ONTD

7:04 pm - 04/15/2012

'Bully' Review: Actual Kids Grade the Documentary



“Bully"

Director: Lee Hirsch
Documentary
Rated PG-13 for intense thematic material, disturbing content, and some strong language -- all involving kids (initially rated R for some language)


“Bully” follows a group of tweens and teens who’ve dealt with persistent bullying: lonely 12-year-old Alex faces daily physical and verbal abuse (particularly on the bus) in Sioux City, Iowa; out-and-proud 16-year-old Kelby is constantly besieged by the homophobia of her classmates and teachers in Tuttle, Oklahoma; and two sets of grieving parents attempt to honor their sons, who each committed suicide rather than live another day with the merciless taunting of their peers. Since Hirsch’s documentary explores the many ways that bullying can affect and damage kids, I took two 13-year-old girls to see the film and discuss what they thought of the heartbreaking stories, and ultimately, the hopeful message.


Which of the stories affected you the most?
“The girl who came out in the town where everyone was homophobic. In the area where we live, people are much more accepting, so it’s sad and depressing to think that people who knew her all her life would be so mean. There might be a few people here who don’t agree with being gay, but overall, people wouldn’t treat a gay kid that way.” - Maddy, 7th grade

“I think the Alex story was the saddest, because it was so constant that he didn’t think there was anything anyone could do about it.” – Isabel, 8th grade


Did the bullying in the movie look realistic? What other forms of bullying have you witnessed?
“It’s not so much the physical abuse that we see, but the texting, Facebook, verbal abuse.” - Maddy


“It’s realistic, because my brother was bullied a lot in high school, and he never said anything about it. My parents only found out because he started failing every class, and eventually he had to switch to a private school with smaller classes and more help from teachers.” – Isabel


Have you been bullied yourself or seen people bullied?

“I’ve seen a group of people decide they’re going to pick on one person. They circle someone in the cafeteria, and you think it’s going to be a fight, but it’s just all of the people yelling horrible things at the person.” – Maddy



“I have. I had a group call like 50 people and pretend they were me, saying things like ‘I want to have sex with you.’ And someone told a girl I called her a ‘whore’ when I hadn’t said anything, but she got in my face almost every day and shoved me, spit her gum at me, stuff like that.” --Isabel


Did you find out who did that to you or tell anyone?
“No, and the people kept texting and asking me why I said such weird things to them. Another time, a guy punched me in the face right in class and no one, even the teacher, did anything. He was popular, so I was afraid to tell anyone else.” -- Isabel


What do you think about the adults in the documentary? The middle school’s assistant principal seemed pretty clueless.
“The scene where she tells Alex’s parents that she’s ridden Alex’s school bus line and it’s ‘good as gold’ was awful. And also the superintendent of the school with the suicide who says bullying wasn’t a particular problem is wrong.” – Isabel


“I didn’t understand Alex’s dad when he told him ‘What are you going to do when it’s your little sister being bullied? You have to take care of things now.’ I didn’t get what he wanted Alex to do. He made it seem like he wanted Alex to fight his bullies, which didn’t make sense.” – Maddy


Are the buses at your school anything like the one Alex rode on every day?
“No. A bus driver here would have stopped the bus immediately, made everyone behind them stop, and then stood up to yell at everyone to sit down. They wouldn’t have ignored the bullying like Alex’s bus driver.” – Maddy


How do you think you can help end bullying, like the movie encourages?
“I like the idea of being encouraged to stand up against bullying, but the movie also makes it seem like it’s almost pointless, because bullying will always continue.” --Isabel

“I think parents and kids need to make the schools systems change. The movie is starting a movement for change, but it’s just the beginning.”  -- Maddy


