Digested read: Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James

The Guardian/John Crace/29 April 2012

Who could resist a thrashing from such a gorgeous and enigmatic man? Not my inner goddess, that's for sure

My inner goddess melts as he forces his tongue inside me. I have never been this wet before, etc. He bends me over his knee and slaps me hard. It feels wrong, but somehow very right. His enormous penis, etc. Juddering orgasms, etc.

"Sleep with me, Sir," I beg, as I try to draw his handsome body closer to mine.

"I can't. I had a deeply disturbed childhood and S&M relationships are the only ones I can sustain."

"Tell me about your commitment problems."

"They are too disturbing. You will find I am 50 Shades of Grey. Yet I find myself strangely drawn to your virginal, 20-year-old body in a way that I have never previously experienced."

My subconscious tells me I should run away from this control freak right now, but my inner goddess is telling me to stay.

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