nothin' but a G Thang" is nothing to play in the bedroom, but Leon Haywood's original -- an opus of moans and strings -- will definitely set a mood. It's as if Donna Summer's "Love to Love Ya Baby" was brought straight home from the discotheque to really get wild. Now, that's freaky.
43. Usher "Can U Handle It?" (2004)
Usher asks "Can you handle it?" and "I'm willing to tell you everything I let stand between us." WHOA WHOA WHOA. Too much commitment, Ursh. Luckily this song is filled with all the high notes and airy chords and wind chimes and whispers needed to erase anything resembling a promise. Phew.
42. Tevin Campbell "Shhh" (1993)
Album: I'm Ready
Tevin sounds exactly like Power Generation-era Prince, if only Prince said things like, "I'd rather do you after school like some homework -- am I getting you hot?" Shhh, Tevin. Just sing the chorus.
41. Anita Baker "Sweet Love" (1986)
Real women don't want to babysit boys. Real women want to be taken care of by real men. Real women say miss me with that EDM. Real women want Adult Contemporary. So if you're smart, save the Pitbull, and give her some Anita Baker.
40. Babyface "Every Time I Close My Eyes" (1997)
Album: The Moment
What is it about the sound of water flowing that just gets the blood moving in the right direction? Because as soon as this song starts...well, actually, maybe that was the sound of a rattlesnake. NB: Rattlesnakes are more scary than sexy.
39. Dru Hill "I Should Be" (2002)
Album: Dru World Order
Dru Hill lays out the game plan for the ladies out there who are not happy: "Step 1. Walk through that door. Step 2. Tell him he's not like he was before / You don't love him anymore. Now 3. Come to me. Step 4. I love you more." And in a perfect world, those guys who've mistreated the ladies lose them to you. But sadly, this never happens outside of a music video. So how could we include it on this list, you ask?? Cause someone's getting laid tonight; it just happens to be the other guy. Great song though.
38. 112 "Cupid" (1997)
This song would be higher on the list, probably, if not for 112's Slim opening up the second verse by saying, "Girl, when I ask you to trust me / That doesn't mean that I'm gonna cheat on you." So, here's a homemade cure-all: schedule a cough or a moan or something to cover up those lyrics, and then you should be good.
37. Cassie "Me & U" (2006)
"Me & U" has long been rumored to be Cassie's 2006 ode to blowjobs, but there's yet to be confirmation, and unfortunately, no published study on any correlation between the song and getting head. So we leave it to you, loyal Complex readers: source journalism!
36. K-Ci & JoJo "All My Life" (1998)
Album: Love Always
This song came out in 1998, when I was in eighth grade, and I remember dancing arms-length apart from some girl, thinking about making a move. Knowing what I know now, given the chance, I still wouldn't do anything, because I don't mess around with eighth grade girls. YOU READING THIS, COPS? Cool. Anyway, this song works great on adult women.
35. Sade "No Ordinary Love" (1992)
Album: Love Deluxe
In 1992, you could be wearing Zubaz, drinking Crystal Pepsi, coming back from a Van Halen (or Van Hagar really, amiright???) concert, and still have an excellent chance to have tantric sex that very night. Why? Because you had the good sense to throw on Sade's anthem to dedication, "No Ordinary Love." And that still holds true today, 20 years later! ...as long as you're not anywhere near Zubaz, Crystal Pepsi, or Van Halen.
34. Avant "Read Your Mind" (2003)
Album: Private Room
"I stepped in the club in your hood / I slowly turned left, and there you stood" is a terrible way to make a first impression -- absolutely terrible -- but Avant redeems himself. He really does! He's a grower, not a shower, you know? Just give him a few minutes to warm himself up. Don't judge a book by the first two lines!
33. Bobby Womack "If You Think You're Lonely Now" (1981)
Album: The Poet
Bobby Womack's 1981 powerful "If You Think You're Lonely Now" is the soulful sound of make-up sex. So maybe it's best that you engage your girl in a silly argument, before bedtime. Or, if you don't have a girlfriend, why not pick a fight with a random lady at a bar? Head back to your place, throw the stereo on, and let a Rock and Roll Hall of Famer mediate as you procreate.
32. New Edition "Can You Stand the Rain?" (1988)
Album: Heart Break
Smooth vocals, glimmers of bells and a cracking tambourine: welcome to the quiet storm. Bring a poncho and your wellies; try not to get too wet out there. #sex
31. Miguel "Adorn" (2012)
Album: Art Dealer Chic Vol. 1
Not an overtly sexual song, Miguel's "Adorn" has taken hearts and souls by storm this summer. It's a track dedicated to adoring the other, to complimenting the other, to trusting the other, to defending the other, to thinking of the other, and most of all, loving the other. So, yeah. You know, if love gets you laid, sure.
30. Mariah Carey "Always Be My Baby" (1996)
Fun fact: this song got me through puberty. WHAT A FUN FACT, GLAD I SHARED, LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS.
29. LSG "My Body" (1997)
Sometimes the message gets lost in translation. Well, Gerald Levert, Keith Sweat, and Johnny Gill are here to get the point across: "My body all over your body, babe / Your body all over my body, babe / My body all over your body / It's your body, baby / My body all over your body, babe / Your body all over my body, babe / My body all over your body / Oh, it's your body babe."
