ONTD

11:46 am - 04/17/2012

How did this woman get published?!?



The only thing more enigmatic that Christian Grey, the domineering dreamboat at the center of Fifty Shades of Grey (the suburb's favorite new dirty secret), is its author, E L James.

The British wife and mother hasn't spoken with the press very much since her hyper-sexualized tome became the hottest book in America but that changed this morning when she sat down for a brief chat with the Today show.

And it quickly became clear that James is just as flummoxed by the book's success as its detractors, of which there are many. "I'm stunned by its popularity," James said, after admitting there is nothing revolutionary about the book, which she also concedes is not that well-written.

But while she doesn't praise its prose, James did detail just how dedicated she was to scripting this sexual awakening adventure. "I was obsessed. I didn't do anything else for two years," she said. "I was writing all the time."

When talk turned to the book's critics, James said that she believes a dominant/submissive relationship appeals to women because it's very attractive on paper. "I think in real life it's very different. You want someone who does the dishes," she laughed.
"You're in charge of your job, house, you're in charge of your children, you're in charge of getting food on the table – doing all this all of the time, you might want someone to be in charge some of the time."

Or at least E L James did. She calls Fifty Shades of Grey "my midlife crisis," adding that through writing the book she put all her sexual fantasies out into the world. And with more than 250,000 copies sold, it's safe to say she isn't alone.

Source

wtf is happening?! Is this a really good story and I'm just crazy? Or is the world falling into mediocrity? excuse me while I go weep into my manuscript.
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chuckisfuckis 17th-Apr-2012 03:51 pm (UTC)
Dreams really do come true for some people
iamspam99 17th-Apr-2012 03:58 pm (UTC)
U mean nightmares
affliction 17th-Apr-2012 04:00 pm (UTC)
for us
minalskare 17th-Apr-2012 04:16 pm (UTC)
lol
wigsnatcher 17th-Apr-2012 03:52 pm (UTC)
She calls Fifty Shades of Grey "my midlife crisis,"

and exactly what Twilight is


let's all wait til we're 40 and try to write a book about all the sex we wish we were having
moob 17th-Apr-2012 04:05 pm (UTC)
lol
luvallthis 17th-Apr-2012 04:11 pm (UTC)
Lol a+
andthenwevomit 17th-Apr-2012 04:23 pm (UTC)
I've already got my character names down!

Bertha Esmeralda and her best friend, Susie Aurora
falling for the handsome Cedar Prince

Edited at 2012-04-17 04:24 pm (UTC)
wigsnatcher 17th-Apr-2012 04:38 pm (UTC)
he sounds like a wooden character

ba-dum tsss
zhyvae 17th-Apr-2012 04:49 pm (UTC)
I read that as "Cheddar Prince"...
celtic_thistle 18th-Apr-2012 04:47 pm (UTC)
lmao fuck
theratwhispers 17th-Apr-2012 03:52 pm (UTC)
"I was writing all the time."

But you weren't doing an awful lot of thinking.
rollogreb 17th-Apr-2012 03:54 pm (UTC)
lol
jearsforqueers 17th-Apr-2012 03:56 pm (UTC)
LMFAO
minalskare 17th-Apr-2012 04:16 pm (UTC)
rofl
razetora 17th-Apr-2012 04:20 pm (UTC)
snrrk
silentxstrom 17th-Apr-2012 04:34 pm (UTC)
but it isn't even good writing.
poison_sin 17th-Apr-2012 04:36 pm (UTC)
LMFAO!!!!!!!! YOU WIN!
snowmoon246 17th-Apr-2012 04:50 pm (UTC)
This is a good place to put this:

thehairpin.com/2012/02/romance-novel-sentence-diagrams

iamtheliquorr 18th-Apr-2012 05:47 am (UTC)
this icon is so amazing
10101110 17th-Apr-2012 06:11 pm (UTC)
I read one chapter from the first book and that was enough - awful writing.
ljubavirakija 17th-Apr-2012 03:53 pm (UTC)
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I can't believe this is being made into a movie.
black_swan87 17th-Apr-2012 05:04 pm (UTC)
I want to hear him narrate the tampon scene.
lovely_persona 17th-Apr-2012 05:22 pm (UTC)
I DON'T.
mellawe 17th-Apr-2012 05:51 pm (UTC)
the WHAAAAAT????
ljubavirakija 18th-Apr-2012 01:47 pm (UTC)
Yes!

..or, Hiddles
celtic_thistle 18th-Apr-2012 04:48 pm (UTC)
OH

MY

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WHY
rollogreb 17th-Apr-2012 03:53 pm (UTC)
I am currently reading this, I'm at the first chapter and the chances of me finishing it are 0.000000001%.

