ONTD

12:26 pm - 02/16/2012

Time Magazine Throwing Shade At Duggar Family



19 Kids and Counting: Why the Duggar Family Keeps Having Kids


Michelle Duggar isn’t big on leaving well enough alone. Well enough, in this prolific procreator’s case, is 19 children. This week, we learned she wants more.


In December, she suffered a much-publicized miscarriage of a girl she and her husband, Jim Bob, named Jubilee Shalom; she would have been the couple’s 20th child. On Tuesday, the Duggars made their first public appearance since losing that pregnancy, where Michelle Duggar told Ann Curry on Today that “I would do it again.”


She clearly loves babies, and I get that. But at some point, it would seem prudent to be happy with your (abundant) lot. Duggar is 45, well into the gray area where pregnancies are more apt to go awry. The Duggars seem so sincere that it would feel downright insincere to question whether their desire to welcome another child to their brood could have anything to do with the continued relevancy of their nine-season reality show, 19 Kids and Counting. The season premiere aired Tuesday night, after their Today interview, and focused on the recent miscarriage.


The episode chronicled the wrenching moment when a routine ultrasound revealed that Jubilee’s heart was no longer beating. I’ve been there too, so it’s not that I have no sympathy for the Duggars’ grief. And kudos to them for allowing the footage to air, believing, as Michelle Duggar told Access Hollywood, that “it was a way to help other families go through difficult situations.”


But I wonder why they can’t seem to find sufficient satisfaction in the bevy of kids they have succeeded in bringing into this world. “Every child is a blessing from the Lord,” Michelle Duggar told Curry. But how can you truly appreciate your blessings when there are so very many?


At BabyCenter.com, Sara McGinnis worries that “the Duggars’ convictions play dangerously with Michelle’s health (19th child Josie was born very prematurely via emergency c-section due to pre-eclampsia)…[and] as a fan sitting on the other side of the television screen [I] feel fear that this family might have to go through such an experience again — or worse.”


In response, one reader wrote: “They will be trying (or at least not preventing) until she is in menopause and/or until she dies in delivery — whichever happens first. They obviously have no regard for limits or caution or whatever…” Another commented: “I feel bewilderment and frustration. 19 kids and two grandkids to take care of and love! Time to take all of the blessings they already have and make the most of that.” But others — many others — praise their faith in God.


Yet I can’t keep thinking that there’s a reason most people have a kid or two, maybe three or even four, and then blow the whistle. Kids demand — and deserve — attention. I can’t fathom how two parents can possibly do laundry for 19 children, let alone spend time with each of them. Then again, I don’t have to contend with Nielsen ratings.


Bonnie Rochman is a reporter at TIME. Find her on Twitter at @brochman. You can also continue the discussion on TIME‘s Facebook page and on Twitter at @TIME

Source


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grande_latte 16th-Feb-2012 05:31 pm (UTC)
GET IT BONNIE FORREAL
jeveuxmacaron 16th-Feb-2012 05:32 pm (UTC)
in before 'but she has a right to do whatever she wants with her body'


like she makes the decisions here
babysinclair 16th-Feb-2012 05:42 pm (UTC)
Touche!
distant_lines 16th-Feb-2012 05:51 pm (UTC)
Exactly...she can't. If he wants sex, she has to say yes.
miss_nyxie 16th-Feb-2012 06:33 pm (UTC)
Really? That sucks.
k_byte 16th-Feb-2012 05:57 pm (UTC)
i honestly think she does though, at least in the having kids department. i honestly think she is addicted to having babies at this point. not having KIDS, literally having BABIES. she seems to lose interest in the babies once they become toddlers and start having some degree of autonomy and then at that point, it's time to have another precious babby!!!!1 i think if she wanted to stop (and practice natural family planning or just pull and pray lol), jim boob would respect that.
andres01234 16th-Feb-2012 06:26 pm (UTC)
She can do whatever she wants with her body, but she has responsibilities. She can have as many babies as she wants, she can give them up for adoption if being pregnant is her thing. But neglecting the kids she has is vile and disgusting
shadowpiranha 16th-Feb-2012 07:24 pm (UTC)
lol seriously.
xcollsangelx 16th-Feb-2012 05:32 pm (UTC)
This family is a nightmare.