28. Omarion "O" (2005)
Make fun of Omarion all you want. (We will.) But playing this song ahead of lovemaking is like finding an incredible treasure behind a heavy door by using a secret key that you want to tell all of your friends about, but then you remember that the key is Omarion so you just keep your mouth shut and never tell anyone about the key or the door or anything in general ever again.
27. Ginuwine "In Those Jeans" (2003)
Album: The Senior
There are three proven ways to immediately get into any woman's jeans: 1. Be a tailor. 2. Be Ginuwine. 3. Play Ginuwine's music and let him work on your behalf.
26. Aaliyah "I Care for You" (2001)
I don't know that this song was meant to be sexy, or even sexual, but it is. It's about a girl comforting a friend, but with the slow pacing, and the spare piano hums, and Aaliyah's float-like-a-butterfly technique...something moves.
25. Janet Jackson "Any Time, Any Place" (1993)
Anytime, anyplace, huh? Hmmm. (Note: while Complex doesn't explicitly encourage couples to attempt intercourse in public libraries, police cruisers, funeral parlors, Augusta National Golf Club, St. Patrick's Cathedral, college graduations, or voting booths, Complex will not deny you the chance to bring along a speaker system and see what happens!)
24. Ciara "Promise" (2006)
Album: Ciara: The Evolution
Not only is the song great; not only does Ciara look incredible in the video. But it is incredibly helpful when you need help maintaining a breathing rhythm. Inhale, exhale. Not too fast, not too slow. One sec, I just need...to...make a phone call.
23. TLC "Red Light Special" (1995)
T-Boz, Left Eye and Chilli believe in Women's Empowerment. And by women's empowerment, they mean that if you love your woman, then you'll LOVE your woman! And by loving your woman, they mean you better reciprocate. Call it crazy. Call it sexy. Call it cool. Just don't call it a night.
22. 112 f/ Lil' Zane "Anywhere" (1999)
Album: Room 112
Places you can have sex, according to 112: in the shower, in the hallway (making your way back to the bed), on the kitchen floor. But don't stop there. Your home is bursting with places to get it on: in the chimney, on the toilet, inside the stove. The possibilities for sex are endless -- if you truly believe in yourself, you really can do it anywhere.
21. Jodeci "Freek'n You" (1995)
Album: The Show, the After Party, the Hotel
Jodeci, consisting of brothers Cedric & Joel Hailey and brother Donald & Dalvin DeGrate, (K-Ci, Jo-Jo, Devante Swing, and Mr. Dalvin) were all born in the United States of America, but in addition to English, they speak the language of love: "Every freaking night and every freaking day, I wanna freak you baby, in every freaking way / Every freaking day and every freaking night, I wanna freak you girl, your body's so freaking tight." And if you don't understand that, then get the hell out of our country.
20. Joe "I Wanna Know" (2000)
Album: My Name is Joe
For as long as porn has been around, people have fret over the idea that there is no equivalent for women: too crude, too skewed for men. (In the case of "Fifty Shades of Grey," too poorly women.) Well, 1:42 into this song, there's a eureka moment: it is the exact time code that Joe says, "Baby, I'm the kind of man who shows concern. Yes, I do."
19. Prince "Purple Rain" (1984)
Album: Purple Rain
"Purple Rain" is that perfect, soaring accompaniment for laying your lady down in slow motion. "Purple Rain" is that perfect, soaring accompaniment for loving your lady down in slow motion. And "Purple Rain" is that perfect, soaring accompaniment for leaving your lady when you're done. Just like Prince.
18. Lil' Jon f/ Usher and Ludacris "Lovers and Friends" (2004)
Album: Crunk Juice
That's right. Somehow, Lil' Jon created a super-sexy mood that wasn't ruined by numerous "YEAH"-s and "OKAY"-s and "WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK, HO, Y'ALL PUSSY LIKE BITCHES"-s. Maybe it has something to do with Usher. I dunno. Maybe.
17. Kelly Rowland "Motivation" (2011)
Album: Here I Am
According to Wikipedia, motivation is: the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal and elicits, controls, and sustains certain goal directed behaviors. Motivation may be rooted in a basic need to minimize physical pain and maximize pleasure, or it may include specific needs such as eating and resting, or for a desired object. Similarly, Kelly Rowland's "Motivation" arouses orgasms to action.
16. R. Kelly "Ignition" (2003)
Album: Chocolate Factory
THIS ENTIRE SONG IS ABOUT MAKING LOVE IN AND TO A CAR. (And yet, nothing about sticking a banana in the tail pipe? C'mon, R-ruh.)
15. Ashanti f/ Robin Thicke "Things You Make Me Do" (2008)
Album: The Declaration
This beat alone is worth taking someone home for, cause it sure isn't about the lyrics. For those interested in what Robin Thicke is saying, remember: he's happily married. And for those interested in what Ashanti's whispering, remember: her mother still calls herself Ashanti's "Momager." But that beat? Like two keyboards just had sex.
