"I have the look every woman dreams of: Wile E. Coyote right after something's blown up in his face."
– Kristen Wiig as Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil, on Saturday Night Live
"#I'm on my snob."
– Kanye West, concluding his latest Twitter rant, this time on N.Y.C. fashion
"I've made the mistake in years gone by of showing up a little late to the event, right when the Beyoncés and J. Los of the world are having their moment – then you have photographers screaming for you to get out of the way! "
– Model and Met Gala veteran Coco Rocha, who made sure to show up early to this year's fete, to PEOPLE
"This is awesome."
– Joel McHale, watching Vampire Diaries star Nina Dobrev use Conan O'Brien as a yoga post, on Conan
"I'm thinking I wouldn't exactly be a great candidate to be the Bachelor right now or anytime soon."
– The Bachelor host Chris Harrison, responding to the expected quips after he announced his split from wife Gwen Jones
"In trying to conform – we're marionettes! – I ended up looking like a moron."
– Justin Timberlake, still trying to explain his outrageous boy-band style of yore, to Details
"It makes you get over the clothes that he just leaves wherever."
– Paula Patton, on having hubby Robin Thicke write songs about her, to PEOPLE
"David was standing there in the driveway with all three boys, just [shaking his head]."
– Victoria Beckham, recalling the time she forgot son Brooklyn at home during a morning school run, to Vanity Fair
"That white guy, MCA, did stuff that rappers will never do today."
– Rapper DMC of Run-DMC, on the Beastie Boys's Adam Yauch, who succumbed to cancer last week, to PEOPLE
"At the end of the day, I just know I'll probably have the worst, spoiled little kid ever."
– Blue Ivy Carter's pop Jay-Z, laughing about the pitfalls of parenting, on Oprah's Master Class: Special Edition
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
Kristen Wiig as Leatherface
You go CoCo
Dreamboat Joel McHale
Chris Harrison, not Hansen
Justin from nsuck
Paula 'n Thicke
DMC about MCA... RIP
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD! Anyone going to The Wall tonight in SF?
and <3 to all the mommies/female patriarch out there this weekend :-)