Mayim Bialik Pens A Parenting Book
Since welcoming her sons Miles, 6, and Frederick, 3, actress Mayim Bialik seems to have become the celebrity voice for attachment parenting.
The former Blossom star is open about her parenting decisions, from extended breastfeeding to co-sleeping, and now she's set to share her experience as a mom with the masses in a new book titled Beyond the Sling.
Mayim explains the premise behind the book:
I've become sort of an accidental advocate for attachment parenting, which is a style of parenting that ... basically, the way mammals parent and the way people have parented for pretty much all of human history except the last 200 years or so.
I don't really think that I have any authority to write a parenting book, so basically, I wrote what this style of parenting looks like in our house. I have a neuroscience background -- that's what my doctorate is in -- and I was trained to study hormones of attachment, so I definitely feel my parenting is informed by that.
But the main gist of it is that intuitively we know how to parent. We know when a baby cries it's hard not to pick that baby up, and there's a reason for that. I advocate for natural birth, I advocate for breast feeding, we sleep with our kids, we use baby carriers, but I don't think that I get to tell anyone how to parent. The idea is more 'What are the principles behind these kinds of decisions?" and those (can) inform whatever style of parenting you choose.'
From Blossom to The Big Bang Theory, Mayim is an old pro when it comes to the small screen. But despite her fame, she says that her sons still don't watch TV.
"My older son is 6. We don't have him watch television, so I think his consciousness has not shifted toward thinking of me as a celebrity, because it's not part of his world to watch television like that."
source


Meanwhile, I'm getting an MS in Higher Ed Admin. Eek
hey, ontd
Re: hey, ontd
I kind of want to hand them over to my mom when the time comes and have her work the magic she worked on me, tbh.
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Also, I would like to do a water birth, while standing/squatting instead of lying down, at home if I can, and such. What I've read about those seem to makes sense too.
Still getting a fucking epidural though.
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I do plan on ruining santa for my friends kids. And spoiling them every now and then.
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I mean, I'm a crazy bitch, but I was ~born that way. My upbringing at least made me somewhat tolerable.
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I was brought up in a very hectic, anxiety filled environment. I'm going to be settled somewhere before I adopt, no moving around, no uncertainty, etc.
I have a few years before I'll be ready to adopt, so before then I want my husband and I to go through marriage counseling and stuff to sort out our problems and make sure we're in this before we bring a kid into the picture. I went through hell with my moms divorce from my fucking insane "dad" and then the anger/confusion of her boyfriends who paraded in and out of my life after that and there is no way I am going to knowingly bring a kid into a situation like that.
Basically, I'm going to do my best to give my daughter, whoever she is out there, a happy life that I missed out on. I don't have all of the answers but I know a lot of things I wont be doing to her.
Re: hey, ontd
-i was always told to look things up, i never just had questions easily answered, which made me a lot more independent and a lot smarter, i think
-i was raised to love reading
-punishment was always an option, but it was more for being rude/disrespectful - if i made a mistake, i was taught to learn from them, rather than punished. therefore, i was raised to be polite and respectful, and i learned from mistakes. it was pretty awesome.
Re: hey, ontd
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TOO MUCH FUCKING PRESSURE
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only hopefully a little more stably
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no spanking ever. i want to basically do everything the opposite from what my parents did.
Re: hey, ontd
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I always thought it was something you couldn't really plan too much beforehand, because there's no anticipating what it's actually like to have kids. Other than the obvious things (like, I know I wouldn't abuse them, or spoil them, or feed them as poorly as my parents fed me, or let the tv babysit them...) I figure I'm a smart lady, I know the various ~methods, I'll play it by ear.
Re: hey, ontd
also when i am having a kid i want ALL THE EPIDURALS
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My daughter did not want to breastfeed, and now we found out she has lactose intolerance. So we have to use sensitive formula. I am not at all upset. I pump so she does get some milk from me as well.
She sleeps in a bassinet next to the bed. She does want to be cuddled all the time so we carry her around right now. I am afraid to use the sling. I don't know why.
But I was expecting before pregnancy that my kids would sleep in a crib, in a different room, no sling, fully formula fed, plus painless birth.
I think once you get to the point of becoming and starting off parenthood you will make choices that works for the kid and the parent.
Re: hey, ontd
As it stands, though, there is no way I could handle kids for another 10 years or so. There's no way I'll be a cool young mom (I'm already 25). My mom was 35 when she had me and I like that she was a little older.
Re: hey, ontd
I will try to raise my kids as free from gender stereotypes as possible but it will be hard as the world outside will push them on them anyway.
I wanted them to be openminded, headstrong, independent, responsible, reasonable and loving.
I hope I'll be the kind of mother who will support her children whatever their choices are in life.
Re: hey, ontd
Re: hey, ontd
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That's been my stance since I was like.. ten. If she wants to have a biokid, that's fine, but I don't need a kid to look like me to love it.
