ONTD

10:13 pm - 03/23/2012

Let’s Talk About That Vogue Article About a Mom Putting Her Seven-Year-Old On a Diet…



Vogue published kind of a tricky article in their April issue about a woman putting her seven-year-old daughter on a diet. The larger issue of child obesity is, as Weiss makes sure to point out, a real one, and Weiss’ daughter was clinically obese and needed to lose weight for health reasons. The article’s author, Dara-Lyn Weiss is faced with the complicated task of helping her daughter lose weight without giving her long-term body image issues. Any article on the subject–especially one written in Vogue by a socialite-y upper-class Manhattanite–is going to raise some eyebrows. This one in particular has inspired serious outrage.

For example, Jezebel calls it “the worst Vogue article ever” and Weiss “one of the most fucked up, selfish women to ever grace the magazine’s pages.” Indeed, some of the things Weiss did to keep her kid from breaking her diet are a little nuts. For example, the article began with the following interaction:

I stepped between my daughter and a bowl of salad nicoise my friend was handing her, raising my palm like a traffic cop. “Thanks,” I said, “but she already ate dinner.”
“But she said she’s still hungry,” my friend replied, bewildered.
I forced a smile. “Yeah, but it’s got a lot of dressing on it and we’re trying–”
“Just olive oil!” my friend interrupted. “It’s superhealthy!”
My smile faded and my voice grew tense. “I know. She can’t.”
My friend’s eyes moved to my daughter, whose gaze held the dish in the crosshairs: a Frisbee-size bowl bursting with oil, tuna, eggs, potatoes, olives.
This may have not been the best way to set up the article if she wanted the reader to believe her to be a sane, reasonable person. Some other not-so-sane things she admitted to doing:

• Angrily throwing an untouched kid’s sized hot chocolate in the trash and stormed out of a Starbucks because a barista didn’t know exactly how many calories were in it.
• Not letting Bea partake in “Pizza Fridays” at school
• Making Bea go without dinner because she ate “nearly 800 calories of brie, filet mignong, baguette and chocolate” at school for French Heritage Day (I wish I went to that school)


Also a red flag: Weiss admits to having had issues with food her whole life, including obsessive dieting, fasting, using laxatives, etc. The thing is, she fully acknowledges that, stating, “Who was I to teach a little girl how to maintain a healthy weight and body image?”

Overall, Weiss comes across as obsessive and the fact that she made such an issue of her daughter’s weight, both in public and in Vogue–seems wrong. Jezebel contacted Dr. Dolgoff, the founder of “Red Light, Green Light, Eat Right,” the which is what Bea’s diet was based on, who said she “wasn’t thrilled” with the way Weiss interpreted her book. “The parents aren’t supposed to react in public,” she said. “They’re supposed to be on their child’s team. Another parent in [Weiss'] situation may have seen that, while weight loss was progressing, there were some emotional issues. But she chose to continue dieting in her own way. I believe that if she had continued coming, the end result would have been more than just weight loss: she’d have weight loss and a happy child.”

To me, it’s a tricky situation that’s hard to criticize if you haven’t been in it yourself. Most moms aren’t perfect and don’t a lot of them end up screwing their kids up one way or another?

Source
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bluebandit77 24th-Mar-2012 04:14 am (UTC)
why
pussyfoot 24th-Mar-2012 04:14 am (UTC)
wow fuck i don't think anyone would live to tell the tale of coming between me and a nicoise salad

Edited at 2012-03-24 04:15 am (UTC)
no_urges 24th-Mar-2012 04:15 am (UTC)
lol I was just going to make a comment like this dammit. That shit is fucking delicious.
gnarlsbarkley 24th-Mar-2012 04:16 am (UTC)
most beautiful comment all day tbh
ellie_andrews 24th-Mar-2012 04:17 am (UTC)
lol irl
hershelwalker 24th-Mar-2012 04:29 am (UTC)
omg I've never had that before and I'm drooling at the description
muzicnem 24th-Mar-2012 04:46 am (UTC)
IKR why have I never had this?
chihaya19 24th-Mar-2012 05:06 am (UTC)
i've never had it but reading what's in it i'm like



what have i been missing????
tigirah 24th-Mar-2012 05:25 am (UTC)
me too except only if it's not canned tuna tbh
beatlesluv 24th-Mar-2012 06:22 am (UTC)
ded ILU
swissbeauty23 24th-Mar-2012 06:38 am (UTC)
i've never had one googling it rn
paupiedequincey 24th-Mar-2012 06:48 am (UTC)
My favorite thing ever to order at a nice restaurant--especially if someone else is paying and you don't want to order a $50 entree.. its perfect.

