ONTD

1:45 am - 12/06/2011

Tom Hanks' Son Needs Urgent Help With Final Paper Due Today!!



Can You Help Him?

Our tipster tells us that the paper is due this afternoon.

Can someone please help poor procrastinating Chester-Chet Haze-Hanks (whose videos and live performances you are hopefully well-acquainted with, or he might blush!) finish his homework so that he can pass Fucksaw Development During the Industrial Revolution or whatever his class is officially called and move forward with his education?

If you're willing to share your notes, you can try him on his Twitter. You can also tweet him your notes one by one.

More under the cut...Collapse )
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natvach 5th-Dec-2011 05:05 pm (UTC)
This post makes me so, so, so happy I've graduated.


I used to write people's papers for them for $$. I made so much bank around finals time I never even had to have a part-time job.
interrobamf 5th-Dec-2011 05:19 pm (UTC)
I considered that, but then I realized that doing all the legwork of studying the material would be so fucking boring. I settled for editing papers of friends (which got me free meals).
_______awshucks 5th-Dec-2011 05:06 pm (UTC)
I've gotten e-mails like this from people before..imo this is not scandalous at all. He is being sweet about it and admitting he fucked up. I think if he was being a careless douche this would warrant more attention..

Off topic kind of, Colin Hanks can act (I give him props for this season of Dexter even though it's my least favorite season so far)

Edited at 2011-12-05 05:08 pm (UTC)
squalor 5th-Dec-2011 05:09 pm (UTC)
i never understood why people would just stop going to class. my parents were paying out the asshole for me to go to a good college, i never would have even considered not going to class for an entire month.

i guess it's different when money is no option for you family though.
alienclit 5th-Dec-2011 05:11 pm (UTC)
At my school if you miss more than 4 days you automatically fail but most kids take mostly studio classes which you really really shouldn't miss anyway. Plus we're on a quarter system with only 10 weeks of class and 2 classes per week so if you miss more than 4, you miss like 25% of the class.

Edited at 2011-12-05 05:12 pm (UTC)
squalor 5th-Dec-2011 05:15 pm (UTC)
we had a policy like that at my school, miss 3 or more classes and you fail. i don't know how often people failed because of that though
interrobamf 5th-Dec-2011 05:24 pm (UTC)
I coasted by fine in some classes because they put up all of the relevant information online or essentially told us what was on the tests. #kayneshrug
a_way_of_sin 5th-Dec-2011 05:34 pm (UTC)
I don't pay for school but I still feel guilty for missing out if I don't go, but tbh I've been too ill this semester so... sigh finals are gonna be a bitch
xtinkerbellax 5th-Dec-2011 06:39 pm (UTC)
As long as you're passing the classes and don't have to retake them you're not really wasting money.
suwillgetu 5th-Dec-2011 05:14 pm (UTC)
What
kewljules00799 5th-Dec-2011 05:15 pm (UTC)
The worst I ever procrastinated was my junior year of high school, on a 50-page final journalism portfolio project with 50 personal response essays to each piece in my portfolio. I started it at 9 PM the night before. It was due at 12:45 the next day. I finished it, but to this day, I am friends with the random jock guy in my journalism class that I spent the night chatting with on AIM. We each made sure the other didn't fall asleep/we edited each other's pieces. I still procrastinate, but never again have I done it that badly.
alienclit 5th-Dec-2011 05:27 pm (UTC)
Holy fuck 50 pages? I don't know how y'all do it. 4 pages is a struggle for me. Different strokes I guess.
kewljules00799 5th-Dec-2011 05:36 pm (UTC)
It wasn't THAT bad, because they were like 50 mini personal reflections that had to be a page each, but just on stuff like how I thought I'd done on the piece, what I could have changed, why I liked or didn't like the assignment. Thank God it was all personal feelings stuff, I could just BS it. "This assignment really touched me! I felt so in touch with my inner writer!" The worst part was actually the time it took to compile all 50 writing pieces, organize them, design a theme for the portfolio, make divider pages that fit the theme...I'm having, like, PTSD flashbacks just thinking about it...
silentsymphonie 5th-Dec-2011 05:27 pm (UTC)
That's seriously impressive.
a_way_of_sin 5th-Dec-2011 05:36 pm (UTC)
50 pages?

