The Queen is back again with this year’s Thanksgiving Holiday Blog. I have sparked fireworks, gave birth to Weezy’s baby and just finished basting and stuffing the turkey as well as preparing dessert for dinner! Muthafuckas is getting glazed………. I’m bout to go Haaaaaam!!!!!
It’s going in the oven…………….They already been seasoned and marinated! A bitch neck and back is hurting and I am straight pulling they asses out of the oven! I baked Behoooooce’, deep fried them Househoes of Atlanta, broiled Stephen Hill, threw Kim Kardashian and Tyler in the crockpot, pulled out the Wok to stir fry Chris Brown, Reverend Run son Jo Jo and Soulja Boy! Let’s not forget I sautéed Nick and Mariah………. Damn, a bitch got a sweet tooth and had to put homemade lemon icing on the cake! Michelle Obama, a true black Queen and who cares where she decides to shop because Tar-jay is on TOP of the list so don’t act like y’all don’t know……… You Wal Mart shopping, foot dragging ass hoes! Y’all know you don’t do Publix, Fresh Market and Whole Foods on a regular basis, The hood already know you bitches see Food Depot, Kroger and Piggly Wiggly and B-Lo on a daily just like the Queen, so keep shit 100 today!
First out the oven……… Behoooooooce cuz it been a whole lot of gossip about you stealing the Queen’s video! You get it from ya pappy..Matthew stole from you and know you stealing from me…. Now since when you been wrapping your tired, thew and delayed weave up and getting your crusty toe nails polished………Poolside like the QUEEN???? If you were gone steal the Queen’s moves, you could’ve at least called me for the video! Why did you take Andre 3000 out of the video? J Cole….. HATED IT! Anyway, I did see y’all finally got Solange out of jail! She even had tracks all the down her back, I barely recognized her back there DJing……… I guess I had to buy 6 packs of Indian Remy hair just to be in the video? I’m soooooooooooo glad you took the Queen’s advice and had all of Matthew’s daughters in the video and can’t wait to see your daughter and your lil brother in the next video! Lol…….That bitch is done…… Now, pull her ass out of the OVEN!!! Its’s a girl…….Jay-Z needs to name her Khia!!!!!
Chris Brown, I don’t know who you done chopped and screwed but it looks like you good at SCREWING the hell out of all that boy pussy! What happened to you? You are so talented and now It looks like ya boy Soulja Boy is following in your foot steps……… With blonde hair, going upside bitches head and going to jail! What the hell was that fuck shit you had on for Halloween? I hear you even got Rev. Run son Jo Jo fucking boys too……. Jo Jo, I know you saw that Tranny’s balls hanging mid-thigh from the back? Chile boo, that’s not the way to gain your daddy’s approval so parents, keep your children away from New Birth’s Summer Camp, the only thing they know how to do is manipulate young boys to feel like it is perfectly okay for them to spend the weekend ROASTING marshmallows near an open fire!(Chest-nuuuuuuuuuts roasting on open fire……..Eddie Long nipping at their toes) Alabama, be on the look out cause I hear dat Eddie Long is opening up a new church home near you!!!! Once again……..Hide your children cuz fuck niggas is dressing up like pastors and it aint even Halloween, so let’s not be DELAYED!!!!I’ll be damned if I give that bitch my gas and light bill MONEY…… The buck STOPS here!
Speaking of children, Nick Cannon you need to go see Maury cause the hood said…..You are NOT the father..Test- tube babies, and it wasn’t your tube! They say it was that Indian doctor who gave Octo-Mom all of her children!!! Lol What ever happened to the good old fashion fucking with knees on mattresses and legs on shoulders? All of this I want twins and choosing whether you want a boy or a girl at once type shit. Chile Boo, these kids looking funny as hell and not looking like normal children that come from normal fucking! Now see, Brooke Hogan look just like her mammie and pappy with that strong ass face and all. Y’all hoes tubes been tied, clipped, burnt, froze and over the hill and now you wanna go get babies implanted using a turkey baster?? No Deal!!!!!
Speaking off Nick and Mariah.. Mariah, you lying by telling the hood you went to Jenny Craig to lose weight after birthing them martian ass looking babies of yours! Keep it real hoe…You know you had your plastic surgeon on deck to nip and tuck your big ass right after you had them test tube babies, he was right there……. On stand by! Raise your hand class if you lost your weight off the point system? NO, I think……… Not! That also goes for Jennifer Hudson with that Weight Watcher’s scam she got y’all dumb asses doing! Punk said he like his girls FAT, INSECURE and eating six plates……It’s Thanksgiving so EAT hoe!!!! Yall know that’s how all of these PUNKS and SISSYS do, they prey on BIG women for all of they goddamn money….Aint that right Star Jones? Gastric bypass surgery it was or did she get her lap band tightened instead? Did the meals really come in the mail?
Speaking of the mail, they need to start delivering you people’s awards to ya houses! No, better yet to your email! Just slap on the trophy sticker to your wrist cause we getting tired of looking at you bitches on TV(Good Job)! Nicki, you have fallen and you can’t get up and my husband Weezy said he’s not pleased with you and you already know……. I never been!!! Enough of her already, my husband Weezy does deserve the father of the year award presented by me for being the world’s greatest dad by throwing Reginae that fabulous Scorpio birthday party! I was so happy to see you and all the children together, but I still have a bone to pick with you…… You had all your other baby momma’s there and I wasn’t there? I guess you didn’t want your Queen around all them gestures, so I’ll stay home and, “Be your lady, have your baby, cook your dinner and fold your clothes.” Lol Something I haven’t seen any of them Househoes of Atlanta do yet.. To be a housewife, you have to do some cooking, cleanting and folding! That’s why you bitches can’t keep no husband.. And Ne Ne Leaks, that Donald Trump check been gone so stop looking at them 9 million dollar homes cause you ain’t got no money.. Don’t just get half ya mouth fixed.. You ain’t rich bitch! Anybody can buy a Charger can we say, “Challenger”……. Upgrade him, Upgrade him..