jbants 16th-Feb-2012 06:06 pm (UTC)
Fucking right? Seriously. I understand the whole "she has the right to have as many children as she wants" sort of thing, but when does it get to the point where it's selfish? Enjoy the beautiful children you have instead of trying to populate the western hemisphere. jfc
hope_remains 16th-Feb-2012 11:11 pm (UTC)
ita
theflyingbeet 16th-Feb-2012 10:25 pm (UTC)
planet Earth's nightmare
disco_balla 16th-Feb-2012 05:32 pm (UTC)
A bunch of freaks. Yeah, I said it.
executivehpfan 16th-Feb-2012 06:12 pm (UTC)
You said it, I agree with it and I don't give a fuck who comes at me for it.
andres01234 16th-Feb-2012 06:32 pm (UTC)
mte... I understand "alternative lifestyles" or whatever you want to call their situation, but they don't even know their kids' favourite colour or ice cream flavour.
I LOVE Sister Wives, they have 18 kids iirc, but there are 5 parents (Kody+Meri+Janelle+Christine+Robin) and for what I've seen in the show, they're really good parents and care a lot about their kids. Plus, they don't force their beliefs down their kids throats, I think only one of the teenagers wants to be a polygamist lifestyle, the rest say they want to have monogamous relationships
katesamaloo 16th-Feb-2012 07:06 pm (UTC)
I agree!! I love the Sister Wives family. WIth so many parents, there's always someone for the kids to have. idk I just like them and hate the Duggars.
letmypidgeonsgo 16th-Feb-2012 08:42 pm (UTC)
Yay Sister Wives! I was really worried before I watched it, but after seeing how they live, I have a lot of respect for them.
hope_remains 16th-Feb-2012 11:13 pm (UTC)
Oh my god, I really need a Sister Wives post actually because I feel like I have so much to say when it comes to them, lol. I love them.

I cried during last season's finale, lol. When they all had to move to Vegas and everyone was sad and no one understood why they were being bullied/threatened by their own state into moving. It was all just so fucked up and depressing.
therealycats 17th-Feb-2012 11:29 pm (UTC)
The only one who really seems to be pretty adamant that all the kids should be polygamists is Robyn (Christine to an extent, but Robyn is INSANE about it when it comes up in conversation), but yeah, generally speaking, although they've all expressed that they WANT the kids to adopt that lifestyle, I think they realize that that may very well not happen. And unlike the Duggars, it seems like they're okay with that. (Oh, I don't know that the Duggars expect all their kids to have double digits of children, but I certainly think they're shoving their beliefs down their throats in a way that the Browns don't seem to be to their children.)
acidrain0789 19th-Feb-2012 06:17 am (UTC)
ITA about Sister Wives. Admittedly I was judgmental of that family without watching the show, based on what I'd read/seen in the news. But after actually watching last season, I have a lot of respect for them tbh.
__nocturna 16th-Feb-2012 07:52 pm (UTC)
ia
nationalboner 16th-Feb-2012 08:04 pm (UTC)
I agree so hard.
foureyedgirl 16th-Feb-2012 11:48 pm (UTC)
freaks is an understatement tbh
reach_the_end 16th-Feb-2012 05:33 pm (UTC)
Live and let live. They seem to be good parents, they don't neglect their children despite having so many. She wants more kids; get over it.
quidscipio 16th-Feb-2012 05:34 pm (UTC)
omg her uterus has prolapsed three times. that is fucked yo. also her kids are being raised by her other kids because she is eternally pregnant.
specialmei 16th-Feb-2012 06:07 pm (UTC)
D: D: D:
ladyaucifer 16th-Feb-2012 09:16 pm (UTC)
Has it really prolapsed three times? I've never seen anything referencing that....
jeveuxmacaron 16th-Feb-2012 05:34 pm (UTC)
but they do mistreat their children by putting them through particularly sexist modes of upbringing and put a lot of care responsibilities onto them while limiting their exposure to the world

how many kids she has is only one of many problems here
angebleu 16th-Feb-2012 05:35 pm (UTC)
Her older kids take care of her younger kids, I doubt she's neglecting but she doesn't provide one on one love and support. It's like this is my kid that I barely know.
tlcspice 16th-Feb-2012 05:37 pm (UTC)
They can't really even be parents though. They do provide for their kids, but there is no way each child gets enough attention from both parents. Once you aren't the youngest anymore, you are practically handed off to one of the older daughters. It's pretty fucked tbh.
soul_amazinn 16th-Feb-2012 05:37 pm (UTC)
It's really impossible to have a normal parent/child relationship with your kids when you have that many. How do they give each child the attention that they need. The kids are raising each other.
disco_balla 16th-Feb-2012 05:39 pm (UTC)
"seem to be"
"despite having so many"
hola_meg_a_cola 16th-Feb-2012 05:39 pm (UTC)
The oldest girls take care of all the kids while the parents go travel and have more kids. But I guess they care enough about their oldest daughters to send them to some re-education camp when the kool aid wasn't strong enough anymore.
dear_endeavor 16th-Feb-2012 05:40 pm (UTC)
in a child care center the ratio would be at least two adults to take care of 16 children. i would argue that a lot of the older children have missed out on having a childhood because they have played sitter or parent.

