10:49 pm - 09/12/2011

Moby admits he has a small penis, wants to make a porn movie

Moby wants to make a porn movie starring men with small penises.

The 'Porcelain' singer can't understand why X-rated films feature men with larger-than-average manhoods and wants to create a flick which won't make viewers feel inadequate.

Moby - who admits he has watched many adult movies in his lifetime - told Bizarre magazine: "I've never understood why porn made for men often stars studly guys with enormous you know?

"Surely that's intimidating to most guys watching? My porn flick would exclusively feature men with normal-to-titchy-sized penises in order to make viewers feel better."

Although he is unhappy with the status quo of adult movies, Moby is happy being a "little, bald" white guy.

The 45-year-old dance musician started losing his hair 20 years ago and although he was unsure of his hairless look at first he has grown to like it.

He previously said: "I would describe myself as little, bald and white. Small, bald white guys are kind of interchangeable . I used to lament the fact that I didn't look like a cross between Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. Then a few years ago I discovered a combination of acceptance and equanimity when I looked in the mirror. There is nothing terribly wrong with my face, even if some of its parts aren't very inspiring."

Discuss and post small dick stories, everybody.

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bloody_hell 12th-Sep-2011 09:03 pm (UTC)

dnw ever
ljubavirakija 12th-Sep-2011 09:04 pm (UTC)
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Try harder
slave_to_franz 12th-Sep-2011 09:08 pm (UTC)
Please tell me that pun was not intended...
victimnextdoor 12th-Sep-2011 10:39 pm (UTC)
I think it was. I loled
erin_chupacabra 12th-Sep-2011 09:05 pm (UTC)
Way to kill my fantasies about you and your throbbing, monster cock, Moby. Ugh, day ruined.
stupidsxyflndrs 12th-Sep-2011 09:07 pm (UTC)
roxi9 12th-Sep-2011 09:08 pm (UTC)
erin_chupacabra 12th-Sep-2011 09:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you, bb! Have a cute gif
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blenderhead 12th-Sep-2011 09:12 pm (UTC)
ben_superdetka 12th-Sep-2011 09:24 pm (UTC)
tx5mym5 12th-Sep-2011 11:34 pm (UTC)
jackiemust_die 12th-Sep-2011 09:06 pm (UTC)
sundayhappyface 13th-Sep-2011 04:04 am (UTC)
I lol'ed!
greatbriton 12th-Sep-2011 09:07 pm (UTC)
"I've never understood why porn made for men often stars studly guys with enormous you know?

because porn is supposed to excite people not disgust them.

Though I know most straight men won't really want to admit they'd probably rather have a huge thick dick that they can pretend is theirs instead of being reminded of the horrible reality that they're tiny like moby.

Edited at 2011-09-12 09:07 pm (UTC)
greatbriton 12th-Sep-2011 09:14 pm (UTC)
are you a man? If you are then disregard this comment but he was talking about the men watching and porn is usually made for the man to kind of self insert. So they could imagine the woman is doing things to them. So a big dick is probably preferable to a lot of them.

but I'm a not a dude, so I dunno
alienclit 12th-Sep-2011 09:12 pm (UTC)
They probably have small-dicked porn for people who are into that sort of thing but a great majority of people aren't. And also a lot of men get off to seeing women in porn having massive orgasms which would be lulzy to see if the guy fucking her had a 2 inch pencil dick.
vldtheimpaler 13th-Sep-2011 12:05 am (UTC)
What's Hiddlegate?
dives 13th-Sep-2011 12:44 am (UTC)
what's hiddlegate 2011?
killetheth 13th-Sep-2011 05:20 pm (UTC)
porn is fantasy, not irl. that's why the penises are huuuuge unless it's some kind of specific small penis niche film.
superdogbiter 12th-Sep-2011 09:08 pm (UTC)
i guess this moby...........................
doesn't have a dick
starsinshapes 12th-Sep-2011 09:09 pm (UTC)
Oh, Horatio, you pun-making fool.
roxi9 12th-Sep-2011 09:09 pm (UTC)
slave_to_franz 12th-Sep-2011 09:09 pm (UTC)
vanishingbee 12th-Sep-2011 09:15 pm (UTC)
I lol'ed
mercystars 12th-Sep-2011 09:17 pm (UTC)
s0_amazing_here 12th-Sep-2011 09:18 pm (UTC)
You win the internet!
milkchocolat 12th-Sep-2011 09:24 pm (UTC)
a_grumble_cakee 12th-Sep-2011 09:25 pm (UTC)
lol it's like the world was setting you up for that

baglady25 12th-Sep-2011 09:57 pm (UTC)
gaga 12th-Sep-2011 10:17 pm (UTC)
omg dead
sessile29 12th-Sep-2011 10:31 pm (UTC)
well, you've won the internets for today XD
m_h_p 12th-Sep-2011 11:08 pm (UTC)
Yeah, the rest of us can pretty much go home now. :D
dorkii_rawk 12th-Sep-2011 11:24 pm (UTC)
seriously the best comment in ontd history.
alienclit 12th-Sep-2011 09:10 pm (UTC)
"Surely that's intimidating to most guys watching? My porn flick would exclusively feature men with normal-to-titchy-sized penises in order to make viewers feel better."

lmfao no. It's porn.