Source



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darkwarrior 15th-Apr-2012 11:08 pm (UTC)
How was this produced? Didn't people notice the camera man? Think "hey i should intervene and look good" or ya know "I should not beat this kid up and leave evidence"?
yououghtaknow 15th-Apr-2012 11:11 pm (UTC)
I think they just got used to the cameras maybe idk tbh kids can be really blind to things going on sometimes
darkwarrior 16th-Apr-2012 12:12 am (UTC)
Thanks for the info!
joaniemaloney 15th-Apr-2012 11:11 pm (UTC)
apparently they were following the kids around for a long time, so eventually they became part of the background. plus some of the cameras they used didn't look like videocameras, but seemed to capture only photographs anyway. also didn't tell them that it was a doc about bullying, from what I've heard.
praisemiley 15th-Apr-2012 11:12 pm (UTC)
apparently the camera men were filming for a long enough period of time as to just kind of blend in to the point where people didn't really notice anymore, and they also filmed multiple kids as to not make it obvious who they were focusing on. couldn't tell you what the bullies were thinking though.
ritzyroxie 15th-Apr-2012 11:12 pm (UTC)
Kids are total morons lbr.
parker_hallie 15th-Apr-2012 11:13 pm (UTC)
The production notes say that (in the case of Alex, anyway) they filmed all over the school so it wasn't obvious that they were focusing on him. On the school bus, they used a camera that looked like a still image camera so often, the kids didn't think they were being filmed.
piscesvstaurus 15th-Apr-2012 11:14 pm (UTC)
I think it was posted here that the kids eventually didn't notice the camera people. Plus, they followed multiple kids that weren't intended to be in the film so it wasn't clear which kid is being filmed.

The film crew only intervened once when the bully was choking the kid on the bus.
joaniemaloney 15th-Apr-2012 11:10 pm (UTC)
I watched this and it was so difficult to watch, but I'm glad the rating is lowered - more kids should watch this.

I'm most appalled by Kelby's story, tbh. hearing about how her entire class/school/town turned against her when she came out was just horrible. I would move right away if that happened, if the choice was there. but all the stories are really sad.
actxappalledx 15th-Apr-2012 11:11 pm (UTC)
Part of me really wants to see it, but I don't think I could handle watching it, tbh. I'm glad more kids are getting to see it, though
joaniemaloney 15th-Apr-2012 11:13 pm (UTC)
that's what I thought too but I wanted to give some money to this film so I went anyway during a matinee showing. cried a lot, lmfao.
abbyb1 16th-Apr-2012 12:45 am (UTC)
I did the same and I'm so glad I did. Brought my 2 kids (pre-teens) and was happy to see other kids there too.

This is a film that needs to be seen.
sjcolorado 15th-Apr-2012 11:44 pm (UTC)
That's me. I kind of want to see it, but I feel like I'd be a damn disaster watching it. I don't handle that kind of thing very well.
minalskare 16th-Apr-2012 12:58 am (UTC)
same
i already lived that shit, i don't need to watch it.
superdogbiter Sorry this is so long15th-Apr-2012 11:12 pm (UTC)
i remember this one class i had where these douchebags wouldn't leave me alone. One time they took a picture at me and laughed at me, then when i tried to move my chair they would chase after me switching seats to bug me. And then when i was wearing a hoodie they threw gum and paper in my hood without me noticing. My teacher asked me if i wanted them to be written down but i just wanted this to not be a big scene so i said no. I wish i had said yes. Oh well one of the cunts broke in the school and got arrested so haha
__orangeglo Re: Sorry this is so long15th-Apr-2012 11:59 pm (UTC)
sending you a hug, bb <3
praisemiley 15th-Apr-2012 11:14 pm (UTC)
I really want to see this when it comes out here but i had an extremely hard time watching the trailer. aside from how close to home it hits, I can't fucking stand that principal saying the kinds on the bus were "good as gold" , like i already never shut up during movies but i feel like i'd be screaming at the screen the entire time.
yououghtaknow 15th-Apr-2012 11:17 pm (UTC)
I always feel like principals are biased a lot of the time and it prevents them from doing there job correctly. I am sure there are great principals out there don't get me wrong but...
insomniachobs 15th-Apr-2012 11:52 pm (UTC)
I think sometimes they don't want to believe there's a bullying problem in their school. Mine told my parents the problem was that I was a loner - easier I think to diagnose it as me being a misfit than admit he had multiple bullies who needed dealing with.

