A LESSON IN ONTD VOCABULARY.
Today we are going to cover the basics of 8 (YES 8 IM LAZY OKAY) terms used (and abused) on this wonderful site. All the words will be compiled into a list, but it's not meant to be ranked because it's not that kind of post. So sit back, relax and enjoy this flaw free* post motherfuckers. We will be covering the following:
1.) What is ONTD vocabulary?
- A brief yet slightly inaccurate summary based on my limited personal knowledge.
- The meaning/origins of the word
- How they're used
*no, flaw free is not one of the words on the list lbr.
Meaning/Origin/How it's Used: "NO1CURR" means to not care. To have absolutely no fuck given in regards to a specific topic or person. From my knowledge, the term was originally coined by fallen ONTD user "KatieKylie" in an ONTD related community. Usually in GIF form to dismiss the claims of someone who believes that a certain subject/person should be cared about. I'll give you a few examples to show you the versatility of this word.
CIARA'S ALBUM IS COMING OUT NEXT MONTH!
JUSTIN BIEBER COLOURED HIS HAIR ONE SHADE DARKER!
RACHEL BILSON WENT TO THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY 700+ PHOTOS UNDER THE CUT!
See what I mean?
7.) "YOU TRIED IT"
Meaning/Origin/How It's Used: Means to shut down someone who has made a claim but failed to have a legitimate point behind what they've said. The intent is to put down the person in a condescending manner. The origin of the term dates back to biblical times. Don't believe me? Let me show you sis.
The Story of "The Ten Plagues" from The Book Of Exodus
According to Wikipedia:
the Biblical Plagues, were ten calamities that, according to the biblical Book of Exodus, Israel's God, Yahweh, inflicted upon Egypt to persuade Pharaoh to release the ill-treated Israelites from slavery. Pharaoh capitulated after the tenth plague, triggering the Exodus of the Jewish people. The plagues were designed to contrast the power of Yahweh with the impotence of Egypt's various gods. Some commentators have associated several of the plagues with judgment on specific gods associated with the Nile, fertility and natural phenomena. According to the Book of Exodus, God proclaims that all the gods of Egypt will be judged through the tenth and final plague:
"On that same night I will pass through Egypt and strike down every firstborn — both men and animals —and I will bring judgment on all the gods of Egypt. I am the LORD" — Exodus 12:12
THE ONTD TRANSLATION:
- The Pharaoh of Exodus tried to come for the Israelites.
- Yahweh wasn't having that shit
- Yahweh through 10 different amounts of shade at the Pharaoh
- All that shade fucked up the Pharaoh
THE PHARAOH TRIED IT.
Meaning/Origin/How It's Used: To viciously insult and disrespect a subject or individual in a subtle manner. Often used to make oneself look better in the process. The act of "throwing shade" is a skilled art and when done right can be legendary. I don't know the origin but I'm pretty sure it started when trees started growing and started shading the ground. The ground must have done something to those damn trees I don't know. Let's celebrate this fabulous word by honoring the queen of shade herself, Mariah Carey. Here are a few shady quotes from the Messiah.
" I really haven't paid attention to Madonna since about like 7th or 8th grade when she used to be popular" - Mariah Carey on Madonna
"I don't know her." - Mariah Carey, when asked about Jennifer Lopez
“I had hoped that Christina was in a better place now than the last time I saw her when she showed up uninvited at one of my parties and displayed questionable behavior.It is sad yet predictable that she would use my name at this time to reinvent past incidents for her promotional gain. It is in my heart to forgive and I will keep her in my prayers.” - Mariah Carey on Christina Aguilera.
Children, that is how you throw shade.
5.) "LET'S BE REAL/LBR"
Meaning/Origin/How It's Used: Mostly used in it's abbreviated form, "Let's Be Real" is a response to someone whose delusion needs to be checked. Often used has a form of shade itself but usually is used at the end of the sentence to solidify a counter-point. The origin of the term is debated, but the best example would date back to 16th century astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus
You tried it with that lacefront Nicolaus Copernicus. Is Azealia Banks doing your weave?
According to Wikipedia
"Copernicus' epochal book, De revolutionibus orbium coelestium (On the Revolutions of the Celestial Spheres), published just before his death in 1543, is often regarded as the starting point of modern astronomy and the defining epiphany that began the scientific revolution. His heliocentric model, with the Sun at the center of the universe, demonstrated that the observed motions of celestial objects can be explained without putting Earth at rest in the center of the universe. His work stimulated further scientific investigations, becoming a landmark in the history of science that is often referred to as the Copernican Revolution."
Sis was checking those ho's from the grave! His heliocentric model basically made every dumb bitch who thought the center of the universe was the earth to have several seats. Copernicus kept it real!
4.) "SIT DOWN/HAVE A SEAT/HAVE SEVERAL SEATS"
Meaning/Origin/How It's Used: To "Have A Seat" is a response to someone whose opinion or statements are so unbelievably dumb and of no logic/merit, they they need to not express their stupidity any further by sitting their ass down. Often used as a retort to a stupid and bogus claim. Credit to the term can be given to Dateline NBC's "To Catch a Predator" host/ news anchor Chris Hansen, who used the term "Why don't you have a seat" as a response to the captured pedophiles on his show. Here is a clip of homegirl in action.
3.) "GURL BYE"
Meaning/Origin/How It's Used: To end an interaction with a basic bitch. Similar but not identical to telling someone to "Have a Seat", "Gurl bye" is an automatic end to an exchange with someone who doesn't even deserve a seat. Let me give you some examples.
LEONA LEWIS WILL SLAY THIS YEAR
BEYONCE CAN'T DANCE OR SING
LANA DEL REY HAS MORE VOCAL RANGE THAN ADELE
See what I'm saying? oh you still don't get it?
Pictorial interpretation of Katy Perry's album sales tbh
Meaning/Origin/How It's Used: To "drag" a bitch is to shade them so hard that they don't even know what to do with themselves. This is usually the last resort after "Have A Seat" and "Girl Bye" seem to not register. The intent is to tear a bitch down so hard that they can't even get up. The origin isn't easy to pin point but this is a great moment in dragging history
Yum. Sweet taste of bitterness.
Meaning/Origin/How It's Used: Being "Pressed" means to be overtly bitter and mad over something trivial. It's often used to describe haters who are doing the most with their hate. Here are some various photos of pressed people through history.
Marcus Junius Brutus the Younger
SOURCES: MY EYES, WIKIPEDIA, THE BIBLE