ONTD

1:45 am - 12/06/2011

Tom Hanks' Son Needs Urgent Help With Final Paper Due Today!!



Can You Help Him?

Our tipster tells us that the paper is due this afternoon.

Can someone please help poor procrastinating Chester-Chet Haze-Hanks (whose videos and live performances you are hopefully well-acquainted with, or he might blush!) finish his homework so that he can pass Fucksaw Development During the Industrial Revolution or whatever his class is officially called and move forward with his education?

If you're willing to share your notes, you can try him on his Twitter. You can also tweet him your notes one by one.

A Northwestern University student-tipster who's enrolled in the same American history class as Chet Haze—the rapping, acting, West Side (of Evanston)-dominating consequence of Tom Hanks' potent ejaculate—passed along this email that Haze sent across a listserv at 4 AM this morning:

What Up Everybody,

My names Chester Hanks, I'm a junior theater major, but some of you may know me better as "Chet Haze." Or maybe you dont, which would be embarrassing for me.....Anyway, if the sound of receiving this email on your phone woke you up at this hour, I sincerely apologize. Hopefully, there may be a few of you (like me) who for some reason just need to wait until literally the LAST MINUTE to get any work done—this final paper being no exception. I was wondering if anyone had notes from after November 1st to the end of the course on their computer that they would be willing to send my way. It would be much appreciated, and we could possibly work something out as a reward for the generosity. I'm really crossing my fingers on this one. Thanks! Happy studies.


-Chet



Source
the_landlady 5th-Dec-2011 03:23 pm (UTC)
I think I win.
-Debrief reports including SWOT analysis, Porter 5-forces industry analysis, and 50+ excel charts for both
-4 final exams in Financial Accounting III, Managerial Accounting II, Strategic Analysis, and GEB (capstone class)
-Two personal statements for MBA applications
All due by Friday

Also, I'm moving in 2 weeks.
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jewely 5th-Dec-2011 03:34 pm (UTC)
ugh I'm doing my MBA now, it only gets worse
the_landlady 5th-Dec-2011 03:37 pm (UTC)
Sometimes I ask myself, "Why didn't I major in psychology?"
fever 5th-Dec-2011 06:17 pm (UTC)
do you know anything about psychology above the dumbed down 101 for math/science/etc students?
the_landlady 5th-Dec-2011 08:21 pm (UTC)
I have a minor in psych so I took 16 hours of upper-level psychology classes. They were my GPA boosters.
the_landlady 6th-Dec-2011 01:01 am (UTC)
Umm… OK
teaaet 5th-Dec-2011 03:37 pm (UTC)
dude
lcacbc 5th-Dec-2011 03:55 pm (UTC)
Wow. O__O

Well good luck with that.
hockeychick57 5th-Dec-2011 05:44 pm (UTC)
ugh business. don't miss those classes.
delleve 5th-Dec-2011 06:21 pm (UTC)
I'll pray for you.
stellar_ball 5th-Dec-2011 08:15 pm (UTC)
I have no idea what to write for my personal statement.

"Um...I just need to go to grad school in order to get a job?"
the_landlady 5th-Dec-2011 08:25 pm (UTC)
I wish that would suffice, but I bought this book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0071452990/ref=wms_ohs_product and it's been a great resource. Good luck, bb.
starzangelus 5th-Dec-2011 09:35 pm (UTC)
I'm sending you the bottle of tequila I brought from Mexico instead of to my aunt. I think you deserve it more, bb.
ingridingrid 5th-Dec-2011 09:44 pm (UTC)
I don't understand a word you wrote, clearly you win!
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