They didn't tell me what he'd said until years later but if it hadn't been so horrible I would have had to laugh at how ass backwards he'd got it. It was seriously putting the cart before the horse to say I was being bullied because I was a loner. I'd never been one before the bullying started.
youmustbeaghost 16th-Apr-2012 12:50 am (UTC)
i felt like a lot of the asshole kids i knew were actually on good terms with the principal. Maybe b/c they were in the office so many times. :/
lillylilacs 16th-Apr-2012 01:11 am (UTC)
yeah ia, I didn't even dislike my principal or vps, but they would coach sports so they were on close terms with certain kids and I have a hard time believing that it didn't result in them being at least a little biased.
raised_eyebrows 15th-Apr-2012 11:17 pm (UTC)
I want to know if that woman still has a job. At the very least, that's a very insensitive thing to say when you have a visibly distressed parent sitting in front of you telling you how their child has been tormented.
charmingmistake 15th-Apr-2012 11:59 pm (UTC)
It will definitely take more than a movie to stop something like bullying - it's just a medium used to express awareness of it. Which is what we need, too. Really, I think the major way to cut down on bullying would be for the adults in the schools to PAY MORE ATTENTION but at the same time, how can we help kids with this goddamn cyberbullying and shit like that?

Basically how do we stop people from being assholes?
__orangeglo 16th-Apr-2012 12:00 am (UTC)
by the end of the movie, i wanted to murder that principal
invisible_cunt 16th-Apr-2012 12:10 am (UTC)
i hope that cunt lost her job
violue 15th-Apr-2012 11:14 pm (UTC)
Damn, poor Isabel :(
parisdiorchanel 15th-Apr-2012 11:15 pm (UTC)
This needs to leak already! My shitty ass theatre won't get it. We suck. I need to move.
xxkellyamazing 15th-Apr-2012 11:15 pm (UTC)
I'm going to see this movie by myself, because I know I'm going to cry like a baby. :/
arainymist 15th-Apr-2012 11:24 pm (UTC)
Yes omg I hated middle school. It was awful.
yououghtaknow 15th-Apr-2012 11:26 pm (UTC)
Yup middle school was the worst for me it was were a lot of my issues began and sorry u were bullied bb I know it sucks <3
s7ilver 15th-Apr-2012 11:29 pm (UTC)
Fuck middle schoolers idec
chenoweth 15th-Apr-2012 11:30 pm (UTC)
My niece starts middle school in August and shes so excited. I'm praying she has a better experience then I did.

Edited at 2012-04-15 11:32 pm (UTC)
pettyscenes 15th-Apr-2012 11:31 pm (UTC)
I was bullied the worst in middle school. idk if kids grew out of that mean phase or what, but I didn't really have any problems in high school.
vanishingbee 15th-Apr-2012 11:34 pm (UTC)
I find that if kids are punished for it the first time they target someone, they won't target them again. All you need to do is somehow make it easier to catch the bullies the first time. I think one of the major ways to do that would be a big push back against the whole "tattle tale" mentality, make it clear that being mean is Not Okay, no matter how popular you are.
myxwill 15th-Apr-2012 11:39 pm (UTC)
Adults in charge need to get off of their asses and do something when a parent comes to them with complaints that someone is making school difficult for their child. They're just lazy.
xtinkerbellax 16th-Apr-2012 12:10 am (UTC)
Yea, I think it's worse in middle school, I didn't see much bullying in high school, fights yea, but not much bullying, you were mostly just ignored if people didn't like you.
lillylilacs 16th-Apr-2012 01:12 am (UTC)
I loved middle school tbh, I never really had any problem until HS.
imnotasquirrel 15th-Apr-2012 11:24 pm (UTC)
“I didn’t understand Alex’s dad when he told him ‘What are you going to do when it’s your little sister being bullied? You have to take care of things now.’ I didn’t get what he wanted Alex to do. He made it seem like he wanted Alex to fight his bullies, which didn’t make sense.” – Maddy