I was discussing this with an ex and she got bitchy when I brought it up, said "Well, I need at least two kids. " "...okay, so, adoption, or.." "They have to be mine. I can't love someone else's kid. You can adopt, but I would favor my children."
Re: hey, ontd
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Whenever I tell my parents about my future parenting methods, they tend to disagree. I'm definitely going to enforce a no bullshit policy. I'm not going to go overboard though. Like not let my kids not eat candy or watch tv. Of course I'm going to keep it in moderation but I don't see what's wrong with kids doing those things generally speaking. I'm also going to steer clear against physical punishment (unless it's spanking and even that's at the last resort). ONTD may disagree here but there are much better ways to enforce punishement effectively than hitting your kid.
So yeah. Basically be strict but also very loving and understanding.
Re: hey, ontd
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It's really awesome to read books and have goals and such, but give yourself room to let it go wrong. I had a baby four months ago and all I wanted was to have a natural birth and to breastfeed. I walked a billion miles it seemed every day to make sure I would dilate enough and I ate really well etc... One night, my water broke and I was only 2cm dilated... I didn't even have contractions. They had to give me medication to force the contractions, so right from the get go my natural childbirth was in the toilet.
I was in labor for 12 hours, (which I totally ended up with en epidural,) and only got to 4cm. (You need to be at like 10cm to really start the process.) My baby's heart rate kept dropping, my blood pressure kept dropping, but if they took me off the medicine for contractions, I wouldn't have any. You only have a 24 hour window after your water breaks before it gets really scary, and I'd already used half of it.
Long story short, I ended up with a C Section. The procedure itself caused me to not produce enough milk. Then I got 2 infections in my incision and I ended up on so much medication I couldn't even attempt to breastfeed.
So the only two things I wanted failed immediately. I spent the first month and a half of my daughters life feeling like I had failed her (hormones are powerful things man) and only now, four months later, do I look back on the experience with no guilt at all.
People are assholes to other parents. Mothering is treated like a competition, when really, I think we all just want to make sure our kids aren't on Intervention one day talking about what shitty parents we were.
I completely skipped over the word sons, and wondered who would name their daughter Frederick...
her?
Re: her?
Re: her?
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But still no one can beat James Franco and Julia Stiles who went to get an education while being famous IMO. So much respect.
It doesn't help that one of his professors is currently suing NYU because they allegedly got fired for giving him a bad grade. NYU Lawsuit
I don't care if he's a rocket scientist, I will never admire that pretentious douchebag.
But in essence, I agree with your statement.
Does anyone here ever troll childfree comms like I do? If not, why the hell not, you disgusting breeders?
Basically a place to go to hyperventilate about a child with sticky hands perhaps someday attempting to touch you.
http://childfree.livejournal.com/
http://cf-hardcore.livejournal.com/
If your kid climbs on the counter at a restaurant and starts sticking his hands in stuff while you completely ignore his inappropriate behavior, I'm going to get annoyed (this actually happened a few months ago and the kid was sticking his hands over the partition into the kitchen prep area and touching food that was about to be turned into my dinner).
Kids are like dogs to me - they're cute in theory, but that doesn't mean that I want every kid/dog within a five mile radius jumping on me. Just because I happen to be in the vicinity does not mean I came here to fawn all over your child or dog. People seem to get so offended when you don't automatically tell them how smart/awesome/perfect their (ordinary) kids are.
I know that's my issue with the parents more than the kids, but I can't stand watching those kids turn into the obnoxious delusional entitled idiots you see on reality tv (like the tone deaf contestants on American Idol who insist that Simon is an idiot for not recognizing their special snowflake status and talent).
Edited at 2012-01-01 04:30 pm (UTC)
In all honesty, I am glad that these people don't have children. I don't want more people like them in the world.
Well put, Doctor Blossom. (Not being sarcastic, I like that she was careful not to sound judgmental or preachy about a topic that inspires mostly judgmental and preachy language.)
IA! The comments on this post (not to imagine somewhere else where a larger percentage of readers are parents themselves) would be very different if her wording had been different, something like "this is the kind of parenting I've realised is the best for kids and parents alike, now let me give you some great tips!!".
that's tough to deal with, like being around someone who is depressed/down, though. good luck!
Maybe just talk to her and tell her you noticed she seems down? Dealing with being a new mom is hard, especially if your financial/personal stuff isn't where she thought it would be when she had a kid. Maybe she just needs someone to talk to about it?
I really liked this one, but I forgot what it was called.
Bit embarrassed now that I see how simple the name is....
I admit, I like kids. I hate bratty kids though, and shitty, oversharing parents (hence the initial appeal of the site). But the absolute venom and hatttteee that was in the comments there was too much for me. I'm glad the blog owner started cracking down on some of it.
I didn't read the comment section though.
that was not necessary.