it also seems irresponsible on a global level to have 19 children. if each of those 19 children have 5 kids, that is 95 offspring. "She wants more kids; get over it." for those of us concerned with population it, that is a little hard to get over.
grande_latte 16th-Feb-2012 05:41 pm (UTC)
my mom had 6 kids and it was tough for her trying not to neglect us cuz she had to be at 6 different places at the same time.

she was always going and going and never stopping so with 19 kids neglect will happen esp when you are preggers every year and you have a child who needs all the attetnion in the world like the last baby who was born ill
distant_lines 16th-Feb-2012 05:41 pm (UTC)
They don't even raise their children. The children are raised by the older daughters. If you watch, the younger children look so damn confused when she hugs them. Also, they've admitted to blanket training their children in their earlier books. I'm sorry, I think blanket training, where you smack your child's hand or leg or whatever, when the child moves off of the blanket, is mistreating a child. They suck.
baloola 16th-Feb-2012 05:48 pm (UTC)
I agree, just because you don't agree with their values doesn't mean they shouldn't "be allowed" to have more kids. There are a lot worse families out there for sure.
allybally12345 16th-Feb-2012 05:48 pm (UTC)
I can't imagine 19 kids are getting as well looked after as they probably should be. When I was younger my next door neighbor had eight kids and even they struggled keeping an eye on them all the time. We would often find one of their toddlers wandering up the road, or trying to climb into our backyard, or sitting in a diaper full of poo. It isn't necessarily that they were bad parents...it's just that two people can't always keep their eye on so many kids, let alone give them enough love and attention that they will need in a single day.
xtinkerbellax 16th-Feb-2012 05:55 pm (UTC)
She had numerous complications with her last child, and just suffered a miscarriage. She's risking her life by continuously trying to get pregnant.
blessedbell 16th-Feb-2012 06:08 pm (UTC)
actually, she doesn't raise her babies. Her children do. So yes, it is harmful to place a parental burden on children because you can't be bothered to pull out. Get over it.
dirtyknife 16th-Feb-2012 06:30 pm (UTC)
You have low standards for what constitutes as good parenting.
andres01234 16th-Feb-2012 06:34 pm (UTC)
What? He even failed to remember all of his kids' names!
goo82 16th-Feb-2012 06:34 pm (UTC)
They are not good parents. They do not do the parenting. I don't know why people do not read up on them. They only care for a child until it reaches one year. Then that child is passed off to a "buddy" who is in charge of everything for that child. The schooling, music lessons, bathing, feeding ... everything.

This family is awful. I honestly could go on for days about all the horrible shit they do and openly admit to as if it's no problem. They act as though they are able to afford this life because they budget, but they take hand outs like crazy, they claim their house as a church for tax breaks, they accept clothes left by their van when grocery shopping. They can't afford the children they have so they use shady ways about going about it.

She has put herself and her children in danger many times. Doctors have told her repeatedly to stop having kids because it could kill her and the child, yet she just leaves that doctor and finds some hack who agrees with her.

These people are scum.
monster_mutt 16th-Feb-2012 06:36 pm (UTC)
They do neglect their children. The oldest are the primary caregivers for the youngest; in fact, the oldest do the homeschooling for the youngest.
hershelwalker 16th-Feb-2012 06:52 pm (UTC)
lol um
saltireflower 16th-Feb-2012 07:56 pm (UTC)
Na, they're shitty parents.
williammiller 16th-Feb-2012 08:00 pm (UTC)
Except the parents don't take care of the children most of the time - the older girls do.
invisible_cunt 16th-Feb-2012 10:58 pm (UTC)
They seem to be good parents, they don't neglect their children despite having so many