Also make sure you ask that they use fresh or pan seared ahi-tuna. Ive been disappointed when they bring me a salmon patty or even worse canned salmon.. :(!
iluvdykes 24th-Mar-2012 07:49 am (UTC)
I've never had it but the description of it. . .

OMG
common123 24th-Mar-2012 10:07 am (UTC)
lololol
joaniemaloney 24th-Mar-2012 12:49 pm (UTC)
omg. new discovery.
fruitchews 24th-Mar-2012 04:15 am (UTC)
What?
fakevoices 24th-Mar-2012 04:15 am (UTC)
parisdiorchanel 24th-Mar-2012 04:15 am (UTC)
That poor child will probably have an eating disorder now. smh.
jessashoutbaby 24th-Mar-2012 02:08 pm (UTC)
That is exactly what I was thinking as I read the article this morning. I'm so appalled and disgusted by this woman's behavior, rewarding weight loss with fancy dresses and trips to the salon, humiliating get child in public and causing her kid to binge behind her mother's back. The author is more concerned with her child's weight than her obvious sadness.
paranoiattaque 26th-Mar-2012 05:53 pm (UTC)
i guess the positive thing here is that she isn't using food as a reward? so many people do and that isn't really good, either.
ronweezy 24th-Mar-2012 04:15 am (UTC)
isntdaveone 24th-Mar-2012 04:15 am (UTC)
oh, i thought this was about J.Lo putting her kids on a diet.

:(
eaglefan2011 24th-Mar-2012 04:21 am (UTC)
same
schoolisuncool 24th-Mar-2012 04:29 am (UTC)
lol so disappointing, i thought so too
bitchsdangerous 24th-Mar-2012 06:00 am (UTC)
ditto

After that bullshit article of her basically saying that "people shouldn't do IVF because it interferes with "gods" plan", I've hated her with a passion and if she was now making her child diet it wouldn't surprise me in the least.
beatlesluv 24th-Mar-2012 06:24 am (UTC)
MTE then i remembered her bbs arent 7 yet and i breathed a sigh of relief and read the article.
dottiehinkle 24th-Mar-2012 04:16 am (UTC)
J.lo being a controlling diva bitch? I for one am shocked.
dottiehinkle 24th-Mar-2012 04:20 am (UTC)
Lol I thought this was talking about j.lo. Damn I failed lol.
fakevoices 24th-Mar-2012 04:17 am (UTC)
it isn't about j.lo

wow
invisible_cunt 24th-Mar-2012 04:18 am (UTC)
reading comprehension
msamericandream 24th-Mar-2012 04:18 am (UTC)
lmao
viakyusu 24th-Mar-2012 04:19 am (UTC)
oh someone didn't read...
murdered_beauty 24th-Mar-2012 04:19 am (UTC)
lol
paulimapi 24th-Mar-2012 04:20 am (UTC)
lol gurl
robodromo 24th-Mar-2012 04:21 am (UTC)
lol hahaha.
readycheckmate 24th-Mar-2012 04:23 am (UTC)
did u read the post
peachie_ego 24th-Mar-2012 04:24 am (UTC)
oop
hershelwalker 24th-Mar-2012 04:34 am (UTC)
lol props to you for leaving this up as long as you have
andisprohi 24th-Mar-2012 04:49 am (UTC)
"J.lo being a controlling diva bitch? I for one am shocked."

choking on my delicious fattening bagel laughing

kindafunnysad 24th-Mar-2012 05:33 am (UTC)
ontd at ils best
danicka 24th-Mar-2012 05:36 am (UTC)
matchitehew 24th-Mar-2012 05:38 am (UTC)
Someone who has a Fairuza Balk icon is allowed to get away with a silly mistake.
vag_breath 24th-Mar-2012 06:17 am (UTC)
lol u tried it
ruby_winchester 24th-Mar-2012 07:06 am (UTC)
lol
hawaii_bombay 24th-Mar-2012 04:17 am (UTC)
ectypes 24th-Mar-2012 02:42 pm (UTC)
omfg lol
invisible_cunt 24th-Mar-2012 04:16 am (UTC)
well maybe this wouldn't have happened if you gave her healthy food in the first place
paulimapi 24th-Mar-2012 04:20 am (UTC)
mte, healthy habits should be in the house from the start so they never really have to lose any weight
invisible_cunt 24th-Mar-2012 04:26 am (UTC)
i was always so resentful that we rarely had junk food in the house or ate fast food, and the only cereals we had were the lowest sugar ones (rice krispies, special k, regular cheerios, shreddies)
i would actually steal snacks from other kids, sneaking in during recess because my treat was always a single cookie

now i'm thankful that i was brought up on moderation and healthy foods. i can't eat sugar early in the morning or on an empty stomach because i feel gross and get pains.
ashe_frost 24th-Mar-2012 04:31 am (UTC)
Nope. Some kids are just fatter than others, especially right before puberty. Though healthy habits should obviously always be there, but some kids still get heavy/chubby no matter if they are healthy from birth.