This part bothered me too. I don't blame bullying victims who fight back if that's what they feel like they need to do, but we shouldn't be blaming victims who don't for whatever reason. The onus shouldn't be on them.
__orangeglo 16th-Apr-2012 12:01 am (UTC)
and the sister's response, telling him that people don't like her because he's her brother and he's creepy. i wanted to hug alex and never let go.
joaniemaloney 16th-Apr-2012 12:42 am (UTC)
that made me so uncomfortable.
it's like the dad didn't understand how badly he was being bullied - he wasn't in a state to defend himself.
arwens 15th-Apr-2012 11:25 pm (UTC)
I really want to see this
loganx2 15th-Apr-2012 11:27 pm (UTC)
I really want to see this but I feel like it would just depress me to no end. I bullied so much growing up Im sure it will give me nightmares.
arminaa 15th-Apr-2012 11:43 pm (UTC)
k
numbedtoe 15th-Apr-2012 11:57 pm (UTC)
.....I really have no idea what to make of you.
jasonbeast 16th-Apr-2012 01:05 am (UTC)
Fake and trollish, like the thing in its icon.
volatilewind 15th-Apr-2012 11:32 pm (UTC)
OT, but my mom just finished packing up most of my dad's clothing into bags. He passed away on Friday. It's surreal knowing he'll never come back to this house ever again even though stuff like his favourite brand of drink still sits in stacks in the kitchen. It'll probably sink in for me when the weekend passes, we hold his funeral, and I have to actually get out of the house and deal with people again. Just thought I'd share. If you've still got a dad who isn't an abusive asshole, I hope you go and hug him or something, ONTD.
yououghtaknow 15th-Apr-2012 11:35 pm (UTC)
awww im so sorry bb hugs if you want them :(
vanishingbee 15th-Apr-2012 11:35 pm (UTC)
:( that's sad. rip to him. stay strong.
xx_rapunzel_xx 15th-Apr-2012 11:36 pm (UTC)
i'm extremely appreciative of my dad. i'm sorry your father passed.
fatty_bumsticks 15th-Apr-2012 11:54 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry for your loss
numbedtoe 15th-Apr-2012 11:58 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry bb. I offer no cliches or platitudes. I do offer my sympathy and deep hope that you have and continue to have people to talk to during this horrible time, and for the next year or two. *hugs*
quotequeen20 15th-Apr-2012 11:58 pm (UTC)
I feel your pain bb. My dad died five years ago and it's the strangest feeling to walk outside and realize that the entire world continues as if nothing has changed when (to you) everything has changed. It's hard to explain, but it really is a surreal experience. I hate to say it, it doesn't really get "easier" it just something that you become more accustomed too.

I've read this in a book once and it helps when explaining things to friends who haven't a clue on how it feels to lose a parent. "People get that losing a parent is hard, but I don't think they fully understand everything we lose with them. It isn't just a person that is lost, it is a lifetime worth of memories yet to be made."
ladyserenity84 16th-Apr-2012 12:20 am (UTC)
I'm sorry for your loss, bb. *hugs*
sheinhardt 16th-Apr-2012 12:21 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss :/
la_fours 16th-Apr-2012 12:31 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a parent. Take care of yourself.
ncc_gqmf 16th-Apr-2012 12:45 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry, bb. I love my dad and I wish I could hug him, but he lives halfway around the world. You and he are both in my thoughts, though.
ilovestarburst 16th-Apr-2012 01:10 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry. My dad passed away last year and I think about him everyday, and I still feel like I'm in some horrible dream. It's just bizarre. I know how hard it is, stay strong. <3
boss_sister 16th-Apr-2012 01:16 am (UTC)
So sorry to hear that.
shania_cares 16th-Apr-2012 01:56 am (UTC)
I am so sorry for your loss. hugs bb, and feel free to pm me if you just need a listening ear.
c_nedra 16th-Apr-2012 03:17 am (UTC)
Lost my dad in July. Barely getting back to being myself. Stay strong but don't feel guilty about being weak. Try to keep something meaningful.

I know this is just ONTD, and we're all catty and mean sometimes, but if you need someone to talk to or listen don't hesitate to pm me.
vanishingbee 15th-Apr-2012 11:36 pm (UTC)
they signed on before filming started without being told it was a documentary about bullying
invisible_cunt 16th-Apr-2012 12:13 am (UTC)
parents don't know what goes on at school half the time
so they probably don't even know when their kid bullies

you'd be surprised how far deep in denial most parents are
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