And csb, I knew a guy with a 4 incher who was so far in denial he wore magnums. Awkward as fuq.
stupidsxyflndrs 12th-Sep-2011 09:11 pm (UTC)
what? did he tie them off or something to make them fit?
alienclit 12th-Sep-2011 09:13 pm (UTC)
no D:
ellie_andrews 12th-Sep-2011 09:15 pm (UTC)
lol awww

bless his tiny heart
greatbriton 12th-Sep-2011 09:15 pm (UTC)
it wouldn't make me feel any better, that's for sure. because a tiny tiny penis you know that woman definitely isn't enjoying it.
boss_sister 12th-Sep-2011 09:22 pm (UTC)
Eek that's horrible!
cityxpretty 12th-Sep-2011 10:36 pm (UTC)
Did he get anyone pregnant because the condom didn't stay on?
starsinshapes 12th-Sep-2011 09:11 pm (UTC)
There are too many studly/buff dudes with small penises on Tumblr, Moby. He'd get the best of both worlds imo- hot dudes with small penises?

ellie_andrews 12th-Sep-2011 09:14 pm (UTC)
It's so hard to find good porn. Even the "romantic" or "female friendly" categories still have too much of that fake OOH YEAH moaning shit. :|
alienclit 12th-Sep-2011 09:17 pm (UTC)
When I was into porn, I'd watch it on mute for that reason. I couldn't deal with all the gross forced sex noises.
vonlisbon 13th-Sep-2011 12:31 am (UTC)
I'm so with the person who watches it on mute.

Sapphic Erotica has some good stuff. I'm hetero female but the straight porn was just all fake tits and fake nails and dribbling semen all over their faces. Ummm no thx.
coxpoppy 13th-Sep-2011 07:39 am (UTC)
I like to watch the Latin categories because the guys in there are at least good-looking.
roxi9 12th-Sep-2011 09:24 pm (UTC)
I think it's funny what he says, cause I bet in his porn girls would still have big, fake boobs.
ellie_andrews 12th-Sep-2011 09:13 pm (UTC)
Studly? I don't know what porn you're watching, sir, but the ones I've seen very rarely have hot guys in them.
greatbriton 12th-Sep-2011 09:16 pm (UTC)
gay porn gets all the hot guys, tbh
m0ndaymorning 12th-Sep-2011 09:36 pm (UTC)
False. There are way more ugly gays in porn than attractive.
strawberry_flds 12th-Sep-2011 11:58 pm (UTC)
Soooo true...straight porn always ALWAAAAAYS has some skeevy guy who's never shown in the shot, except for his huge gut! Or if they do show the guy, he looks past his 40s and someone's landlord. UGH.
scarletfruit 12th-Sep-2011 09:20 pm (UTC)
Ikr? There's some guys who look like straight-up gremlins sometimes.
roxi9 12th-Sep-2011 09:25 pm (UTC)
Exactly, the majority is fug as hell.
sdpt 12th-Sep-2011 09:14 pm (UTC)
i have this odd friend and he jsut im'ed me this:

go find me filthy ass porn
n good big dicked tranny stuff
ill be expecting filth when i return
alienclit 12th-Sep-2011 09:15 pm (UTC)
give him this link
marinade 12th-Sep-2011 10:24 pm (UTC)
lol I was scared until I hovered.
sessile29 12th-Sep-2011 10:34 pm (UTC)
ofc this begets questions:

why can't he find his own filthy ass porn?
why are YOU the one he goes to for filthy ass porn?
where is he going that he expects filthy ass porn upon his return?

and so on
andisprohi 12th-Sep-2011 09:16 pm (UTC)
flowerssleeping 12th-Sep-2011 09:17 pm (UTC)
no ty i don't want to see moby naked. omg.

i would still look it up online if it existed...i'm ashamed of myself.
jainypoo 12th-Sep-2011 09:30 pm (UTC)
I'm the same way. It's this morbid curiousity that I always regret, but I can't NOT click.
nawezireck 12th-Sep-2011 11:38 pm (UTC)
jesmy 13th-Sep-2011 05:13 pm (UTC)
erin_chupacabra 12th-Sep-2011 09:17 pm (UTC)
I don't always watch porn, but when I do, I prefer lesbian porn.
amazingrando 12th-Sep-2011 09:29 pm (UTC)
I read this in the Dos Equis' guy's voice.
jainypoo 12th-Sep-2011 09:30 pm (UTC)
me, too.
sessile29 12th-Sep-2011 10:37 pm (UTC)
can't hear anything but now lol
strawberry_flds 12th-Sep-2011 11:59 pm (UTC)
me too lmao!!!
thewhowhatwhats 13th-Sep-2011 01:06 am (UTC)
for_serious13 12th-Sep-2011 11:45 pm (UTC)
me too tbh
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