ONTD

january satanuaryjones
12:04 pm - 09/16/2011

Gaga's hairstylist quits, releases shocking statement

When he comes to me I am ready.



...He also stated she would stare at him when he cut with the scariest of eyes. The devil's eyes. Michael Pooter, who cut her hair since January 2010, said in a interview for "Stylists of the Whores" magazine that when he confronted her about it, she told him she would eat his children if he ever told anyone....



"She was usually liquored up on cheap whiskey when she came in for treatment. One day, when she was mumbling more than normal, which I found out later was her actually speaking in tongues, I saw the number 666 on her scalp and I quickly asked for God to protect me. She rose up out of her chair and floated 3 feet above the ground while yelling....."



"YOUR GOD IS NOT HERE MICHAEL. NOR WILL HE EVER BE. NOW GIVE ME SOME MORE HIGHLIGHTS AND TRIM MY BANGS YOU WORTHLESS *beep*"



Michael, recently took his family and is living in an undisclosed location for the protection of his family.

Source


praying for gaga's career rn
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Leave a Comment
brenden 16th-Sep-2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
omg this post this source have fun lmfao
demi32 16th-Sep-2011 07:16 pm (UTC)
lol Thanks for bringing that to my attention Brenden. My head was spinning reading that. I was like wth!!!!!!
vanishingbee 16th-Sep-2011 07:33 pm (UTC)
it's like the ultimate reward for yesterday's rules

<333333
ani_di_franco 16th-Sep-2011 07:44 pm (UTC)
ani_di_franco 16th-Sep-2011 07:46 pm (UTC)
gigglyvapidslut 16th-Sep-2011 07:47 pm (UTC)
best new meme
cherryreefer 16th-Sep-2011 07:57 pm (UTC)
LOLOLOL OMG PERFECT
luvthatdrtywata 16th-Sep-2011 08:08 pm (UTC)
dead and buried and brought back to life by satangaga.
gaga_goo_goo 16th-Sep-2011 08:16 pm (UTC)
WIN.
jinnycalderone 16th-Sep-2011 10:11 pm (UTC)
soo sad i missed this beautiful post!!! :(

i am laughing hysterically, lmfao!!!

your god is not here, michael!! just wowwwwww!!!!

Edited at 2012-06-27 12:58 am (UTC)
invisible_cunt 16th-Sep-2011 10:21 pm (UTC)
i thought this was legit at first

then i continued reading
beokitty 16th-Sep-2011 10:40 pm (UTC)
wut? you mean this doesn't constitute ""trolling"?"
goku 16th-Sep-2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
WTF LMAO


doesn't matter. we're all still in love with judas tbh
nathanandbarry 16th-Sep-2011 07:32 pm (UTC)
LOL
goku 16th-Sep-2011 07:35 pm (UTC)
isnowbunny 16th-Sep-2011 07:46 pm (UTC)
LOL
roxi9 16th-Sep-2011 07:49 pm (UTC)
lol
beatlesluv 16th-Sep-2011 08:23 pm (UTC)
lol
reoccuringkind 16th-Sep-2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
godga?
rihanna 16th-Sep-2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
wow i hope this kills her career
markovnikov 16th-Sep-2011 07:19 pm (UTC)
iawtc!!!
roxi9 16th-Sep-2011 07:24 pm (UTC)
me too, satanists must be destroyed.
mangoexpress 16th-Sep-2011 07:29 pm (UTC)
that's very christ-like of you lol
morrbido 16th-Sep-2011 08:34 pm (UTC)
oh :(
tlcspice 16th-Sep-2011 09:21 pm (UTC)
ia katy
beokitty 16th-Sep-2011 10:42 pm (UTC)
if he were a satanist he'd be all about it, tbh.
vag_breath 16th-Sep-2011 11:42 pm (UTC)
mte
rainbowchelita 16th-Sep-2011 08:36 pm (UTC)
yes please, i'm so tired of her :S
ambeaux 16th-Sep-2011 10:53 pm (UTC)
My Son and I do not approve.
wicky_wicky 16th-Sep-2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
ummm what
enema_recipe 16th-Sep-2011 10:54 pm (UTC)
OMG YES
kittywattywoo 16th-Sep-2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
What.
hearts_frozen 16th-Sep-2011 07:53 pm (UTC)
I see you, Robbu Smee.
kittywattywoo 16th-Sep-2011 07:57 pm (UTC)
Sup.
trixx_r4_kidz 16th-Sep-2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
lol WUT
daianara 16th-Sep-2011 07:21 pm (UTC)
mte
dedradawn 16th-Sep-2011 07:32 pm (UTC)
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
boomstick 16th-Sep-2011 07:51 pm (UTC)
What am I looking at here
spacewalkers 16th-Sep-2011 11:29 pm (UTC)
my best friend got this tattooed on his head and when he first showed me i thought it was a badly drawn cock and balls
roxi9 16th-Sep-2011 07:50 pm (UTC)
same
rampant_geekery 16th-Sep-2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
wat
victory_goddess 16th-Sep-2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
Dis gon be gud.
clairebear_x 16th-Sep-2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
What is this

