ONTD

12:34 pm - 04/14/2012

'Frasier's' Tossed Salad And Scrambled Eggs Among Top 10 Weirdest TV Theme Songs



There was a TV theme song lyrical breakthrough this week, revealing that "Frasier's" bizarre TV theme song was ... still a bizarre TV theme song.

The theme song's composer revealed (via Best Week Ever) that "tossed salad and scrambled eggs" was a nice way to refer to the "mixed up," crazy patients of the TV radio therapist. But that isn't as nuts as it gets. While most shows choose the short and sweet lyric-less theme song path these days, the ones that take the opposite, hyper-literal route (we're looking at you, "Small Wonder") are the true heroes of horrible.

HuffPost TV rounded up 10 of our favorite bizarre TV theme songs -- literal, non-sensical and everything in between -- with some choice lyrics that always make us laugh.



'Frasier"



Tossed salad and scrambled eggs are metaphors for Frasier Crane's crazy patients? Really? Even a jazzy tune and a dumb explanation can't save this one from sounding strange.

"But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs/ They're callin' again."

'Small Wonder"



Sure, this TV theme song had quite a fantastical premise to set up, but we still laugh at this sung description of robot child Vicki.

"She's fantastic, made of plastic / Microchips here and there.
She's a small wonder / Brings love and laughter everywhere."


'Community"



"Community" uses a real song -- "At Least It Was Here" by The 88 -- and it's insanely catchy. But if you listen closely, it's also more than a tad morbid.

"Somebody said it can be here / We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year.
I can't count the reasons I should stay / One by one they all just fade away."


'Wonder Woman" (hello)



"Wonder Woman" has a custom earworm of a theme song. While not terribly bad, it was just ... weird. The lyrics mostly made sense, and called a lot of attention to her fighting for rights in satin tights, but these have us stumped. Under what? (She's too flawless for you.)

"Wonder Woman / Get us out from under / Wonder Woman."

'M.A.S.H."



The "M*A*S*H" theme was also titled "Suicide is Painless" -- what a great message for a show about the hardships of war.

"Suicide is painless / it brings on many changes / and I can take or leave it if I please.
The game of life is hard to play / I'm gonna lose it anyway."


'Blossom"



Ignoring the wonderfully bad fashions (because there was a time when they were stylin'), we're left with a little girl dancing around to a song that heavily relies on the made-up word "opinionation." This family sitcom theme sure has a lot of depressing undertones:

"Stop all your fussin' / Slap on a smile / Come out and walk in the sun for awhile ...
'Cause in my opinionation the sun is gonna surely shine."


'Baywatch"



The opening images of "Baywatch" make total sense. But the lyrics? Kind of creepy, especially when you think about David Hasselhoff singing them: He will always be there.

"'Cause I'm always there / I won't let you out of my sight / I'll be there -- never you fear / I'll be there -- forever and always / I'm always here."


'Mr Belvedere"



Painfully long, the "Mr. Belvedere" theme song made it feel like his employers were living just fine on their own ... until he came along and made them a tad snobbish.

"Streaks on the china / never mattered before / who cares / ... According to our new arrival / Life is more than mere survival / We just might live the good life yet."

'The Fall Guy"



Making the life of a stuntman sound cool while rhyming his stunt abilities wasn't easy. "The Fall Guy's" death-defying life -- dying for a living on TV -- was complicated, but all the leading lady name-dropping was more than a little strange. (Special shout-out to Sally Field and Bo Derek!)

"I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs / Blown up for Raquel Welch / But when I end up in the hay / It's only hay ... hey hey."


'Walker Texas Ranger"



Setting aside the slow-mo fight scenes and fly-fishing hijinks of the opening credits, the fact that star Chuck Norris was allowed to sing (OK, speak-sing) the show's theme song -- which is just a creepy, simpler version of "The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You" -- is amazingly awful.

"'Cause the eyes of the ranger are upon you.
Any wrong you do, he's going to see.
When you're in Texas, look behind you
'Cause that's where the ranger's gonna be."


SOURCE

Any other songs not on this list you find to be creepy?

shteved 14th-Apr-2012 04:51 pm (UTC)
Fraiser was just awful and boring.
shteved 14th-Apr-2012 04:51 pm (UTC)
Frasier*
roxas39 14th-Apr-2012 04:52 pm (UTC)
Nope
backincharge 14th-Apr-2012 04:54 pm (UTC)
I used to think that until I actually watched it one night and I liked it. It wasn't the best thing I watched but it's pretty good.
crucified 14th-Apr-2012 04:56 pm (UTC)
lol.
nemoteen 14th-Apr-2012 05:00 pm (UTC)
um, it's amazing.
sandstorm 14th-Apr-2012 05:01 pm (UTC)
The latter seasons, yeah.
grammaire 14th-Apr-2012 05:01 pm (UTC)
wrong
ch33rylips 14th-Apr-2012 05:01 pm (UTC)
Not at all.
menorahmajora 14th-Apr-2012 05:09 pm (UTC)
falsehoods, slander and lies.
violue 14th-Apr-2012 05:10 pm (UTC)
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSE
jigglemypuff 14th-Apr-2012 05:11 pm (UTC)
Cheers was much better, but Fraiser wasn't bad.
baicancook 15th-Apr-2012 06:47 am (UTC)
Cheers 4 life
sofiascarlett 14th-Apr-2012 05:12 pm (UTC)
lol no
quote_me_once 14th-Apr-2012 05:14 pm (UTC)
as a child, yes.
as an adult, you lyin'
nationalboner 14th-Apr-2012 05:17 pm (UTC)
No.
it_has_been 14th-Apr-2012 05:32 pm (UTC)
title or description
emmakinney 14th-Apr-2012 05:55 pm (UTC)
Wow, I would hate to go through my life as wrong as you...
hedgerowbustle 14th-Apr-2012 06:00 pm (UTC)
I'm with you. I never got the love of that show. And I hated the Fraiser character on Cheers to. Heck, I just don't like Kelsey Grammer.
tuluum 14th-Apr-2012 06:54 pm (UTC)
iconic and amazing
ghostley 14th-Apr-2012 07:21 pm (UTC)
Wrong.
bush_tetra 14th-Apr-2012 07:28 pm (UTC)
smh @ ur taste
kstew 14th-Apr-2012 07:39 pm (UTC)
lies
darkwarrior 14th-Apr-2012 07:44 pm (UTC)
Nah it was OK, but over time it got grating, particularly Niles and Daphne.

Niles unrequited stalking was funny except when he started actively harming her life with it. Once it was requited? Fuck that shit. He was a sad stalker who loved her from the second he saw her and stalked the hell out of her while being a married man, and Daphne never showed the slightest interest.

Then suddenly the writers just thought "fuck that" and had it that she was subconsciously in love with him as well. Then they got together and it mostly went perfectly. I know it's not reality but that is a really fucked up message IMO. Hold on for 7 years, she'll come around.
dives 14th-Apr-2012 07:45 pm (UTC)
Nope.
guliety 14th-Apr-2012 08:01 pm (UTC)
no its hilarious
bnlmaroonvwbug 14th-Apr-2012 08:15 pm (UTC)
i have to agree. i think people are disagreeing because of the dog lol.
bellyroomfan 15th-Apr-2012 04:20 am (UTC)
iawtc! i've tried to rewatch it and it is just horrible.
leopard_legs 15th-Apr-2012 05:29 pm (UTC)
when there's nothing else on I find myself putting it on
and mum watches it in the morning before she goes to work...it's just a nice, enjoyable show
jilicious 15th-Apr-2012 10:23 pm (UTC)
failure
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