It truly is THAT bad. I'll quit reading it after I get to the tampon-scene.
jackieblue92 17th-Apr-2012 03:54 pm (UTC)
...tampon scene? Do I want to know?
winninghearts 17th-Apr-2012 04:02 pm (UTC)
hollymarchosias 17th-Apr-2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I'm stuck after reading the...second bad sex scene, I think.
apathetic_ninja 17th-Apr-2012 04:01 pm (UTC)
Tampon scene?
actxappalledx 17th-Apr-2012 04:03 pm (UTC)
I will need u to elaborate on the tampon scene, pls
lopop7 17th-Apr-2012 04:42 pm (UTC)
Nonononononnonooooooooo

Dat tampon scene....DNW EVER
hera_bearrra 17th-Apr-2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
She has friends in the publishing world, doesn't she?
ms_cucumber 17th-Apr-2012 06:33 pm (UTC)
That's what I came here to say. Even though the article describes her as a wife and mother, she and her husband are both media professionals. The story of how they got published is such BS.
corianderstem 17th-Apr-2012 06:45 pm (UTC)
Oh, seriously? Ugh. Just .... ugh.
rubykatewriting 17th-Apr-2012 10:35 pm (UTC)
Also her claims that she is "so surprised" at the attention the book is receiving. Please, asshole, I read the transcripts from the woman who did your website. Sure, it was likely sour grapes, but rightfully so because you were clearly using the fandom/fanfiction to get your ass published.
prettywitch Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
Christian lies beside me, his hand caressing my belly, is long fingers splayed out wide.
“How’s my daughter?”
“She’s dancing.” I laugh.
“Dancing? Oh yes! Wow. I can feel her.” He grins as Blip Two somersaults inside me.
“I think she likes sex already.
arwens Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
hera_bearrra Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 03:56 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry...what...the...fuck...
rollogreb Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:47 pm (UTC)
LOL I LOVE THIS ICON SO MUCH
deargirl Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 05:47 pm (UTC)
omg this comment with this icon is killing me
chandyland11 Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 03:56 pm (UTC)
WHAT IS THIS
theratwhispers Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 03:56 pm (UTC)
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
jearsforqueers Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 03:57 pm (UTC)
LMFAO I BET THIS BITCH WAS HIGH AS FUCK WHEN SHE WROTE THIS ENTIRE THING.
300psychosis Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 03:57 pm (UTC)
O_____O
randomtasks Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 03:58 pm (UTC)
Wut?
insaynejayne Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 03:59 pm (UTC)
ljubavirakija Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 03:59 pm (UTC)
WHAT IN THE WHAT?
firecracker_sj Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:00 pm (UTC)
insertcandyhere Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:00 pm (UTC)
starlysh Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:01 pm (UTC)
omg
asth77 Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:01 pm (UTC)
.... Wow.
affliction Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:01 pm (UTC)
warsawed Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:02 pm (UTC)


nope
apathetic_ninja Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:02 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha, the HELL?!
pastelstar Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:02 pm (UTC)


Edited at 2012-04-17 04:03 pm (UTC)
baglady25 Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:03 pm (UTC)
WTF?
bluesforgotten Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:04 pm (UTC)
I am horrified.
leviicorpus Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:05 pm (UTC)
NO
rubidium Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:06 pm (UTC)
sandstorm Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:08 pm (UTC)
</I
rebeljean Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:10 pm (UTC)
WTF.
blacklicorice99 Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:11 pm (UTC)
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
fabouluz Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:12 pm (UTC)
ewwwwwwwwwwwwww
luvallthis Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:14 pm (UTC)
EW TO THE MAX
sanditar Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:14 pm (UTC)
ew. no.
minalskare Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:17 pm (UTC)
why?
i just.
i don't understand.
why.
rollogreb Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:17 pm (UTC)
M U E R T O
missjersey Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:19 pm (UTC)
What the fuck does that even mean? What's the context of this?

