ONTD

Nic Teeth comalies
4:19 pm - 02/10/2012

Nicolas Cage is not a vampire (probably).

Cage confronted by David Letterman about alleged immortality, denies everything (which is of course what a real vampire *would* do).


Nicolas Cage is not and has never been a time-traveling vampire, he said Thursday on "Late Night With David Letterman," when the host presented him with photographic "evidence" of the aforementioned scenario.


But it appears the "Nic is a time-traveling vampire" story is a bit more undead than Cage himself: It was born last September when an EBay seller posted a Civil War-era photo with the title "Nicolas Cage Is a Vampire/Photo From 1870/ Tennessee" and a starting bid of $1 million.


"My theory is that he allows himself to age to a certain point, maybe 70, 80 or so, then the actor 'Nicolas Cage' will 'die,' " antiques seller Jack Mord of Seattle joked to the Daily Mail back in September. "But in reality, the undead vampire 'Nicolas Cage' will have rejuvenated himself and appeared in some other part of the world, young again, and ready to start all over."


As logical -- ahem -- as that theory might sound, Cage shot it down fairly quickly Thursday, noting that a picture was in fact involved, and "you can't take pictures of vampires."


Duh.


Also, he said, "I don't drink blood, and the last time I looked in the mirror, I had a reflection, so I'm just not going to go with this vampire theory. I'm not going to do it."



I hope Nic really is a vampire so he can continue to make cinematic masterpieces in the coming centuries.


source
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ecctv 11th-Feb-2012 01:07 am (UTC)
Come on, if you ask a vampire "are you a vampire," they're going to say NO unless they're going to kill you.
goldengal1193 11th-Feb-2012 01:08 am (UTC)
Haha
comalies 11th-Feb-2012 01:09 am (UTC)
IKR? Letterman needs to work on his vampire interviewing skills.
ecctv 11th-Feb-2012 01:12 am (UTC)
The whole premise is quite a mess. If you were a vampire AND able to time travel, wouldn't you want to like...relive time with your loved ones? Or maybe stop yourself from becoming a vampire? Or go back in time to suck the blood from dinosaurs or something because they have a lot. If anything he'd stop this story from being leaked to the press.

There are just too many holes in this story.
c_nedra 11th-Feb-2012 01:09 am (UTC)
Exactly. I remain unconvinced.
tiddlywinks103 11th-Feb-2012 01:28 am (UTC)
Exactly.
mhfromnh 11th-Feb-2012 02:11 am (UTC)
or keep you as a personal blood-donor.
goldengal1193 11th-Feb-2012 01:08 am (UTC)
_autonomy 11th-Feb-2012 01:15 am (UTC)
aww, i can't help but feel sad for her here.
pinkfunraven 11th-Feb-2012 01:48 am (UTC)
What happened? What were they asking her?
wonderwomanhero 11th-Feb-2012 01:09 am (UTC)
I AM A VAMPIAH! I AM A VAMPIAH!
deevee45 11th-Feb-2012 01:27 am (UTC)
NOSFERATU!!
jigglemypuff 11th-Feb-2012 01:09 am (UTC)
He should have grabbed Dave by the neck and starting sucking blood, right there on national tv.
nonprofit_whore 11th-Feb-2012 01:10 am (UTC)
it would've been awesome AND gotten rid of letterman
venetianglass 11th-Feb-2012 01:11 am (UTC)
King Russell taught us all that this was NOT the way to handle things.
allgoodtonight 11th-Feb-2012 01:32 am (UTC)
nah, as long as dave's spine remained intact, i think things would work out well enough.
fear_toxin 11th-Feb-2012 03:06 am (UTC)
A+
comalies 11th-Feb-2012 01:12 am (UTC)
If possible, I would love Nic even more than I already do.
waitwaits 11th-Feb-2012 01:10 am (UTC)
lovin' all your icons and gifs bb. I still need to see all of the cinematic masterpiece Vampire's Kiss.


waitwaits 11th-Feb-2012 01:12 am (UTC)
OH SHIT IT'S ON INSTANT NETFLIX AGAIN YES GETTING DRUNK AND WATCHING IT RIGHT NOWWWW
coulditbesatan 11th-Feb-2012 01:19 am (UTC)
already drunk. it's on instant, you say?
comalies 11th-Feb-2012 01:13 am (UTC)
OMG LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE BB!
_xxtom 11th-Feb-2012 01:13 am (UTC)
It's fucking hilarious.
mario_06 11th-Feb-2012 01:29 am (UTC)
Wtf is this?!
por_queeee 11th-Feb-2012 03:02 am (UTC)
Oh fuck guess what I'ma make the boyfriend watch with me tonight?

I hope this is as hilariously awful as it seems.
wonderwomanhero 11th-Feb-2012 01:11 am (UTC)
comalies where is Catherine Parr?

HOW'D IT GET BURNED? HOW'D IT GET BURNED?

I DON'T KNOW!
waitwaits 11th-Feb-2012 01:13 am (UTC)
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
comalies 11th-Feb-2012 01:14 am (UTC)
Oh I deleted it to make room for my Nic icons before I got a paid account lol.