eaux
sweet_honesty 16th-Feb-2012 05:33 pm (UTC)
I agree with her. They need to be there for the 19 children they do have and them continuing to try for more kids is pretty irresponsible, especially considering doctors have warned about the dangers of having more kids
quidscipio 16th-Feb-2012 05:33 pm (UTC)
man this isn't even real shade. shade was what that vs lady said about kate upton's face. this is what everyone is thinking.
hershelwalker 16th-Feb-2012 06:53 pm (UTC)
wait what? what happened?
quidscipio 16th-Feb-2012 07:04 pm (UTC)
lol it was a post last night. the casting director at vs was like lol no i would never hire kate because she's busted and low budget, a page 3 girl or something like that. the vs girls are soooooo much more ~high caliber. lolllll even though kate has apparently done catalog work for vs?
mydogfred 16th-Feb-2012 06:59 pm (UTC)
lmao yes
tlcspice 16th-Feb-2012 05:35 pm (UTC)
Is Jim Bob trying to cover his boner in that picture??
nanewt011 16th-Feb-2012 05:43 pm (UTC)
lol! looks like it!
pippa_middleton 16th-Feb-2012 05:48 pm (UTC)
he probably spotted a pregnant woman in the audience
javamonster983 16th-Feb-2012 06:02 pm (UTC)
LOL
littlecookie 16th-Feb-2012 06:08 pm (UTC)
I literally LOL'd to your comment, thank you!
clubland 16th-Feb-2012 06:36 pm (UTC)
lmao
scarletfbl 16th-Feb-2012 06:40 pm (UTC)
I can't stop staring at your icon. It just keeps getting uglier as I watch it. O_O
theflyingbeet 16th-Feb-2012 10:26 pm (UTC)
lol
heure_actuelle 20th-Feb-2012 07:33 am (UTC)
lol
skeet_skeet 16th-Feb-2012 05:35 pm (UTC)
They piss me off because so many worthy parents struggle to have children and they keep popping out kids that they don't even raise because they make their older children do all the grunt work. It's disgusting imo, nobody needs that many children in this day and age.
xtinkerbellax 16th-Feb-2012 05:55 pm (UTC)
I would resent my parents if I had to raise a bunch of my siblings.
blessedbell 16th-Feb-2012 06:09 pm (UTC)
same.
marywebgirl 16th-Feb-2012 06:13 pm (UTC)
The kids are so brainwashed it doesn't even occur to them to resent their parents. They don't know any other way.
monster_mutt 16th-Feb-2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
I have one younger sibling, 8.5 years younger. From the time he was released from the NICU, I was his primary caregiver. He was a preemie, and luckily qualified for all types of medical assistance (like a daytime nurse) so someone cared for him properly when I had to be at school. I would get home from 3rd grade and take care of him. I cannot imagine having 18 younger siblings. I would've said FUQ DIS SHIT at 17 and skipped town.
muffledlaugh 16th-Feb-2012 06:59 pm (UTC)
Seriously. My mom was one of 10 kids and the second she graduated high school she was out of the house so fast.
halfslytherin 16th-Feb-2012 08:07 pm (UTC)
Same.
innocentanalyst 16th-Feb-2012 07:30 pm (UTC)
IA with everything you said.
massielita 16th-Feb-2012 07:31 pm (UTC)
I've struggled with infertility, and my bff just mortgaged her home for $20,000 so she could try IVF. It is her one and only chance. It's hard not to be bitter and resentful towards this woman when all my friend and I are asking for is 1. :/
orangeandblack 16th-Feb-2012 05:36 pm (UTC)
This family blows my mind, I watch just about all reality tv except this stuff because it upsets me so much.
ginormouspotato 16th-Feb-2012 05:36 pm (UTC)
i honestly wonder how they manage to spend enough time with all those children.
deftonedpiano 16th-Feb-2012 05:37 pm (UTC)
older ones raise the younger ones. it helps they don't have traditional jobs and do homeschooling. when they're around each other 24-7 it helps, I guess?
ladyofshalott06 16th-Feb-2012 05:45 pm (UTC)
From watching some episodes, I'll agree with the person above me. With all the homeschooling and the way the family really does spend all their time together, it's actually kind of amazing how much time each child seems to get--considering how many there are of them (and considering what you probably expected). But genuine quality time between parent and child--without ten other kids interrupting and so on? Pretty much nonexistent. They seem "close" because they spend all their time together but they will never know each other because they have no opportunity to build trust one-on-one and really talk to each other.

/rant
ginormouspotato 16th-Feb-2012 05:47 pm (UTC)
yeah that's what i wonder about. the proper quality time with the parents.
i don't watch the show nor do i know the family so i don't think i can fully comment on their parenting skills, but let's be honest, when you start to reach double digits on the amount of people in your immediate family, you start to wonder how 'close' you all are... :S

that's just me though.
bent_ley 16th-Feb-2012 05:47 pm (UTC)
they dont really. each kid has a 'buddy' that they are in charge of. michelle spends her time with jim bob and the youngest baby
deftonedpiano 16th-Feb-2012 05:36 pm (UTC)
I'm just going to save this comment so I can post it in every Duggar topic evar:

Okay do whatever you want with your body and your reproductive habits, but stop relying on faulty logic.

This is their claim:

God blesses us with as many children as He sees fit.