POOORRR QUUUEEE?
runandtelldat Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:20 pm (UTC)
lol omg Y'all are going to make me read this. Stop it.
amethystcitrine Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:20 pm (UTC)
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
babbss Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:21 pm (UTC)
lol idek what a blip two is
fwee_prower Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:22 pm (UTC)
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
markovnikov Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:27 pm (UTC)
what is blip two??
mcwicca Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:29 pm (UTC)
OMG I'M LAUGHING AND CRYING AT THE SAME TIME
indyangel Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:31 pm (UTC)
What the...
demented_21 Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:33 pm (UTC)
kapuki234 Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:35 pm (UTC)
w t f
lickety_split Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:35 pm (UTC)
fffireburns Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:37 pm (UTC)
what
djtino224 Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:37 pm (UTC)
misoras Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:38 pm (UTC)
i can't wait to get pregnant and have the same convo
tusiaczek87 Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:40 pm (UTC)
OMG THIS IS WORST THAN TAMPON SCENE
silentxstrom Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:43 pm (UTC)
....
lopop7 Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:44 pm (UTC)
lachica2000 17th-Apr-2012 04:46 pm (UTC)
¿Que puneta es esto?
mhfromnh Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:52 pm (UTC)
chuckisfuckis Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 04:53 pm (UTC)
What the fuck???
georgie_georgie Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 05:17 pm (UTC)
Words cannot express how I feel.
starchit Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 05:24 pm (UTC)
leopard_legs Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 05:28 pm (UTC)
WHY ARE YOU SEXUALISING A FOETUS
FUCK THIS SHIT
I AM OUT
lovely_persona Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 05:48 pm (UTC)
sekhmet2 Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 06:03 pm (UTC)
Well, considering that this is Twatlight fanfic and SMeyer writes about adult "werewolves" imprinting on and falling in love with infants, I guess it's no stretch of the imagination that this bitch sexualises a fetus.
mellawe Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 06:07 pm (UTC)
And here I thought imprinting on a baby was bad
squalor Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 06:16 pm (UTC)
lol juat
ms_mmelissa Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 06:40 pm (UTC)
razetora Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 07:00 pm (UTC)
NO
STOP
NIET
NEIN
CEASE AND DESIST
xxraji_babyxx Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 08:23 pm (UTC)
This is even worse than Twilight omfg
_cheshire Re: Never Forget17th-Apr-2012 09:47 pm (UTC)
what

the

fuck

did I just read?

wee_mango Re: Never Forget18th-Apr-2012 01:04 am (UTC)

WTF...
clockspiders Re: Never Forget18th-Apr-2012 02:02 am (UTC)
milkradio 18th-Apr-2012 02:08 am (UTC)


Edited at 2012-04-18 02:08 am (UTC)
r_a_black Re: Never Forget18th-Apr-2012 03:07 am (UTC)


Which book is this one from?
iamtheliquorr Re: Never Forget18th-Apr-2012 06:11 am (UTC)
celtic_thistle Re: Never Forget18th-Apr-2012 04:53 pm (UTC)
muddyroad Re: Never Forget18th-Apr-2012 06:41 pm (UTC)
GIATI.

Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
miuratenshi Re: Never Forget20th-Apr-2012 01:35 am (UTC)
/CRIES

Edited at 2012-04-20 01:36 am (UTC)
lokiyan 17th-Apr-2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
Lady, your sexual fantasies are really freakin' bland.
actxappalledx 17th-Apr-2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
Ugh, this book. I can't bring myself to read it. I am still impressed with myself for getting through all the Twilight books, tbh. I will have to take everyone else's word that it is as bad as i think it is
blooms_lady 17th-Apr-2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
I meant to say * This book is now being sold at the grocery store i work at* saw it last nite smh.
jearsforqueers 17th-Apr-2012 03:56 pm (UTC)
WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE? A HYBRID OF SMEYER AND CASSANDRA CLARE?

prettywitch 17th-Apr-2012 04:00 pm (UTC)
jearsforqueers 17th-Apr-2012 04:02 pm (UTC)
she looks.... like my biology professor from last semester.....


what.


iamspam99 17th-Apr-2012 04:04 pm (UTC)
Now imagine her as the self-insert main character getting tampon-fucked by Edward Cullen
missdisco 17th-Apr-2012 04:21 pm (UTC)
definitely writing sex fantasies.
hollymarchosias 17th-Apr-2012 04:02 pm (UTC)
bluesforgotten 17th-Apr-2012 04:04 pm (UTC)
kind of, actually.
pastelstar 17th-Apr-2012 04:09 pm (UTC)
They're always uh, rubenesque.
warsawed 17th-Apr-2012 03:56 pm (UTC)
I need to get my YA novel finished so I can cash in on this craze.
jearsforqueers 17th-Apr-2012 03:57 pm (UTC)
LOL ME TOO OMG
inboots 17th-Apr-2012 04:08 pm (UTC)
is this ya, tho. i thought it was erotica.
warsawed 17th-Apr-2012 04:11 pm (UTC)
idk but she used to write fan fiction for Twilight so

