4:59 pm - 10/03/2011
Do this. Go to Google and type in “Is [celebrity name] gay?”. You may actually get an answer. Google seems to have (silently) rolled out a sexual orientation determinator. Give em’ a celeb, and it (sometimes) searches out anything mentioning that person’s sexual orientation, aggregates the data, and it “guesses” them a team. Why? Because Google knows humanity is ENDLESSLY fascinated with what famous people are up to in the sack.
The problem is that the ones we know are sucking dick don’t pop up! We tried Kevin Spacey, John Travolta, Taylor Lautner (oh, come now), Cruise, etc. Those stars don’t appear, but out celebrities (Elton John), straights, and a smattering of semi-out celebs (Jodie Foster) do. What does this mean?
It means that it’s a massive conspiracy! Google OBVIOUSLY approached all of the closeted actors in Hollywood and threatened to add them to their Google Gaydar as “gay” unless they funded Google +. Because Google + doesn’t seem to have any actual function, amiright? So they couldn’t get any backers, and needed the cash!
Yes, the flaw in that theory (“the” flaw, you ask? There’s only one?) is that these guys aren’t appearing at all. Wouldn’t it be better for their closet case status if they came up as “straight” in this fun little tool?
There’s an obvious answer! It’s because Google knows their credibility would be blown if Anderson Cooper or Queen Latifah came up as hetero. Everyone would laugh and switch to Bing. Hell, if Will Smith came up as straight, we’d start using Yahoo.
sauce
google gaydar!
Do this. Go to Google and type in “Is [celebrity name] gay?”. You may actually get an answer. Google seems to have (silently) rolled out a sexual orientation determinator. Give em’ a celeb, and it (sometimes) searches out anything mentioning that person’s sexual orientation, aggregates the data, and it “guesses” them a team. Why? Because Google knows humanity is ENDLESSLY fascinated with what famous people are up to in the sack.
The problem is that the ones we know are sucking dick don’t pop up! We tried Kevin Spacey, John Travolta, Taylor Lautner (oh, come now), Cruise, etc. Those stars don’t appear, but out celebrities (Elton John), straights, and a smattering of semi-out celebs (Jodie Foster) do. What does this mean?
It means that it’s a massive conspiracy! Google OBVIOUSLY approached all of the closeted actors in Hollywood and threatened to add them to their Google Gaydar as “gay” unless they funded Google +. Because Google + doesn’t seem to have any actual function, amiright? So they couldn’t get any backers, and needed the cash!
Yes, the flaw in that theory (“the” flaw, you ask? There’s only one?) is that these guys aren’t appearing at all. Wouldn’t it be better for their closet case status if they came up as “straight” in this fun little tool?
There’s an obvious answer! It’s because Google knows their credibility would be blown if Anderson Cooper or Queen Latifah came up as hetero. Everyone would laugh and switch to Bing. Hell, if Will Smith came up as straight, we’d start using Yahoo.
sauce
Google is always all "Best Guesses for ________'s girlfriend/wife is _________
and then i single tear.
it came up with wiki first
also i think this is a shitty idea; it's so strange that google would concede to their users on something like this; being gay/straight is such a personal thing, and i feel so bad for gay celebrities who are forced to come out before they want to. i don't like that google is participating in that whole outing culture.