bighype 5th-Dec-2011 07:56 pm (UTC)
HOLY BALLS
cluelessraf 5th-Dec-2011 05:17 pm (UTC)
I would love to know which college student here didn't wait till the last minute juices when it came down for paper deadlines. 'Cuz that's how I got through college.
astormatsea 5th-Dec-2011 05:19 pm (UTC)
i have a paper due today at 5. i woke up around 9ish, finished it about an hour ago, with hours to spare

aaawww yeeeeeeahhh
chikntetrazzini 5th-Dec-2011 05:29 pm (UTC)
Daddy must be so proud.
merenwen17 5th-Dec-2011 05:34 pm (UTC)
I had a project due today, but school got cancelled because of snow.

hell yeah
grande_latte 5th-Dec-2011 05:36 pm (UTC)
Colin is so much better
grande_latte 5th-Dec-2011 05:38 pm (UTC)
10page ppr I have to do due on Thursday and I haven't started

Luckily I found an article with everything I need so ill use that as my source
evett 5th-Dec-2011 05:39 pm (UTC)
If I was him I'd take my trust fund and travel the world forever. Fuck college
mirlos 5th-Dec-2011 05:40 pm (UTC)
my professors are so uptight about their PH.D's. if you don't call them Dr. they get angry at you. idgi. i understand that you have a PH.D. and worked hard to get it, but you're no M.D.
xtinkerbellax 5th-Dec-2011 06:41 pm (UTC)
I hate that. I also hate when people insist on being called by their title when it's not in a professional setting. I don't want to have to call you doctor when we're meetingcasually.
courtkneee1 6th-Dec-2011 05:34 am (UTC)
PHDs had the title Dr before MDs
cupkate 7th-Dec-2011 11:44 pm (UTC)
I'm so going to make everyone call me doctor when I get my PhD. It's going to be awesome.
phnix_daft_mode 5th-Dec-2011 05:42 pm (UTC)
Ew, he looks douchey.
Colin would never.

And speaking of essays, I'm so proud of myself because last night I completed a short essay that's due on Tuesday. I've been procrastinating way too much this semester.
fabuleuxx 5th-Dec-2011 05:43 pm (UTC)
When I entered college I became friends who were terrible students and I always used to help them out to the point where it dragged me down academically. My dad hired a tutor for my econ class and my 'friend' would just take the assignment and copy it word for word. Being that she sucked I never asked her for anything. I did get a cheating warning in that class though so I had to stop giving her the work.

But one day I had forgotten my assignment at home (for a different class) and I was on the way so I just told her can you copy down the questions I remember my answers I just need to fill it out, she acted as if she had no idea what I was talking about. So I called another girl in the class and she told me that she lost her paper too and my friend had TYPED out the questions and she'd forward me the e-mail. After that I became more reserved about my work, especially because of that cheating warning. So she stopped being friends with me and told everyone in our circle of friends that I didn't help her at all. I like to think I'm better off.
a_way_of_sin 5th-Dec-2011 05:45 pm (UTC)
you really are better off, I hate leeches
fabuleuxx 5th-Dec-2011 05:59 pm (UTC)
Like I get that maybe she was running late or didn't feel like typing out the questions but all she had to do was literally forward one e-mail! After all the work I did for her I knew then she was just malicious.
mirlos 5th-Dec-2011 05:49 pm (UTC)
i have this situation this semester. i started ignoring her and she wonders why I'm mad
skky95 5th-Dec-2011 05:52 pm (UTC)
ugh, that sucks. I hope I wasnt like this in college. I will say I was lazy as fuck and bummed notes off of a lot of people. But when I did go to class I was more than happy to sign people in or share my notes (or even test questions if I got tips) :)
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