And that kid never could've been so obese that she needed severe calorie controlled dieting if 16 pounds made her as model thin if she is now. Her pictures are in Vogue, too... I saw them in a different article.

Like, honestly, maybe just quit eating sweets with her, quit frying dinner and try to go on walks with her every day and in six or seven months she probably would've evened out.
jennbot 24th-Mar-2012 05:25 am (UTC)
Sounds to me like crazy control freak mom was probably making her daughter sneak eat
calcified 24th-Mar-2012 05:54 am (UTC)
She's clinically obese. I doubt it's just food.
beatlesluv 24th-Mar-2012 06:25 am (UTC)
THISSS. A child isn't going to know what ~unhealthy~ is unless they have access to it. Feed your kids healthy choices and they WILL make healthy choices when they are older. She sounds like one of those manipulative moms who uses food and takes it back when it pleases her. DNW
swissbeauty23 24th-Mar-2012 06:39 am (UTC)
ding ding ding, we have a winner!
paupiedequincey 24th-Mar-2012 06:53 am (UTC)
IA. You don't have to shame a kid if they are overweight tho..
No little girl wants to be fat.. if you carefully explain that diet and excercise=healthy and make it a team effort (mommy is going to get in shape too!) I don't think its wrong at all.

Saying "No you can't have dinner because you're a fat shit.."

LMAO.. ok..
mooshki 24th-Mar-2012 08:26 am (UTC)
Or maybe got her some exercise once in a while?
lroche_nf 24th-Mar-2012 08:51 pm (UTC)
Exactly this
incontrol_xo 24th-Mar-2012 04:16 am (UTC)
That's not weird at all. Her kid is obese. Im already that picky about how healthy I eat and I am not underweight or anorexic.

/maybe not to american parents who think its ok to eat chips ahoy in moderation.
dancedallnight 24th-Mar-2012 04:19 am (UTC)
thank you
raised_eyebrows 24th-Mar-2012 04:23 am (UTC)
Exactly. Kids are different than adults. Adults need to be mature and careful with such a sensitive subject.
insomniachobs 24th-Mar-2012 12:47 pm (UTC)
Excellent post
coutureable 24th-Mar-2012 10:50 pm (UTC)
Yes.

And rolling my eyes at the generalization of American parents. In my personal experience being a parent, it takes A LOT to make a kid fat. It's either some genetic problem or that kid is eating WAY too much food - not what they're eating, because kids have notoriously poor/picky diets. Please. If every kid got fat because they didn't eat "healthy foods" most of the time, 90% of children growing up would be obese. That's just not the case.
isntdaveone 24th-Mar-2012 04:19 am (UTC)
bluepassiflora 24th-Mar-2012 04:22 am (UTC)
Not everyone who has disordered thinking about food is underweight or anorexic.
okayprettygood 24th-Mar-2012 04:23 am (UTC)
Well, there's a big difference between teaching your kid to eat healthily (and providing the means to do so) and militantly forcing a diet on them and making them feel ashamed for wanting to eat, even humiliating them in public about food.
between_lights 24th-Mar-2012 04:24 am (UTC)
a 7 year old being denied food by their mother is not the same as an adult making conscious, deliberate, and informed decisions about their own health. these are not healthy eating habits to force onto a child and it's only setting the kid up for potential self-image problems and eating disorders.
ashe_frost 24th-Mar-2012 04:40 am (UTC)
I'm not sure her kid was obese though. Her mom says she was clinically obese, but even on the faulty BMI scale, her given height and weight at the time only puts her at overweight. Here are pictures after 16lbs. If you look like that after losing 16lbs you weren't obese. Even if you are a kid.

