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3:19 am - 09/30/2011
Ron Jeremy: Coming to a College Campus Near You
So tonight I was having a drink (or 12) at my local college tavern, when all of a sudden I see famous porn star RON JEREMY climbing up onto the bar. Naturally, I started snapping photos...
As it turns out, Ron was promoting his new rum, Ron de Jeremy.
He had this to say about it:
"Captain Morgan has one leg. Ron de Jeremy has three."
Indeed.
He was very nice, offering to let us sloppy, desperate-to-get-fucked-up-by-any-means-n
He did give off a bit of a creepy uncle vibe (he called my roommate "baby"), but he was very friendly and generous with his hooch, which is really all I can ask for from a retired porn star.
Sources:
my iPhone
xxx
As it turns out, Ron was promoting his new rum, Ron de Jeremy.
He had this to say about it:
"Captain Morgan has one leg. Ron de Jeremy has three."
Indeed.
He was very nice, offering to let us sloppy, desperate-to-get-fucked-up-by-any-means-n
He did give off a bit of a creepy uncle vibe (he called my roommate "baby"), but he was very friendly and generous with his hooch, which is really all I can ask for from a retired porn star.
Sources:
my iPhone
xxx
he looks like that dog in the Goosebumps intro
length or girth: go!
and lol at ron de jeremy, so fancy~
It's okay... you can tell us.
Well, well what a surprise!
or amaretto sours
Or Margarita or strawberry daiquiri. Mm.
Drink! Now!
"hi. how's it going?
had a fun week so far?
been up to much or anything planned for the weekend?
hot pics. looking good there.
have something here you may like. BUT...i warn you, if erotica is not your thing, i'd stop reading now if i were you. if it is, hope u enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it. it's just a bit of fun, don't take it TOO seriously. lol ;)
can just imagine stripping u down to your underwear. swollen cock and hot dark crack concealed in the cotton cage. waiting for me to run my hand over your bulge. feel my hot breath on your throat, and my own bulge pressed up against you. peeling down your undies as your cock springs out, turning u around and pressing my hot solid stalk firm against the cotton stretched across your cheeks, slowly pulling it down til my pulsating prick pops between your bare cheeks finally. rubbing my prick between your cheeks teasing your hot hole. til my head comes to rest against your tight star pushing against it til it punctures u and slips deep down inside. mmmm. can almost feel those warm hot cheeks wrapped around me now.
love to control you in the sack too. take over and lead u. watch u slowly strip for me, one item at a time til your standing before me in your tight white undies and socks. admiring the curve of your gradually swelling cock in your briefs. beckoning u to come closer. i'm sitting in front of you as you stand close to me, gasping as u feel my index finger for the first time, as it traces the line of your prick in your pants. gently brushing your cock head over the cotton cage as it twitches at my touch. seeping a little pre into a growing moist patch. my finger sliding over the patch, gathering your juices on my fingertip and tasting the sweet sap. grasping your waistband i lower your briefs over your cock, springing out to greet me, i grasp it and kiss your tip, licking at your moist slit, lips slipping over your helm, engulfing your hot pulsating prick in my warm wet mouth.
i turn you around and ease down your briefs at the back, until they stretch between your thighs, massaging your buns, flashes of your sweet pink star as your cheeks part and close. finally pulling them apart for a fuller look, watching it pucker for me. begging for attention. pleading with me to press my finger to it. licking my finger and running it over your pre soaked cock to lube its tip i press my index finger to your ring and work in the mingled sap and spit as u groan at my touch, your ass pushing back a little signalling its approval and begging for more.
i press my face to the insides of your cheeks, feeling the warmth of your ass on my cheeks as my tongue slides from between my lips and glides over to your pink star. its warm wet tip first probing then prodding and stabbing at your star. u groan and writhe more and more arousing me to action and i stand up and push u down on my bed, pants still around your thighs and pull down my pants and climb on top of you, my cock resting between your cheeks, sliding up and down your crack for a moment before my tip comes to rest on your rim, firm against your star, teasing you with a little firm push now and again. driving u wild, your ass bucking and wanting me inside. i listen to your moans of pleasure and desire and i lower my body down its full weight forcing my cock to penetrate you and pushing deep down inside as u bite your lip and gasp, my throbbing meat sliding all the way down and parting your hole, easing it wider and wider the further it goes. motioning up and down with your ass as i begin to work your tight aching slot.
oops...i've gone too far again. hehe! ;)
What the fuck
turning u around and pressing my hot solid stalk firm against the cotton stretched across your cheeks, slowly pulling it down til my pulsating prick pops between your bare cheeks finally. rubbing my prick between your cheeks teasing your hot hole. til my head comes to rest against your tight star pushing against it til it punctures u and slips deep down inside. mmmm. can almost feel those warm hot cheeks wrapped around me now.
turning u around and pressing my hot solid stalk firm against the cotton stretched across your cheeks, slowly pulling it down til my pulsating prick pops between your bare cheeks finally. rubbing my prick between your cheeks teasing your hot hole. til my head comes to rest against your tight star pushing against it til it punctures u and slips deep down inside. mmmm. can almost feel those warm hot cheeks wrapped around me now.
I'm jelly, tbh. I want PMs about my tight aching slot.
but i find this stuff super lolsy anyways
dead @ cotton cage
that's what i'm calling my underwear from now on
I did lol irl @ cotton cage, tho.
I like rum but vodka is the only liquor I drink straight.