12:22 pm - 11/02/2011

thirteen movie poster trends that are here to stay and what they say about their movies


1. Tiny People On the Beach, Giant Heads in the Clouds

These movies are always sappy dramas. Do not allow you to be mislead by the trailer or calibre of the people involved into thinking otherwise. The protagonist/his little brother/father and/or love interest is very likely to end up dead. You probably should keep your tissues handy because you'll cry tears of sorrow, tears of joy, tears because you just wasted 13 dollars on this movie. This sort of poster is inevitably used for anything that involves Nicholas Sparks.

It was requested that this post should be edited down So edited down it was.

2. Sexy Back (Most Likely to Contain Weaponry)

Posters here
The movies that use this sort of poster will feature a lot of action with a thin veneer of pretentious intellectual posturing. Unless it's a biopic about Johnny Cash.

3. Back to Back

Posters here
These poster are used for rom-coms that lean more on the comedy side of things. You shall not go into these with high expectations, especially if you already spied Kate Hudson or Reese Witherspoon on the poster.

4. The Bed

Posters here
The ultimate false advertising - these movies that use The Bed will feature very little sex and a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of talking.

5. I've Got My Eye On You

posters here
There is 98 percent chance that these movies this will be horror. One way or the other.

6. Nature is Blue

Posters here
Using blue/picture of planet Earth for nature-themed movies is apparently mandatory. They'll kick you out of the entertainment business if you use any other color.

7. Black/Orange

Posters here
Black/Orange is the other blue/orange of the action movie when the action movie isn't using blue/orange. Just in case you forgot that there will be explosions.

8. Run For Your Life

Posters here
Apparently all action heroes run through the same blue-lit, narrow alleyway when trying to escape/catch the bad guys. It's also possible that graphic designers just re-use the same stock image of the running guy over and over again. The movies themselves are pretty similar to the Black/Orange ones except that all the explosions have been replaced with angst.

9. Legs Wide Spread

Posters here
Unlike the Bed poster trend, not so much false advertising here. However of the 42 movies on display here, only one has any sort of critical acclaim. You do the math.

10. Is That Your Face Or Are the Drugs Kicking In?

Posters here/a>
You'll notice the attempt of originality here even with the
Dali (NSFW) rip-off. This means that you'll have to tread carefully here. It's very likely that the filmmakers think they're brilliant and original, regardless of reality.

11. The Red Dress Never Goes Out of Fashion

Posters here
Women in red dresses are sexy and are going to sell tickets. It's an enduring trend. Warning for the faint-of-heart: These movie will feature women in prominent roles. Maybe even downsized WHORES OF BABYLON. So....

12. The Rip-Off

Posters here
These are supposed to either remind you of another (and much better) movie or outright trick you into believing you're actually getting this other movie at the videostore.

13. Text In Your Face

This trend is fairly new, so this is basically a lot of bandwagon marketing. But in this case the typeface and the way it's arranged on the poster at least gives you an idea of the amount of artistic pretention involved.

So here's a handy guide:

What the text looks like: What it means: What movies:
any sort of Trajan-type of font this movie is super-commercial Thor, Fracture
shitty lettering/arrangement/spacing or hand-writing high likelihood of suck Urban Legends 2, The Spirit, that Uma Thurman movie, The Adjustment Bureau, Morning Glory
the movie title is as large or larger than the tagline mediocre mess unless it involves Tilda Swinton Rambo, The Player, Prince of Persia, Brotherhood, Salt, I'm Here, Brotherhood
the text does not cover the face properly the movie will be equally half-assed The Informant, Australia
uses the Futura typeface attempt to appear cutting edge by ripping off Barbara Kruger or simply bandwagoning. These movies want all the awards. The Social Network, The King's Speech
Tilda Swinton is mentioned on the poster Tilda is a goddess and can do no wrong Michael Clayton, I Am Love

source of the poster compilations. His name is Robert Paulson Christophe Courtois
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fruitariyum 2nd-Nov-2011 10:11 pm (UTC)
"12. The Rip-Off"

