ONTD

Angela “Big Ang” Raiola busted out from her side appearance on Mob Wives to land her very own show. The Staten Island Fairy who keeps it cool has an extremely loyal fan base, tattoo dedications anyone, and I’m sure said fans are excited for the release of her upcoming book, Bigger is Better.

The New York Daily News got a sneak preview of the tome in which Big Ang shares some advice on how one can genuinely enjoy house arrest. Angela has a past with the law and she knows first hand how to party if you find yourself Lindsay Lohaned.

1. Hire a trainer. Mine came every week and made me sweat. Loved the trainer; hated the workouts. But they did help me burn off a lot of nervous energy and kept me from going bats — crazy.

2. Mark the experience. Cari-Ann came over with her ink and needles once, and we had a little at-home tattoo party. She gave some of us new tats on our toes of ladybugs and cherries. Of course, we had to open a few bottles of Opus One to dull the pain.

3. Bring the party to you. I should say “parties.” We had a New Year’s Eve party at my place, and everyone came with bottles of champagne and platters of food. I’m sure the Feds enjoyed watching us have a great time from their van down the block. We toasted the New Year, which would bring my freedom. We kept the party going until the next day, and the day after that. What else was I gonna do? Roll into a ball and cry?

4. Have sleepovers. It was like being back in junior high, inviting all the girls to come sleep over to drink, eat, and talk about boys.




5. Draw the blinds. I was so sick of staring at those four walls, I opened all the blinds and curtains. I’d walk around in the house wearing whatever (or not wearing much of anything). It didn’t occur to me that someone might be watching. My neighbor across the street had been tuning in to my front windows like a TV set. I was his personal reality TV show. I guess I might’ve been kind of entertaining in my daily fashion show (I tried on a lot of outfits to kill the time). So this psycho creep started putting love letters in my mailbox, along with little gifts. I had no idea who was sending them, and the letters freaked me out. But, since I was being watched by the Feds, too, a cop was always nearby. I wasn’t scared the creep would do anything. I did draw the blinds, though.



6. Build a strong fence. The one time I violated my house arrest was totally by accident. We had a dog at the time, Joey. That poor dog was going stir-crazy, too. The kids took him on walks, and we put him out in the yard. But he wanted to run. Anyway, one day I open the front door to let someone in, and Joey nosed his way around my legs. He took off like a shot. I said, “Oh, s—,” and ran after him. I was in the moment. I didn’t think about what I was doing. But sure enough, the alarm went off, and the next thing I know, a cop car pulls up alongside me on the street as I’m running after the dog.



You can pre-order a copy of the book via Amazon with all this helpful advice. In the summary for Bigger is Better readers are told they can expect:

Everything about Angela “Big Ang” Raiola is larger than life: her lips, her 36JJ breasts, and especially her personality! In a lifestyle guide as genuine and fun as Big Ang herself, the star of VH1’s Mob Wives, called the show’s “den mother” by the New York Times, serves up the hilarious and poignant wisdom she’s learned while running her bar, raising her family, and dating made men. Big Ang has rules to live by for beauty, food, family, friendship, and more.

My favorite part of the tease via Amazon? This:

I was on vacation with my family in the Catskills when out of nowhere, this bat flies right into my chest and then falls splat on the ground. Turned out, he died on impact.

Now that’s a bat who know how to tap out in style!

Starcasm