And HeShe, stop digging up dirt and building houses cuz your shit gone be foreclosed in 60 days………You weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth, your name aint Nicole Richie! You were a teenage mother just like the rest of us! You came in the marriage with ZERO dollars and you wanna leave with a MIL???? No deal! Phaedra Parks can’t get you out of this one hoe, cuz she aint won a case since Bobby Brown! If her big lip ass can’t get her theiving punk ass husband out of jail what make you think she can get you sommoe goddamn money?
And Ms. Lawrence, I did see his PUNKDIFIED ass at the Jungle and scared to speak knowing you want to be the Queen’s friend! Next time, speak to the Queen I would’ve let you borrow my shoes so you can stop wearing the same boots from two seasons ago! I never liked your Fuck ass anyway…..Stop stealing people shit! Much love Derrick J….Lawrence, go on head and give him his pocketbook back! How many times you gone keep LURKIN around my table and don’t speak? We need to SWOB your Big headed ass to make sure you not the father of Nick Cannon’s children! And speaking of children……….Yup, it only took 60 days for Kim Zolciak to suck, fuck, get pregnant and marry that man for his goddamn money!!!!! Get money bitch…Fuck Jenny Craig, y’all ho needs to get on the Kim Zoliack 60 day diet plan!!!! These Kim’s is something else. Kim, you should have taught Kim Kardashian how to keep a husband for at least 60 Days. I guess Chris was tired of seeing Ray J’s big black dick going in and out of Kim’s throat…Or was it Reggie Bush? You know she got a thang for BIG BLACK COCK !!! I don’t blame you girl cuz the Queen do too! Kim Zolciak do too but when it came to birth that King, she went back to her own people just like Nick Cannon should’ve done so he could’ve had children that look like him. We gone become extinct in a minute……Yall hoes keep running to the abortion clinic and you niggas keep running to the White Women…..Spanish Women…..Asian Women…..And let’s not forget….The men……Boy pussy it is! Isaiah Mustafah already said he want his wife and children to have GOOD hair! Don’t try and take that shit back now nigga cuz you meant every word you said with ya FUCK ass!!!!!!
Speaking Of Kim Kardashian, I hear that Tyler Perry has casted this tramp and still hasn’t called the Queen and I’m right here in Atlanta! You mean to tell me that Ms. Perry spent air fair for this bitch to come shoot a movie in Atlanta? I thought she was real? I thought he said he been through the struggle and had the nerve to put this whore in his movie? Done went on Oprah trying to pull the sympathy card claiming to be raped and molested to justify that he loves boy pussy. We all know you like to hire young water boys as interns and assistants so keep it 100 today if that’s what you like, then that’s what you like! You weren’t sleeping in them cars by yourself!
As a matter of a fact, I could’ve sworn I seen your lose booty ass at the jungle! Yes, as a matter of a fact I did……Sophia McIntosh, the bitch you stole Madea from! See, that sissy knows better and I’m a little sick of Ms .Perry casting these fake hoes instead of giving a hood Queen a chance to shine.. You need to be Madea full time and Ms. Perry part time because cause Madea would have cast a hoe! Where are all the real black directors and producers when you need them? Holla at the Queen and let’s shoot some real movies, a bitch got scripts all day! Spike Lee…….Where ya at???? Better yet, Where is Chrissy who monkey stomped that hoe on Love and Hip Hop or Nastashia from The Bad Girls Club. Lil Webbie, leave Terrance alone cuz you know that’s a pretty punk that’s been Steven Hill from BET piece of boy pussy for a minute now!!!!! Steven Hill, I know exactly where you was for the EBT Card Awards!!!! Your fuck ass was at the W Hotel on W. Peachtree Street with Puffy, Devine Stevens, Nas and TI playing sword fighters with hard dicks…..Dick all in ya lower backs in the buck trying to get a buck, selling adds and ass.. When did nigga’s start putting legs on top of nigga’s shoulders?? Kilt wearing ass nigga’s!!!!!!
Michelle Obama shops at Target just like the Queen……. Barrack Obama might be a mixed breed but went out and got him real black Queen but you fuck nigga’s go get these hoes with what they consider having…… Good hair! Y’all must want high yellow ass babies? The blacker the baby, the more beautiful they are so hang yourself nigga! I want my baby to be black as Peterful Peter! Peter told Phaedra’s pussy-pink ass husband to bust a move and Peter is gone do just that! Y’all go check out Bar One the next time you in the ATL! Peterful……Peter……Yes, that black Peter!
Now that everyone has been served, the Queen is ready to lick her lips and pour the hot caramel icing all over Floyd Mayweather’s body! I’m a looking forward to the fight next year…..The Queen will be front row waiting…..The Money Team….Get Money Bitch!!!!!!!!!
And for the Saggitarius King………..I am going to have several seats!!!! I see you took the Queen’s advice and got a new set……..It’s cuuuuuuuuute!!!!! You damn right I’m at the top and that other bitch is at the BOTTOM! Tell mama the Queen said heeeeeeeeeey cuz we know her house was thick for Thanksgiving! Why didn’t she fix the Queen a plate? Let’s keep it cute…..Ole hoes can get roasted too, Indian style on the floor and back to working at Wal Mart she go!
Yall be on the look out for the new album Motormouf aka Khia Shamone coming soon ! For bookings and availability, the Queen can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or 404-202-7238! I told yall I am full of surprises and never know when I will bless my fans with comedy at its best……I am officially the Queen of Hood Media!!!!! Get Money Bitch!!!!