idk, sum of those just look like ~~homages 2 me
wonderwomanhero 2nd-Nov-2011 10:12 pm (UTC)
By that Uma Thurman movie are you referring to the flawlessness that is Kill Bill?
para1 2nd-Nov-2011 10:16 pm (UTC)
No, that's The Accidental Husband with Javier Downey Morgan and Colin Firth.
wonderwomanhero 2nd-Nov-2011 10:23 pm (UTC)
panic_strickenr 2nd-Nov-2011 11:09 pm (UTC)
lolol javier downey morgan.
lydzlee 3rd-Nov-2011 01:04 am (UTC)
Loved the ending scene though. Thought it was sweet.
go3x Nah, Kill Bill poster was actually pretty original3rd-Nov-2011 01:08 am (UTC)
rampant_geekery 2nd-Nov-2011 10:12 pm (UTC)
Lord of War is one of the coolest movie posters imo.
luvallthis 3rd-Nov-2011 03:22 am (UTC)
sadisticsidhe 2nd-Nov-2011 10:13 pm (UTC)
Truer list never created.
rainbowchelita 2nd-Nov-2011 11:35 pm (UTC)
This is Illuminati shit for reals..
they're controlling the world!!!
imthelonely_one 2nd-Nov-2011 11:58 pm (UTC)
ectypes 2nd-Nov-2011 11:55 pm (UTC)
Ikr, this is the best shit ever
hypermuseic9 2nd-Nov-2011 10:13 pm (UTC)
Tilda is a goddess and can do no wrong
of course
kisswithatear 2nd-Nov-2011 10:29 pm (UTC)
thats all that needs to be said about this post.
clockspiders 2nd-Nov-2011 10:54 pm (UTC)
Truer words have never been spoken.
icangoforthat 2nd-Nov-2011 11:41 pm (UTC)
createconfusion 3rd-Nov-2011 12:08 am (UTC)
most important part of this post
danne_gerous 3rd-Nov-2011 02:30 am (UTC)
Best part tbh
kanimaki 15th-Nov-2011 01:45 am (UTC)
This. I love the OP's appreciation of Tilda Swinton.
dance 2nd-Nov-2011 10:13 pm (UTC)
lmfaoooooooo. what in the kleptonce hell?
ecctv 2nd-Nov-2011 10:13 pm (UTC)
Always read the line under the quotes praising the movie, sometimes it is some random no name paper or website. Or they're all from one.
sparkfactory 2nd-Nov-2011 10:14 pm (UTC)
I swear I saw one on tv once and the quote source was "Sarah from Myspace" but nobody believes me =(
crucified 2nd-Nov-2011 10:15 pm (UTC)
omg lmfao
my_cat_is_grey 2nd-Nov-2011 10:18 pm (UTC)
I saw one from a random Twitter account! So I believe you.
treebraids 2nd-Nov-2011 10:23 pm (UTC)
I think it was a canadian movie. all the comments were from social networking sites.
piratesswoop 2nd-Nov-2011 10:24 pm (UTC)
lmao i remember this actually
fffireburns 2nd-Nov-2011 10:16 pm (UTC)
Yes! this is why I hate it when some movie adverts use quotes but don't put the source.
boltonlove 2nd-Nov-2011 10:19 pm (UTC)
yeah, it's usually some random radio station in Minnesota or something..
kwikimart 2nd-Nov-2011 10:20 pm (UTC)
glittergunshot 2nd-Nov-2011 10:23 pm (UTC)
I love misquotes / taking critics quotes out of context the best.
lickety_split 2nd-Nov-2011 10:34 pm (UTC)
The best is when they take one sentence from a scathing review and pass it off as positive critical acclaim in the ads.
clockspiders 2nd-Nov-2011 10:56 pm (UTC)
The adverts for 'One Day' here are hilarious. They use no names and a lot of ellipses.
quiet_storm 2nd-Nov-2011 11:13 pm (UTC)
I always think about the quotes or words used being taken out of context like "a rip-roaring movie....but essentially a pile of crap" and they only use the first part. Idk, bad example but it always makes me laugh.
rareouldtimes 2nd-Nov-2011 11:14 pm (UTC)
very no-name critics will rave about a shitty movie in order to get their name on a poster or commercial.
likegunfire 2nd-Nov-2011 10:13 pm (UTC)
floating heads in movie posters kill me
i always lol when i see them
hollis1975 3rd-Nov-2011 06:05 pm (UTC)
for my daughters first communion pics i had the photographers put in a floating jesus head for the lulz.
my parents werent amused
deseti_prsten 2nd-Nov-2011 10:15 pm (UTC)
Blue/orange shit is all over this post and so goddamn noticable.

