"Lana Del Rey’s ‘National Anthem’ Video Takes A Dump On JFK And Jackie’s Graves"

Controversial adult contemporary star Lana Del Rey is back with a new music video for her song “National Anthem,” and it’s got all the bloody melodrama we’ve come to expect from her, with a side of historical inaccuracy!

In the newly released, much-teasered clip (do music videos really need trailers?), the performance-averse singer enlists rapper A$AP Rocky to play a young, black, baby-faced version of John F. Kennedy opposite her collagen-and-scary-nails enhanced Jackie. Viewed in Instagram-vision, the pair frolic on the White House lawn and do sex things in front of their kids while materialistic lyrics serve to undermine the idealized vision many had (and still have) of Camelot. Whether or not Ms. Del Rey actually intended her ode to money to be ironic is up for debate, but I am dubious. Never underestimate a starlet’s sincere desire to be bought diamonds and taken to the Hamptons!

They do this until JFK Rocky gets assassinated as dead as any black guy who managed to get elected president in the 1960s would have been, filling the prerequisite minimum of one death per video that Lana Del Rey instituted after Ray from Girls told her that death was a way deep subject for Art. And it’s twice as long as a normal music video, because that is also Art.
There are a lot of “themes” and “ideas” here that LDR probably wants folks to write about, not limited to but including: is she Jackie, Marilyn, or both? Can a girl ever “combine” those two imaginary female archetypes into one single, flesh-and-blood human? Does great love always end in death? Wouldn’t it be cool if we had a black president? Is that a bump-it, or just an excellent blow-out? Is “he was like this hybrid, this mix, of a man who couldn’t contain himself,” a grammatically proper sentence?

…And now I think I’ve addressed them all. Oh, and Marilyn Manson did it better.

o. Racist imo.