14. Barry White "I've Got So Much to Give" (1972)
Album: I've Got So Much To Give
A slow-swinging groove, with a saxophone dipping and strings soaring; this is that love-making riddim. And Barry White's just building, building, building from a rumble to a roar and then back down to a whisper -- as much a whisper as a grizzly bear can muster, as he says "let your love flow, don't be afraid...don't be afraid." And eight minutes in, just as you're coming down from this love rollercoaster, a flute appears.
13. Case f/ Foxy Brown and Mary J. Blige "Touch Me, Tease Me" (1996)
There' something about Case's 1996 banger, "Touch Me, Tease Me." Maybe it's the slowed-down sample of Schoolly D's "PSK What Does it Mean?" Maybe it's the sound of Mary J. Blige begging you not to stop; she's about to explode on the hook. Whatever it is, this song will definitely get your lady grunting like Foxy Brown.
12. Aaliyah f/ Tank "Come Over" (2001)
We've all been there: the clock says way-too-late, but you're lonely (or...well, you need to see someone). So, you send a text to a long-dormant contact in your phone; a hail mary, if there ever was one. You're not desperate; you're just...okay, maybe you're desperate. But the way Aaliyah sings it here, it sounds dignified.
11. Bootsy Collins "I'd Rather Be With You" (1976)
Album: Stretchin' Out in Bootsy's Rubber Band
Perfect for the girl who just wants to funk all night. Not to be lost in Bootsy Collins' fat bassline, or the extremely sweaty and catchy melody used later in Adina Howard's smash "Freak Like Me," is Bootsy himself talking that talk at the end of the song: "You got me. I'm coming at ya. Get ready. I'm gonna stick my love in your eye, baby. You can see me coming, baby, just comin' all over you."
10. Jeremih "Birthday Sex" (2009)
Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate major holidays, like Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving, or any ritual they feel has ties to Paganism. This includes birthdays. I bet if Jehovah's Witnesses knew about birthday sex, they'd change their hard stance into a HARD stance.
9. D'Angelo "Untitled (How Does It Feel)" (2000)
If the mere mention of D'Angelo's name makes girls' pants drop, why isn't this song number one, you ask? Because "Untitled (How Does it Feel)" is, according to D'Angelo himself, about his grandmother's cooking. And while this track is sure to get a lady in the mood, the last thing I want to think about in the bedroom is each member of my extended family at Thanksgiving, taking turns at Grandma's apple pie.
8. Minnie Riperton "Every Time He Comes Around" (1974)
Album: Perfect Angel
This song came out in 1974, two years after Minnie gave birth to her only child, daughter Maya Rudolph. So, while these smoldering four minutes somehow didn't lead to any actual baby-making for Ms. Riperton, perhaps you'll have more proactive results. (Well, you know, as long as you're ready for a big step. Like, do you know how much time and effort and love it takes to raise a child? Maybe you should really sit down and get your ducks in order before you make such a hasty decision.)
7. Trey Songz "Panty Droppa (Intro) / Neighbors Know My Name" (2009)
Nothing says sex (or murder, for that matter) like screaming out your partner's name. So if you're gonna kill it tonight, make sure you put on some Trey Songz. For the neighbors' sake.
6. Silk "Freak Me" (1993)
Album: Lose Control
You know how, in a lot of slow jams, there will always be the super-deep-voice guy who breaks the fourth wall with a super-serious monologue? You know how that's the sexiest part? Well, that's this entire song.
5. Keith Sweat "Nobody" (1996)
Album: Keith Sweat
If confidence is essential to closing the deal in any business, then consider Keith Sweat like Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross. "Who can love you like me? Nobody. Who can sex you like me? Nobody. Who can treat you like me now, baby? Nobody. Nobody, baby. Nobody." ABC. Always be closing. Even when you're trying to get her open.
4. Brian McKnight "Anytime" (1997)
Yes, Brian McKnight always knows exactly what to say to women to get them in the mood.
3. J. Holiday "Bed" (2007)
Album: Back of My Lac
"Bed" is the perfect blueprint for navigating the end of the night. J. Holiday is the equivalent of the 80's-movie-friend who seemingly knows everything about girls, agrees to secretly assist you on your date, and relays all the sweet nothings for you to whisper in her ear. Or maybe The-Dream is that friend, since he wrote the song? Either way, just follow the instructions, dummy.
2. Boyz II Men "I'll Make Love to You" (1994)
We all know about Pavlov's experiments. He would ring a bell, and then bring a dog its food. Ring the bell, here's the food. Ring the bell, here's the food. Bell, food, bell, food. At a certain point, Pavlov noticed that the dog would begin salivating as soon as the bell rang. Well, with this song, women have been classically conditioned to...um...you get the drift.
1. Ginuwine "Pony" (1996)
Album: Ginuwine...The Bachelor
This song oozes sex; be safe, wrap a lubricated condom on your Beats headphones. With that Budwiser-Frog Timbaland beat, and—sure—those Ginuwine vocals, this song is absolutely positively guaranteed to get you laid. You know, with a partner...or even by yourself. Honestly, if you put this on and it still ends up an uneventful evening, it's your own damn fault.