ONTD

he said he's working on it ok juno

Did you even watch the video? I think he made some pretty valid points.

I'm glad I'm not scared to be alone. Like if I meet someone that I really like and want to be with, that's great, but my happiness will never rest on it and it's not something that will ever make me feel like my life is lacking or anything.

mte fuck tavi tbh

and why's that

I was the opposite actually, I was really quiet and mopey when I was heavier and became more loud when I lost weight. But I haven't heard any other girls irl talk about their experiences so you could be right overall

I have seen that before in girls I've known but I'm pretty much the opposite. At least in public spaces anyway.

well people think being pretty gives you license to be dumb/have a lame personality, because at least you're pretty, right? if you're not considered attractive you need to have some other ~~redeeming qualities. i mean, it's total bull shit, but that's how people think. also people tend to compensate for their insecurities, and being super funny and loud may be a way to cover up feeling insecure about being overweight, or finding another venue for people to like you. either way, better to have a great personality because looks fade.

I'm heavy and somehow my brain has decided that like... I can have one flaw. Being heavy is my one flaw. So I can't leave the house wearing my glasses, I can't go out and meet friends without any makeup on, my hair always needs to look decent, I can't be a bitch or in a bad mood or do anything stupid because that would give me more than one flaw and.... I haven't worked out what I'm so afraid of, if I do have more than one flaw, but yeah. My mind, jesus.

i was definitely like that as a teen, super abrasive and always making a scene because i was so incredibly insecure about my body and i wanted to be noticed for ANYTHING else. but i sort of grew out of that as i have gotten older and don't give a shit about (most) people's opinions anymore, and things are much better

I'm... ugh... overweight but not really "fat" as such... and I'm just a sarcastic bitch. But then again I also don't have a lot of friends so....

I used to be fat, and I was the exact same personality wise than I am now. Nothing changed.

So pretty much i've always been a reserved, quiet, but sarcastic person.

This is mostly true. Fat girls are never allowed to be objects of desire, so there are only so many options for them to be socially accepted. Being funny is one of them.

I'm fat too, babe, and whatever. If people don't like me because of it then fuck those people.

Well, Kathy Najimy said "When you're not blond and thin, you come up with a personality real quick," and I always found it to be true.

lol saving this gif

Lol, you know the law of the land xD

Yeah for some strange reason!

lmfao omg

absolutely dying @ this gif!

probably why jason segel loves him so much.

same here. i'm only 20 but i've never been in a relationship before and i'm afraid that when i finally get in one i'm gonna be batshit insane

This will be me someday.

This is gonna be me. This is something they should teach in schools tbh.

that happened when i was 19 and to be honest i'm so glad i got that out of my system. i see women who have their first relationships as their marriage and all those first-time mistakes are made there. not a good time for that (but all types of marriages have faults, so i can't blame that)

idk, i think all your life experiences help prepare you for a functional relationship at that age versus when you were younger. i know so many people who still haven't learned anything from their previous relationships by your age, so i don't think you're any worse off than they are. even though there are some differences when a relationship is romantic, at the core of any relationship--whether it be friendship or familial--are the same lessons. being able to have fulfilling and stable relationships with your close friends and family prepares you for a stable romantic relationship.

this was me...i didn't start dating till 20 and i was going through what people basically went through in middle school.

Are you me?

I had a fling once and only once, and that was absolutely it. Although I have this excruciating self-awareness now (I'm nearly 25) of "Okay, I'm getting to the age where I need to have experienced some of this shit already, otherwise it will be that much more awkward if it happens when I'm even older".

And yet I still can't seem to rectify that and actually "get out there" and get these requisite relationship experiences. I'm trying, but god is it not working. I just can't seem to meet people.

Anyway, my point being, I hate that it's embarrassing to have not experienced certain relationship/life milestones by certain ages, or the fact that it makes you worry that it might affect them when they do come up. I just wish it weren't like that. I wish I didn't care, y'know? :/

It probably helps to know who you are already, though. A lot of my relationships in my earlier years were weird because I didn't know what I really wanted, and neither did they.

Most of the complications are just stupid stuff that we aren't clear about. Honesty is really the best thing.

There is no normal. Just go with what makes you happy and comfortable.

Honestly, the only time to start dating is when it's right for a given person, so you started dating at the right time. Dating for the sake of saying "at least Im not forever alone" defeats the point. Relationships are inherently complicated; you might end up dating 4 other people long-term, and each dude you date will be different from the last one -- and will present complications in one way or another -- b/c there's no set formula. Even people seasoned in dating are sick of the "game", so really, nobody has things 100% figured out.

The fact that you didnt put on airs years ago, just to say: "I started dating before I was 25" is just basic logic/maturity/a sign of self-actualization. You got into it after you presumably resolved a lot of insecurities and identity crises that people bring as baggage into dating if they rush into it for the sake of being ~young and eligible~. So like, you're discovering all the dating complications that were gonna be inevitable, except with more perspective, less immaturity, and hopefully less insecurity. Which is what most ppl are looking for in dating their ideal mate, anyway.

No flaws detected tbh.

there are people in their 30/40's whose relationships are just as messy as teenagers. if you're not sure if something is right, talk to a trusted friend. your good friends will always let you know what's up.

As someone who has dated for a long time, every relationship is complicated because people are complicated -- and each in their own special way.

And casual dating never becomes less awkward...it's essentially a job interview where sex may or may not be involved.

I kind of wish I had too. When I was younger I turned down guys all the time just because I was like "I'm not doing the pointless hs relationship thing, it won't last anyway." And now I wish I'd just let myself be the girl who writes her boyfriends name on her binder and shit, even though I thought it was stupid and frivolous.

Now I'm in college and my default is just to reject guys. It's like I forced my standards to impossible heights because I didn't want to deal with anyone.

There is not really a normal anyway. Just go with the flow and experience things, enjoy it. And if/when you guys break up, always remember it's a growing experience.

I think the first time you date someone, whether you are in love or not, every problem seems escalated, you can feel incredibly vulnerable, and you don't know how to trust someone else fully because you've never had to trust yourself in that type of situation before. Whether you are older or younger, it's the same type of stuff. Just remember to be patient with yourself and the person you are with. Everyone makes mistakes and is bound to say something that rubs you the wrong way - the most important thing is that you are able to communicate and be honest with each other, even if it hurts sometimes.

If you've made it seven months on your first go, you must be doing something right. :)

same here!! im 25 too. going through the same shit

i usually never watch videos, lol


tl;dr and tl;dw, smh my lazy ass

I didn't watch cause I don't really care what a "grown man" has to say.

john hamm did one of these and he was SUUUUCH a dick about it. he was basically just like "whatever, you stupid little bitches, i don't give a shit" and yet everyone was all slobbin over his metaphorical knob saying he gave such great advice. i thought he was condescending and seemed annoyed with the whole thing, whereas judd really did seem to take the questions pretty seriously, which was nice.

now that is progressive

ikr, time to practice what you preach judd

For real. Especially considering he has two young girls.

mte

thank you. the main reason IDGAF about his ~advice~ is because it makes him come off like a total hypocrite. he hasn't handled females well in his movies at all, so why should young girls listen to anything he has to say about them.

Freaks and Geeks: The Movie?

seriously, mte. i wish he'd make significant use re: this topic.

I'd like that too but I was thinking about it lately and he did produce Bridesmaids and Girls so I think he's making more of an effort these days to put more female comedic material out there even if he doesn't feel comfortable creating it himself for whatever reason.