Ocean 1, Paris Hilton 0
As she does every summer, Paris Hilton is currently renting a beachfront home in Malibu. Last weekend, she set up a cabana on the beach with daybeds for her and friends to relax on. And then she promptly forgot about it and the daybeds almost washed into the ocean yesterday during high tide. Dumbass.
In related news, the entire ocean now has herpes and has to be set on fire. Wednesday I believe. Don't be alarmed if you see smoke.