While we're still trying to figure out if Glee was actually ever good to begin with, we're positive about one thing: it isn't now. At this rate, we highly doubt Ryan Murphy can turn around his once at-least-entertaining high school singing show. Therefore, instead of getting viewers to start believin' again, we present a handy guide on how he and his writers can make the series even worse. Our apologies in advance if you see any of these pop up in Season 4.
Make Brittany Dumber
She already believes in leprechauns and thinks Santa is real, so it couldn't hurt to have an entire episode (or three!) devoted to her forgetting her own name and how to dance, only to make everyone feel like BULLIES when they point out that she could not possibly be this inept... while gratingly referring to her by her full name of Brittany S. Pierce, annoying initial and all.
You know that character who is supposed to be stuck up, annoying and generally intolerable? The one who is given dialogue and storylines in an already-huge ensemble? Let's see more of her, especially when she's strictly in scenes with Glee Project winners.
New New Directions
Even before our seniors graduate, the writers simply must add another ten members to Mr. Schue's club -- you know, the one that everyone in school seems to hate and is impossible to find new recruits for, but that always has five extra mute students who are just hanging out in the music room. This will allow the addition of more stunt-casted guest stars and vestigial family members to the series. We suggest bringing Dave Karofsky into the group, and for an added bonus, make everyone forget about his attempted suicide, in effect acknowledging that it was a manipulative plot device in the first place.
President Burt Hummel
Since his last-minute, write-in Congressional campaign resulted in victory by a landslide, why not really push Kurt's dad's political career forward by devoting an entire story arc to him just randomly winning the 2012 Presidential race? He can be the first president to turn down living in the White House and instead conduct the country's business from his car shop. This will no doubt cause tension between Kurt and Finn, serving as an excuse to once again revisit that buried hatchet.
Everyone likes hearing the kids sing the occasional popular throwback and even a mash-up or two, so surely that means every single song should be three-in-one, and that entire episodes should be dedicated to songs that high school students in the '10s would have never remotely heard of. And let Sue sing some of them!
Since "Extraordinary Merry Christmas" already featured Rachel Berry disregarding her own Jewish heritage -- let's combine this with her poorly conceived plan to marry Finn. We'll see Rachel go through some religious conversion before the big day, accepting Jesus in her heart and rejecting Barbra Streisand as her Lord and Savior.
Be Harder On the Female Leads
While we're already on this track, let's just go ahead and allow female characters to only speak when it's in direct response to male characters, so that the guys can teach the gals valuable lessons about not being needy bitches. To do this, you'd really only have to kill off Santana.
Completely turn Glee into a reality fan experience, where viewers get to call, text and tweet to decide to fate of the cast members, including which songs they'll sing and who will be stuck dancing alongside to Mr. Schue in any given episode.
Focus on Will's Sex Life lol
Please, tell us more about Mr. Schue's masturbation habits, his private time with Emma and show us more of those erotic dance moves. This would also be the perfect opportunity to bring back Terri.
Spotlight Sue's Pregnancy
Give even more screen time to Sue's pregnancy so that we can be further educated about Sue's out-of-character "soft spot" for people with developmental disabilities, in case it hasn't been established yet in this show about singing high school students. Juxtapose this with literally giving Sue an evil lair, so that it's even more astonishing that such a being can be capable of human emotions.
Even More Ridiculous Judges
Instead of spending episodes during Sections, Regionals, Nationals and whatever other strenuous rounds lead up to the Ultimate Glee Club Award, devote time to zany, nonsensical judges who no one cares about. Maybe throw in another Real Housewife to counterbalance NeNe Leake's surprisingly decent performance? How about a former Hell's Kitchen contestant from seasons past for cross-promotion? A CGI Stewie from Family Guy? Just make sure it's not someone who could be conceivably qualified to judge a singing competition in real life.
Please, tell us more about the dangers of being a reckless teen, and call every single person who isn't nice a bully. Stick a few more characters in wheelchairs so that we can learn the Gospel of Glee and never laugh at this once-funny series ever again. And downplay every single high school tribulation that doesn't directly relate to sexuality.
And never speak of it again. Who needs him? Kurt is college bound!