1:45 am - 12/06/2011
Can You Help Him?
Our tipster tells us that the paper is due this afternoon.
Can someone please help poor procrastinating Chester-Chet Haze-Hanks (whose videos and live performances you are hopefully well-acquainted with, or he might blush!) finish his homework so that he can pass Fucksaw Development During the Industrial Revolution or whatever his class is officially called and move forward with his education?
If you're willing to share your notes, you can try him on his Twitter. You can also tweet him your notes one by one.
A Northwestern University student-tipster who's enrolled in the same American history class as Chet Haze—the rapping, acting, West Side (of Evanston)-dominating consequence of Tom Hanks' potent ejaculate—passed along this email that Haze sent across a listserv at 4 AM this morning:
What Up Everybody,
My names Chester Hanks, I'm a junior theater major, but some of you may know me better as "Chet Haze." Or maybe you dont, which would be embarrassing for me.....Anyway, if the sound of receiving this email on your phone woke you up at this hour, I sincerely apologize. Hopefully, there may be a few of you (like me) who for some reason just need to wait until literally the LAST MINUTE to get any work done—this final paper being no exception. I was wondering if anyone had notes from after November 1st to the end of the course on their computer that they would be willing to send my way. It would be much appreciated, and we could possibly work something out as a reward for the generosity. I'm really crossing my fingers on this one. Thanks! Happy studies.
-Chet
Source
Tom Hanks' Son Needs Urgent Help With Final Paper Due Today!!
Can You Help Him?
Our tipster tells us that the paper is due this afternoon.
Can someone please help poor procrastinating Chester-Chet Haze-Hanks (whose videos and live performances you are hopefully well-acquainted with, or he might blush!) finish his homework so that he can pass Fucksaw Development During the Industrial Revolution or whatever his class is officially called and move forward with his education?
If you're willing to share your notes, you can try him on his Twitter. You can also tweet him your notes one by one.
A Northwestern University student-tipster who's enrolled in the same American history class as Chet Haze—the rapping, acting, West Side (of Evanston)-dominating consequence of Tom Hanks' potent ejaculate—passed along this email that Haze sent across a listserv at 4 AM this morning:
What Up Everybody,
My names Chester Hanks, I'm a junior theater major, but some of you may know me better as "Chet Haze." Or maybe you dont, which would be embarrassing for me.....Anyway, if the sound of receiving this email on your phone woke you up at this hour, I sincerely apologize. Hopefully, there may be a few of you (like me) who for some reason just need to wait until literally the LAST MINUTE to get any work done—this final paper being no exception. I was wondering if anyone had notes from after November 1st to the end of the course on their computer that they would be willing to send my way. It would be much appreciated, and we could possibly work something out as a reward for the generosity. I'm really crossing my fingers on this one. Thanks! Happy studies.
-Chet
Source
But whenever I did my own papers, I typically waited until the night before the paper was due and did it all in one sitting, whether that sitting took me a couple of hours or all night. But I never wrote rough drafts; I tended to edit and change things as I went along, so my rough draft was essentially my final draft--and I did fine on my papers.
Common example I see when people are writing for a class that isn't of great interest/a requirement/etc: Someone completely misunderstood the prompt and instead of writing a critical analysis of the symbolism of food in Proud Shoes, they wrote a basic summary of the entire book or they analyzed interracial relationships in the book or something. And now they have a 10 page paper written about the wrong subject, and there's really no way they can tweak it to make it even vaguely near the correct subject.
Like, you really can't do anything with that. Unless they took great notes on nearly everything while reading the book and noticed the symbolism of food along the way and have some good notes on it, they're totally fucked. And I can't help them, and they're wasting my time and theirs.
And it would've taken them maaaaaybe five minutes earlier in the semester to ask their prof/TA/tutor/other student/etc to review the prompt with them.
Ughadlkfjaf those session just make me so angry and sad. If you'd worked on this like ONE DAY EARLIER I could have helped you, but right now the best I can do is go over some bullshit grammatical/spelling/citation errors or we can start an outline on the correct topic from what you might remember about food in the book and you can hope you can get it done in time. IDK IDK IDK.
Maybe you can do it another way and still get great grades but with less stress. Maybe that really is your best way to work. Maybe you'll find some kind of middle ground. Who the hell knows, but the least you can do is try at least once with even some minor assignment.
I've found that I'm similarly happy with the output of either, and each method ultimate takes me about the same energy level, since I do the bulk of the writing in the same way. I've never had a poor grade on a paper.
Also, as an undergrad, I learned in my sophomore year that the best way to get great grades in most English courses is to attend class, take notes, and regurgitate what the TA/prof seems to pontificate. This took out a lot of the challenge to the creative process of writing papers, which makes the "last minute" thing the easier option. This is obviously not true for courses with teachers who are more self-aware, creative writing classes or, what I do now, scientific writing. You REALLY can't procrastinate on science writing. :)