It's pretty amazing to see the similar posters all together. The giant heads/tiny people thing is probably what annoys me the most.
deseti_prsten 2nd-Nov-2011 10:17 pm (UTC)
According to this, I am apparently a sucker for black/orange & run for your life type films. I don't mind.
jackpeyton 3rd-Nov-2011 07:35 am (UTC)
big heads/little ppl on beach sucks me in. every time.

so does the bed.
ahkna 2nd-Nov-2011 10:15 pm (UTC)
This is a good list
simprov 2nd-Nov-2011 10:15 pm (UTC)
lol the head clouds one always make lol because there's a picture of my dad like that except his head is floating over a tiny him golfing
my_cat_is_grey 2nd-Nov-2011 10:18 pm (UTC)
yousaidlog 2nd-Nov-2011 10:25 pm (UTC)
hahaha omg.
screamofwheat 2nd-Nov-2011 10:49 pm (UTC)
peegilita 2nd-Nov-2011 10:49 pm (UTC)
rhapsodeeinblue 2nd-Nov-2011 10:52 pm (UTC)
tundrabeast 2nd-Nov-2011 11:07 pm (UTC)
simprov 2nd-Nov-2011 11:28 pm (UTC)
I would but I'm at my dorm and its at home 2 hours away :/
kaelstra 2nd-Nov-2011 11:23 pm (UTC)
I really want to see this now.
itsrelaxicab 2nd-Nov-2011 11:44 pm (UTC)
I'm picturing it and laughing sfm rn
jinnycalderone 2nd-Nov-2011 10:15 pm (UTC)
whoah, i never thought about posters this way. woww
crucified 2nd-Nov-2011 10:15 pm (UTC)
lol I love this list.
isntdaveone 2nd-Nov-2011 10:16 pm (UTC)

the re-release cover makes me rage.

lilienveigh 2nd-Nov-2011 10:17 pm (UTC)
i love this movie sm
stylista_11 2nd-Nov-2011 10:17 pm (UTC)
xbellaxmiax 2nd-Nov-2011 10:19 pm (UTC)
davejohn 2nd-Nov-2011 10:20 pm (UTC)
back when vampires didn't sparkle...those were the times
kwikimart 2nd-Nov-2011 10:27 pm (UTC)
suspiriorum 2nd-Nov-2011 10:35 pm (UTC)
What's hilarious is that Mae should be the one with the pale skin and amber eyes, since she preyed upon Caleb.

That new cover worked, though. I've found Twilight fans who completely fell in love with Near Dark.
brownxeyedxdork 2nd-Nov-2011 10:35 pm (UTC)
I love Near Dark! :D
hypermuseic9 2nd-Nov-2011 10:36 pm (UTC)
juanbomb 2nd-Nov-2011 10:51 pm (UTC)
Dead @ them making the new cover all Twilight-esque. Barf.

The original is amazing, just like the movie.
rhapsodeeinblue 2nd-Nov-2011 10:52 pm (UTC)
lol what
fraubluecher 2nd-Nov-2011 11:44 pm (UTC)
WTF I can't buy this shit.
hangthemj 3rd-Nov-2011 03:28 am (UTC)
what a fucking awesome movie
jrs1980 3rd-Nov-2011 07:47 am (UTC)
LMAO...the Buffy movie BD release did the same thing:

smolderhotter 3rd-Nov-2011 06:22 pm (UTC)
that left cover doesn't make sense. I thought it was a yoga ad
likegunfire 2nd-Nov-2011 10:16 pm (UTC)
the absolute WORST is blurry face
frankenmutt 2nd-Nov-2011 11:18 pm (UTC)
that is some basic-ass font
luvallthis 3rd-Nov-2011 03:23 am (UTC)
thewadingegret 3rd-Nov-2011 12:24 am (UTC)
I loved this film.
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