thirteen movie poster trends that are here to stay and what they say about their movies


1. Tiny People On the Beach, Giant Heads in the Clouds

These movies are always sappy dramas. Do not allow you to be mislead by the trailer or calibre of the people involved into thinking otherwise. The protagonist/his little brother/father and/or love interest is very likely to end up dead. You probably should keep your tissues handy because you'll cry tears of sorrow, tears of joy, tears because you just wasted 13 dollars on this movie. This sort of poster is inevitably used for anything that involves Nicholas Sparks.

It was requested that this post should be edited down So edited down it was.

2. Sexy Back (Most Likely to Contain Weaponry)

Posters here
The movies that use this sort of poster will feature a lot of action with a thin veneer of pretentious intellectual posturing. Unless it's a biopic about Johnny Cash.

3. Back to Back

Posters here
These poster are used for rom-coms that lean more on the comedy side of things. You shall not go into these with high expectations, especially if you already spied Kate Hudson or Reese Witherspoon on the poster.

4. The Bed

Posters here
The ultimate false advertising - these movies that use The Bed will feature very little sex and a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of talking.

5. I've Got My Eye On You

posters here
There is 98 percent chance that these movies this will be horror. One way or the other.

6. Nature is Blue

Posters here
Using blue/picture of planet Earth for nature-themed movies is apparently mandatory. They'll kick you out of the entertainment business if you use any other color.

7. Black/Orange

Posters here
Black/Orange is the other blue/orange of the action movie when the action movie isn't using blue/orange. Just in case you forgot that there will be explosions.

8. Run For Your Life

Posters here
Apparently all action heroes run through the same blue-lit, narrow alleyway when trying to escape/catch the bad guys. It's also possible that graphic designers just re-use the same stock image of the running guy over and over again. The movies themselves are pretty similar to the Black/Orange ones except that all the explosions have been replaced with angst.

9. Legs Wide Spread

Posters here
Unlike the Bed poster trend, not so much false advertising here. However of the 42 movies on display here, only one has any sort of critical acclaim. You do the math.

10. Is That Your Face Or Are the Drugs Kicking In?

Posters here/a>
You'll notice the attempt of originality here even with the
Dali (NSFW) rip-off. This means that you'll have to tread carefully here. It's very likely that the filmmakers think they're brilliant and original, regardless of reality.

11. The Red Dress Never Goes Out of Fashion

Posters here
Women in red dresses are sexy and are going to sell tickets. It's an enduring trend. Warning for the faint-of-heart: These movie will feature women in prominent roles. Maybe even downsized WHORES OF BABYLON. So....

12. The Rip-Off

Posters here
These are supposed to either remind you of another (and much better) movie or outright trick you into believing you're actually getting this other movie at the videostore.

13. Text In Your Face

This trend is fairly new, so this is basically a lot of bandwagon marketing. But in this case the typeface and the way it's arranged on the poster at least gives you an idea of the amount of artistic pretention involved.

So here's a handy guide:

What the text looks like: What it means: What movies:
any sort of Trajan-type of font this movie is super-commercial Thor, Fracture
shitty lettering/arrangement/spacing or hand-writing high likelihood of suck Urban Legends 2, The Spirit, that Uma Thurman movie, The Adjustment Bureau, Morning Glory
the movie title is as large or larger than the tagline mediocre mess unless it involves Tilda Swinton Rambo, The Player, Prince of Persia, Brotherhood, Salt, I'm Here, Brotherhood
the text does not cover the face properly the movie will be equally half-assed The Informant, Australia
uses the Futura typeface attempt to appear cutting edge by ripping off Barbara Kruger or simply bandwagoning. These movies want all the awards. The Social Network, The King's Speech
Tilda Swinton is mentioned on the poster Tilda is a goddess and can do no wrong Michael Clayton, I Am Love

source of the poster compilations. His name is Robert Paulson Christophe Courtois
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