lmfao
thewitness 18th-Apr-2012 08:56 pm (UTC)
FOR REAL. this is inspiration, yo.
satellite__eyes 17th-Apr-2012 03:56 pm (UTC)
There was actually someone praising this crap on my fb feed. I can't even.
rubyboots 17th-Apr-2012 03:57 pm (UTC)
there is someone out there who will praise ANYTHING, seriously. I've only been on Goodreads for less than a week and already some of the opinions on this type of shit have left me speechless.
lickety_split 17th-Apr-2012 04:37 pm (UTC)
I'm still baffled that my old ass friends loved Twilight tbh.
satellite__eyes 17th-Apr-2012 04:47 pm (UTC)
Twilight on my one friend's reading list for next semester and she thought she was being trolled until the professor explained they're pretty much going to rip it to shreds lol
massielita 17th-Apr-2012 07:22 pm (UTC)
I was super embarrassed when I went to a book club meeting last year before the last movie came out. Thinking that I'd be able to discuss literature with older professional women (2 professors, 1 English Lit teacher, a doctor were among the group) and then all talks turned to gushing over Twilight and fighting over Team Edward/Team Jacob :/

For the premiere, this same group of women threw a wedding reception AS IF THEY HAD ATTENDED, dress accordingly and went to watch the movie
nicenicegirl 17th-Apr-2012 05:20 pm (UTC)
i had someone tell me that it was "going to change the world" a few weeks ago. i can't even.....
deargirl 17th-Apr-2012 05:50 pm (UTC)
my friend was praising cassandra clare the other day. smh.
hope_remains 17th-Apr-2012 06:34 pm (UTC)
same here! omfg. lol.
da_angel729 17th-Apr-2012 06:35 pm (UTC)
My best friend sent me a text a few hours ago saying it was awesome and I needed to read it. And that the love scenes were a bit kinky. I might just thank her for the rec and then ignore it-I've read enough excerpts to know I'm not ever going to be interested in it.

Some people's children, honestly.
xdecadentx 17th-Apr-2012 07:01 pm (UTC)
someone recommended it to me on goodreads.

i just...no.
notoriousreign 17th-Apr-2012 08:46 pm (UTC)
I have a friend on Tumblr who says how she really admires and respects Cassandra Clare for how she treats her fans so well and acts like a fan with them. I was like gurl that's treating your fans well?

And I was talking about Vampire Diaries with one of my friends one day and her other friend isn't into that sort of stuff - more realistic stuff like Murdoch Mysteries. But then she said that she liked that House of Night series? I just stared at her like... no.
sglitzys 17th-Apr-2012 03:56 pm (UTC)
I'm still shocked this even got published.
extremisttt 17th-Apr-2012 06:17 pm (UTC)
someone please explain HOW THE FUCK EVERYONE IS BUYING THIS CRAP

I have read tons of Twilight fanfic shamelessly, and there is some GOOD crap out there if you dig for it. How is that shit not published and this is?!!!! UGH
sglitzys 17th-Apr-2012 06:42 pm (UTC)
I saw my local news did a segment on this and I was shaking my head at them. I blame the fandom hype on some of the fanfics. I read this than gave up because it just going around in circles and she created a problem which never got resolved.
aurora2804 17th-Apr-2012 08:13 pm (UTC)
Exactly, there are fics out there that are thousand times better than this shit. This shit got published, became a best seller and is going to be turn into a movie? Seriously, I can't understand and never will.

Edited at 2012-04-17 08:13 pm (UTC)
iamtheliquorr 18th-Apr-2012 06:15 am (UTC)
people have shitty taste
forevergold217 17th-Apr-2012 08:28 pm (UTC)
she stole this from twilight fanfic writer
rubyboots 17th-Apr-2012 03:57 pm (UTC)
BECAUSE LIFE ISN'T FAIR, THAT'S HOW SHE GOT PUBLISHED!

Embarrassed to be British rn.
fabouluz 17th-Apr-2012 04:13 pm (UTC)
mte
joannaxlines 17th-Apr-2012 04:20 pm (UTC)
this.
winegums 17th-Apr-2012 04:43 pm (UTC)
I read some bits of it, and I can already see the Briticisms in what's supposed to be a book set in America (reference to "throwing shapes" on the dancefloor).

That's the least of this book's problems, tho. Which are ALL this: that it is complete shit and an embarrassment to the English language and its readers.
leopard_legs 17th-Apr-2012 05:29 pm (UTC)
SHE'S BRITISH?
nooooooooooo

This year is supposed to be a year of British Pride...the Olympics, Queenie's Jubilee...but this news has scuppered all that :(
winegums 17th-Apr-2012 05:34 pm (UTC)
well, you can take consolation in the fact that J.K. Rowling is British....and so are loads of other really cool writers. This one is just a flop tbh.
indelikatt 17th-Apr-2012 05:42 pm (UTC)
it's okay, bb. i don't count her as a person, so my opinion of the Brits is still flawfree. :)
sparkagrace 18th-Apr-2012 03:30 pm (UTC)
She's BRITISH?!

Urgh. I'm embarrassed too.
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