ONTD

1:45 am - 12/06/2011

Tom Hanks' Son Needs Urgent Help With Final Paper Due Today!!



Can You Help Him?

Our tipster tells us that the paper is due this afternoon.

Can someone please help poor procrastinating Chester-Chet Haze-Hanks (whose videos and live performances you are hopefully well-acquainted with, or he might blush!) finish his homework so that he can pass Fucksaw Development During the Industrial Revolution or whatever his class is officially called and move forward with his education?

If you're willing to share your notes, you can try him on his Twitter. You can also tweet him your notes one by one.

A Northwestern University student-tipster who's enrolled in the same American history class as Chet Haze—the rapping, acting, West Side (of Evanston)-dominating consequence of Tom Hanks' potent ejaculate—passed along this email that Haze sent across a listserv at 4 AM this morning:

What Up Everybody,

My names Chester Hanks, I'm a junior theater major, but some of you may know me better as "Chet Haze." Or maybe you dont, which would be embarrassing for me.....Anyway, if the sound of receiving this email on your phone woke you up at this hour, I sincerely apologize. Hopefully, there may be a few of you (like me) who for some reason just need to wait until literally the LAST MINUTE to get any work done—this final paper being no exception. I was wondering if anyone had notes from after November 1st to the end of the course on their computer that they would be willing to send my way. It would be much appreciated, and we could possibly work something out as a reward for the generosity. I'm really crossing my fingers on this one. Thanks! Happy studies.


-Chet



Source
theuglycry 5th-Dec-2011 03:22 pm (UTC)
Same, I work best under pressure.
kthx_die_x0 5th-Dec-2011 03:29 pm (UTC)
That's the excuse I use too hahaha
vonlisbon 5th-Dec-2011 03:40 pm (UTC)
Legit curious because I work as an English tutor at a university: Have you ever tried doing it any other way? Probably 75+ percent of people who come in say that's how they work and that they work best that way. I just find it really difficult to believe that people would produce lower-quality work if they spent more time on it.

I'm going to c/p this comment a few times so sorry in advance to everyone. I just really want to know.
vonlisbon 5th-Dec-2011 03:40 pm (UTC)
Legit curious because I work as an English tutor at a university: Have you ever tried doing it any other way? Probably 75+ percent of people who come in say that's how they work and that they work best that way. I just find it really difficult to believe that people would produce lower-quality work if they spent more time on it.

I'm going to c/p this comment a few times so sorry in advance to everyone. I just really want to know.
xtinkerbellax 5th-Dec-2011 03:45 pm (UTC)
I'm sure I'd produce a higher quality of work if I started it earlier, but tbh I find it extremely difficult to get motivated to do something I don't want to do/have no interest in. If it's a subject I really like that's one thing, but by the end of high school I was really burnt out on doing things I hated and had no interest in.
imsweetgetsome 5th-Dec-2011 03:56 pm (UTC)
I'm an English major so I've gotten a little creative but usually, I write my papers at least a week before they're due. At least, I did that in undergrad (I've been lazy in grad school).

I've also written them in a few hours before they were due.

I haven't really noticed a difference grade wise. I rarely get below a B on anything and if I do, it's because I just didn't put enough general effort into that paper. Or the professor was too difficult in his or her grading.

I feel like time does not equal effort given. If I make myself sit down for three or four hours solidly, no internet, no tv, etc etc, I can write a solid paper. I can also write a solid paper over the span of a few days by focusing about an hour a day.
interrobamf 5th-Dec-2011 04:01 pm (UTC)
I really don't think most people would spend more time on their papers, even if they started earlier. I wouldn't. And doing papers piecemeal over time makes me lose my flow of thought and my papers don't end up as tight and concise; I hate classes that make you do papers one portion at a time.

Edited at 2011-12-05 04:02 pm (UTC)
jay_oats 5th-Dec-2011 04:07 pm (UTC)
for me the only way I can get a paper to work is if I write it all in one sitting and the only way that I can motivate myself to do that is with the pressure of the deadline.
childish 5th-Dec-2011 04:08 pm (UTC)
I think the thing is, if you added up the time you spent on the paper - it's the same thing. It takes me five hours to write a paper, but that five hours feels like longer if I write for an hour or two every night with half-concentration (because I know I have all this free time) as opposed to sitting down and being forced to concentrate on solely that for five hours.
kiandra_fire 5th-Dec-2011 04:26 pm (UTC)
I think it depends on how much you like the material, too. When I was in school, I remember writing papers the day of (usually the day before), but then there was one class that I absolutely loved where I went to talk to the teacher about it a week or two before it was due and had already written the 10+ page paper and proofread it twice. I still miss that class.

However, a class in Medieval Lit in Translation? Yeah, no. Nonono. I liked the teacher, but the subject was bleh. The only good thing was reenacting the Nibelungenlied with He-Man and Super Mario action figures.
expromqueen 5th-Dec-2011 04:37 pm (UTC)
i graduated as an english major and i got straight-a's and i definitely worked better under pressure...don't underestimate the ability of an adrenaline rush and panic to get the wheels spinning...when i was in a major time crunch i was able to devote 100% of my energy and thoughts to what i was writing
lost_in_dreamz_ 5th-Dec-2011 04:54 pm (UTC)
I can honestly say I work better doing things at the last minute, and such got me through undergrad and law school. When I start things out in advance, and try to write over time, I completely lose my flow. My writing is disjointed, I have less energy and enthusiasm, the whole paper just lacks a certain oomph to it that the adrenaline of procrastination provides. Papers, for me, just come out better when they're the product of a furied stream of consciousness and racing train of thought.

Anecdotal evidence! I only waited until the last minute once in law school, as opposed to always in undergrad. I wrote a 40 page bioethics paper draft the day before it was due. My prof said it was more than good enough to be a final paper and I got an A+. None of the papers I wrote at an appropriately even and timely pace neared that same elusive A+ quality. Yet in undergrad, where I always procrastinated until the very last moments, nearly all of my papers were A's. Thus, I feel confident to say that for me, it is how I work better.

Edited at 2011-12-05 04:58 pm (UTC)
deathbytamarind 5th-Dec-2011 05:03 pm (UTC)
I'm a journalist so I'm used to writing under deadlines, usually only a day or two. Sometimes I can get papers and assignments done in advance, but typically I'm so loaded with other stuff that needs to be done sooner that when I can shuffle something off to later, I do.

Also, I like to procrastinate, so there's that too. :) But I do well.
gettyupcowboy 5th-Dec-2011 05:29 pm (UTC)
I have and believe me, I produced a shitty as product over time. My papers given 0-3 day spans, I always get a 86+ on it, usually a 92-100 range but I have received a lone 86 due to citation errors.
simr2277 5th-Dec-2011 05:34 pm (UTC)
The couple of times I did outlines and rough draft and plan everything out I got like a high b. Start 3 hours before its due? A!

I think it's because I constantly over think things so if I have time to edit myself I constantly question everything I've written and probably change a whole lot of things that don't need changing.
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