Though I never disagree with teaching a child to eat healthfully and enjoy an active lifestyle.. It's just if you teach your kid to be ashamed of food and eating, that's not healthy at all. She should've been having fun with her by bringing her into the kitchen to make sure she had a lean protein and two colorful vegetables on her plate for dinner and letting her pack her own lunches for school and playing lots of sports with her for exercise. Throwing fits about calories and telling your kid she's too fat to eat dinner is way over the line.
euterpe_xx 24th-Mar-2012 05:23 am (UTC)
no. she is seriously under feeding her kid. If you read the part about her making the kid skip dinner because she had 800 calories...well 800 is not nearly enough calories. The daily calorie intake for a child is supposed to be slightly higher than it is for adults.

disclaimer: I'm pretty sure on this, although not 100%. It has been a while since I took all those medical courses...
tigermilk Re: Any white girls on ONtd weaved up?24th-Mar-2012 06:03 am (UTC)
From another article linked in comments: Rather than direct my irritation at the grown-up, I often derided Bea for not refusing the inappropriate snack.

Not appropriate parenting. Be authoritative, not authoritarian.
chainsaw_apple 24th-Mar-2012 10:14 am (UTC)
/maybe not to american parents who think its ok to eat chips ahoy in moderation.

But... why wouldn't that be OK?
starchain 24th-Mar-2012 11:47 am (UTC)
the way she is doing is all wrong, it borders on abuse.
coutureable 24th-Mar-2012 10:56 pm (UTC)
Chips Ahoy in moderation? Hello? Have you ever been a kid. Kids have notoriously picky diets - a lot of kids go through phases of only wanting to eat one or two things. And you know what? Pediatricians say to let them eat what they want and they'll grow out of it. You can't control a child's diet like you can an adults. Cookies and crap foods every now and then for a kids who is active and otherwise healthy is just FINE.

Jesus christ, I don't know where you're from but it sounds like you need to live a little.
dancedallnight 24th-Mar-2012 04:17 am (UTC)
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
fakevoices 24th-Mar-2012 04:18 am (UTC)
lol i love this gif
lovely_niqua 24th-Mar-2012 04:19 am (UTC)
lol she looks so determined.
robodromo 24th-Mar-2012 04:21 am (UTC)
lovet!
hawaii_bombay 24th-Mar-2012 04:33 am (UTC)
LOL
hershelwalker 24th-Mar-2012 04:37 am (UTC)
I love this gif. I think b/c it's cool to see her not cheesing for cameras. idk, she looks ~real
swissbeauty23 24th-Mar-2012 06:41 am (UTC)
and gorgeous and flawless while being real <3
dreamologia 24th-Mar-2012 07:23 am (UTC)
Where's this from?
oatmealmonster 24th-Mar-2012 04:18 am (UTC)
I can't with people who don't realize a child dieting is a totally different thing than an adult. The same principles do not apply because the child is still growing.
paulimapi 24th-Mar-2012 04:22 am (UTC)
Yep, plus you need to be extremely careful with what you say, too.
vanishingbee 24th-Mar-2012 04:23 am (UTC)
What sort of differences? I don't look into dieting at all I just try to eat healthier, but I have no idea about how kids need to eat.
oatmealmonster 24th-Mar-2012 04:43 am (UTC)
Unless the kid is severely overweight to the point that even as an adult it would be obese it's generally best to not have the kid actually lose weight, but instead gain at a slower rate (depending on current weight and expected growth). A little bit of weight loss is okay, but that should not be the focus. Instead a kids activity should be increased and just overall better foods/ portion sizes that will transfer over into adult life. Depriving a child when it doesn't really understand what is going on, imo, is child abuse--regardless of if the parent means well.

Having her daughter diet at just 7 years old when she will naturally be gaining weight simply because she is getting taller can cause serious body image issues. She'll never learn to accept her body with number being such a big focus. And she will have a very unhealthy relationship with food if she doesn't learn to make good habits.

This article is incredibly sad. This mother is taking it overboard.
oatmealmonster 24th-Mar-2012 05:06 am (UTC)
Also, making a child lose weight can delay or otherwise interfere with puberty which can cause a lot of other issues in terms of both physical and mental health.
noneformethanx 24th-Mar-2012 04:36 am (UTC)
It's humiliating the child by making this an issue in public and in front of people. She says her daughter is obese but why isn't the daughter in sports instead of making food an enemy?
fuckyess 24th-Mar-2012 07:52 am (UTC)
NO ONE should diet. eating healthy is not the same as a diet. diets don't work.
garamsythe 24th-Mar-2012 04:18 am (UTC)
christ, there's ways to eat healthy without starving yourself.
ch33rylips 24th-Mar-2012 04:18 am (UTC)
101 ways to fuck up your child.
greenfairy_87 24th-Mar-2012 04:25 am (UTC)
That really needs to be a book.
lalameanslove 24th-Mar-2012 04:57 am (UTC)
my dad can write the introduction tbh
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