I feel like I'm tripping rn
i_heart_pizza 16th-Sep-2011 08:22 pm (UTC)
I had a little wine for dinner and thought I was drunk already
ch33rylips 16th-Sep-2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
Wtf did I just read
trinimacphisto 16th-Sep-2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
rotflmao
ljubavirakija 16th-Sep-2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

All you can do is laugh at this shit
peyton07 16th-Sep-2011 07:16 pm (UTC)
SO CUTE
kaelstra 16th-Sep-2011 07:19 pm (UTC)
Ugh, he is so fine.
dosko 16th-Sep-2011 07:22 pm (UTC)
I agree with Coop.
aviolentwhisper 16th-Sep-2011 07:22 pm (UTC)
I was just thinking how this needed Joel McHale to play that clip :)
bblosecontrol 16th-Sep-2011 07:22 pm (UTC)
nktl ujgdhjghkl'l;';l
sinfulemerald 16th-Sep-2011 07:25 pm (UTC)
thissss
reallyupthere 16th-Sep-2011 07:27 pm (UTC)
omg he's so cuteeee
americnxidiot 16th-Sep-2011 07:33 pm (UTC)
omg cutest!
hemsworth 16th-Sep-2011 07:35 pm (UTC)
he has the cutest giggle ever.
jearsforqueers 16th-Sep-2011 07:36 pm (UTC)
LMFAO
luvthatdrtywata 16th-Sep-2011 08:17 pm (UTC)
all i can do is envision farrah from teen mom saying "your god is not here michael" to her father and it is making me giggle andy coops style.

title or description
"YOU GOD IS NOT HERE, MICHAEL!!!"

title or description
"What's that Farrah? You need me to babysit Sophia? No problem, anything for my little girl. You know your mom and I love you, right?"
ghostley 16th-Sep-2011 08:28 pm (UTC)
i love her dad so much
isthisdesire 16th-Sep-2011 08:54 pm (UTC)
I can hear it in her freaking condescending bitch voice with the added dragging out of his name
phnix_daft_mode 16th-Sep-2011 09:28 pm (UTC)
Speaking of Farrah and being On Topic, I always thought that GaGa at Lollapalooza 2007 looked oddly like Farrah. Idk.
mylittlerants 17th-Sep-2011 12:31 am (UTC)
Why does she call him Michael? RUDE.
vag_breath 17th-Sep-2011 01:20 am (UTC)
dead
jello404 16th-Sep-2011 08:34 pm (UTC)
i want to have his babies
bluekrinkle 17th-Sep-2011 09:14 am (UTC)
Ooo, my little gumdrop <3
wantyourhex 16th-Sep-2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
What the ever loving fuck.

sarahkate24 16th-Sep-2011 08:26 pm (UTC)
omg. jared <3

wantyourhex 17th-Sep-2011 02:06 am (UTC)
AHH lookit him so bouncy!
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