I'm watching The Wicker Man for Valentine's Day. It'll just be me, Nic, Ben and Jerry and it will be fabulous.
wonderwomanhero 11th-Feb-2012 01:16 am (UTC)
WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THAT?
_autonomy 11th-Feb-2012 01:17 am (UTC)
moddchicc 11th-Feb-2012 01:11 am (UTC)
Even though he's related to them and probably sees them all the time, for some reason I actually can't imagine Nic hanging out with all the other Coppolas.
wonderwomanhero 11th-Feb-2012 01:13 am (UTC)
Maybe when he gets drunk he starts to creep on Sofia or something... :(
raised_eyebrows 11th-Feb-2012 01:22 am (UTC)
Probably the other way around, tbh. Who could resist him?
goldengal1193 11th-Feb-2012 01:12 am (UTC)
Kind of hoping this turns into a creepy post.
wonderwomanhero 11th-Feb-2012 01:13 am (UTC)
Me too bb. How should we start?



Edited at 2012-02-11 01:14 am (UTC)
coulditbesatan 11th-Feb-2012 01:21 am (UTC)
Who is this half Idina Menzel, half flawless creature? Is it Maggie Siff?
waitwaits 11th-Feb-2012 01:16 am (UTC)
oooh yes yes

but honestly this should be a Vampire's Kiss watching post
verstand 11th-Feb-2012 01:13 am (UTC)
This and the Keanu thing are my favourites.
hazel_belle 11th-Feb-2012 01:15 am (UTC)
Keanu is immortal.
I swear to things holy
verstand 11th-Feb-2012 01:16 am (UTC)
He has got to be. I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING ELSE.
verstand 11th-Feb-2012 01:14 am (UTC)
"How can I be polite about this? It's a slowed down version of me." Lmao, what the hell, Nic.
wonderwomanhero Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:15 am (UTC)


See anything odd?
comalies 11th-Feb-2012 01:16 am (UTC)
Everytime I do it makes me laugh.
milkchocolat Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:17 am (UTC)
lol i love this pic
hilarious every time
nonprofit_whore Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:17 am (UTC)
lol it took me so long the first time to see it
briknowsbest Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:17 am (UTC)
omg noooooo D: I zoomed in super close on my phone and yelped. ._.
lovedhurtlost Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 03:01 am (UTC)
Are you me? Lol
goldengal1193 Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:17 am (UTC)
HOLY HELL. Scared me.
harborafternoon Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:19 am (UTC)
oh god, that scared me!
voyevoda Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:19 am (UTC)
FUCK SHIT FUCK.

I saw this weeks ago and couldn't figure it out and now I just did.

GAH.
tiddlywinks103 Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:31 am (UTC)
I hate you.
georgie_georgie Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:32 am (UTC)
I REFUSE TO LOOK AT IT. I scrolled down real quick. hahahaha. I'm out of this post cuz it's gonna turn into a creepy post. ah!
mario_06 Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:32 am (UTC)
What is it? I don't get it...
antonia Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:33 am (UTC)
I must have looked at this for 5 minutes without seeing anything. Now I wish I'd just given up...
mario_06 Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:33 am (UTC)
Omg I just saw it and literally through my iPad.

Fail.
deadendqueen16 Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:34 am (UTC)
Holy shit
wikkit_key Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:37 am (UTC)
Holy shit. I jumped.
sparklepixie Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:37 am (UTC)
first few replies are misleading!!! I thought it was something funny!! =(
xo_prettywords Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:40 am (UTC)
first time someone showed me this I thought I was supposed to be noticing that the lamp has two lampshades on it.

seriously two lampshades? that cannot be a thing.
lathwen1 Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:42 am (UTC)
I hate you!!! why would you do that to me!
biktur Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:48 am (UTC)
pinkfunraven Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:49 am (UTC)
Fuck You!
apothecaries Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 01:52 am (UTC)
dnw
ryanchai Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 03:26 am (UTC)
idgi. is this a gif? it hasn't moved at all on my screen? isn't there supposed to be a scary face that pops up or something?
sorya86 Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 03:41 am (UTC)
creepy
sweetthea Re: Look at this picture — 11th-Feb-2012 06:46 am (UTC)
I was going on about the lampshades and then I saw it!
grammaire 11th-Feb-2012 01:16 am (UTC)
God I love love love him.
clothingaddict 11th-Feb-2012 01:17 am (UTC)
Totally in the mood for a creepy post. I'm way behind but I just saw the pilot for American Horror Story and holy crap that was one fucked up family/episode
hazel_belle 11th-Feb-2012 01:17 am (UTC)
love that show
grammaire 11th-Feb-2012 01:23 am (UTC)
You're in for a treat with that show!!!
lathwen1 11th-Feb-2012 01:43 am (UTC)
tip of the iceberg darling.
1337nik 11th-Feb-2012 05:17 am (UTC)
I've been marathoning Walking Dead before it comes back. AHS is next.
oblivious_frog 11th-Feb-2012 01:18 am (UTC)
I know what you are.
jbeans3 11th-Feb-2012 01:31 am (UTC)
SAY IT
icangoforthat 11th-Feb-2012 01:51 am (UTC)
VAMPIRE
lovely_persona 11th-Feb-2012 03:51 am (UTC)
ICE CREAM CAKE.
oblivious_frog 11th-Feb-2012 03:52 am (UTC)
Ghost rider.
bizzycakes 11th-Feb-2012 07:30 am (UTC)
National treasure hunter.
georgie_georgie 11th-Feb-2012 01:18 am (UTC)
An italian vampire? cool I guess.
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