Okay, right, but you let humanity intervene to assist you through the process. Resewing a prolapsed cervix, what, twice now? Not to mention the Cesarian sections and the assistance with Josie when she was born.

If you're going to pick and choose where God enters this equation (no contraception) and where science, innovation, and people enter the equation (every point after conception), then I cannot fucking take you seriously about your faith because you are inconsistent.

That's it. Have more babies. I hope they're healthy. And I hope the Cognitive Dissonance doesn't hurt too much.
_cheshire 16th-Feb-2012 05:39 pm (UTC)
ia with all of this.
disco_balla 16th-Feb-2012 05:43 pm (UTC)
If you're going to pick and choose where God enters this equation (no contraception) and where science, innovation, and people enter the equation (every point after conception), then I cannot fucking take you seriously about your faith because you are inconsistent.

I find most of these Christian Super Heroes suffer from cognitive dissonance
jimhankmom 16th-Feb-2012 05:54 pm (UTC)
We need to have a ONTD thread about Christian Super Heroes. You guys would have a field day with Vision Forum.
jimhankmom 16th-Feb-2012 05:54 pm (UTC)
>>slow clap<<<<

THIS. Spot on.
wildfawn 16th-Feb-2012 06:22 pm (UTC)
seriously. i hate how "convenient" it is for them to say God is doing everything.

did it ever occur to them that God gave them the knowledge to make use of things like condoms? sigh.
dirtyknife 16th-Feb-2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
IAWTC
monster_mutt 16th-Feb-2012 06:40 pm (UTC)
I really do hope you saved it so you can C&P it for the next Duggar post!

Amen, ITA with everything. But they would argue that God works through those doctors, and God gave them their talents and skills (I don't agree with that, I'm just saying I've actually heard Jim Bob say that before).
hammersxstrings 16th-Feb-2012 06:40 pm (UTC)
i want to print this out and frame it on my wall
scarletfbl 16th-Feb-2012 06:45 pm (UTC)
TLC needs to make this a disclaimer to be played before each show.
andres01234 16th-Feb-2012 06:53 pm (UTC)
I consider myself to be a religious person and I totally agree with you. Plus, don't forget they stopped using birth control because when she was on the pill (of course he wasn't going to wear a condom, he's the man!) they got pregnant and had a miscarriage (probably didn't even know you're not supposed to fuck the day you start taking the pill). So they took that as a sign from God... so now they had another miscarriage and suddenly this isn't a sign (along with the 3 times her uterus collapsed or how her 19th kid almost died)
massielita 16th-Feb-2012 07:32 pm (UTC)
Yes. Just copy paste in every single one, bb, cause it's flawless.
saltireflower 16th-Feb-2012 07:59 pm (UTC)
Yep, exactly. They're actively trying to have as many children as possible. If it was all about what God wanted there wouldn't be this many kids.
iamtheliquorr 16th-Feb-2012 08:34 pm (UTC)
This comment is so, so accurate, not only of the Duggars but a lot of hxc Christians

And this is coming from a Christian
hope_remains 16th-Feb-2012 11:20 pm (UTC)
Ugh, yes! Yes! This should be required to be in every Duggar post tbh.
bienenkiste 17th-Feb-2012 09:46 pm (UTC)
MFTE.
seishin 19th-Feb-2012 03:30 am (UTC)
I want to marry this comment.


(said similar once, in a Gosselin post and got flamed for it. But its fucking TRUE and idgaf.)
bliting 16th-Feb-2012 05:36 pm (UTC)
sort of sounds like a compilation of what is usually said in Duggar posts
shantayustay 16th-Feb-2012 07:19 pm (UTC)
Yeah, but put in a "nice" way.
popaddict 16th-Feb-2012 05:36 pm (UTC)
article didn't throw nearly enough shade imo.
hola_meg_a_cola 16th-Feb-2012 05:41 pm (UTC)
mte Lee Min Ho
monster_mutt 16th-Feb-2012 06:41 pm (UTC)
I love the MIA under Minho
yehyijun 17th-Feb-2012 02:33 am (UTC)
ITA!
annavalentine 16th-Feb-2012 05:37 pm (UTC)
Like they care what the media thinks about their beliefs, just saying.
disco_balla 16th-Feb-2012 05:40 pm (UTC)
They get a ton of free shit because the media at first portrayed them as a devoted christian family. Trust me, they care.
annavalentine 16th-Feb-2012 05:49 pm (UTC)
I guess I meant, "like they'll let what the media thinks change their beliefs".
jeveuxmacaron 16th-Feb-2012 05:40 pm (UTC)
well they obviously do since it brings them ratings. they know their situation is not usual, so they play it up.
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