1:54 am - 02/21/2010

Sexual napalm back with unfunny douche

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John Mayer’s “sexual napalm”—otherwise known as Jessica Simpson—hit the town in Los Angeles last night, and the seedy singer was the last thing on the blonde’s mind.

It seems Jess was more than happy to focus all her attention on her supposed former flame…Dane Cook!

Simpson watched her rumored ex-lover perform at the Laugh Factory Tuesday, and she was all smiles.

“She came in to see [Dane] with two girls and two guys,” says an eyewitness. “They snuck her into the back door right before the show began, and she sat at a table on the floor level.”

Our spy says Simpson, dressed in a Rolling Stones T-shirt with jeans and heels, looked very natural and relaxed as she laughed, dined on cheese pizza and drank Stella Artois beer.

Was the admiration mutual between Jess and Dane? It seems like Simpson has been the media’s mini Jennifer Aniston lately, always being portrayed as the lonesome older sis after splitting with Tony Romo.

Well, we hear Dane was happy to have old flame Jess there and even sent over a round of drinks to her table. He then invited her backstage after the show, natch.

“After the first round of drinks, the waitress went over and said, ‘This round is on Dane,’” dishes our source. “Jessica seemed so excited. Once the show ended, Simpson was taken upstairs to the VIP area where she and Dane flirted and had another round of beers.

“The staff left, but Jessica, Dane and her four friends stayed in the VIP section after hours.”

But not everyone had a great evening.

“Jessica didn’t tip the waitress at all!” adds our sassy insider. “Dane paid for the first round of drinks and then the Laugh Factory comped the rest of the check…But she’s still supposed to leave a tip, and she didn’t leave anything.”

Maybe she was so focused on Dane she simply forgot, right?

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offinlahlahland 21st-Feb-2010 07:21 am (UTC)
douche magnet.
rafz20 21st-Feb-2010 07:37 am (UTC)
Low self-esteem will do that.
spiritxx 21st-Feb-2010 07:22 am (UTC)
he's so unfunny
babysinclair 21st-Feb-2010 07:22 am (UTC)
galaxymilkyway 21st-Feb-2010 10:14 am (UTC)
the fuck? are you sure? seriously..is he? dayum?
heyitsmelanie 21st-Feb-2010 07:23 am (UTC)
When I was in high school everyone was obsessed with fucking dane cook.
I don't find him funny at all. :/
ikilledkenny 21st-Feb-2010 07:23 am (UTC)
heyitsmelanie 21st-Feb-2010 07:27 am (UTC)
There was always this one joke that everyone used to quote about a car or something and I just there like :|

Like i'm sorry, but my grandmother is funnier than him. True facts.
lucky_latkes 21st-Feb-2010 07:25 am (UTC)
1. fuck yes, kh icon <3

2. i found him funny in high school because it was sort of like jokes people our age would make. then i got older and his jokes never progressed.
wherezmyprozac 21st-Feb-2010 07:36 am (UTC)
lmao i still find him funny idgaf
oneloveunited 21st-Feb-2010 09:57 am (UTC)
Same UGH. He was funny to me for about a week, then just fucking annoying. We do have to credit him for BAMF I guess...
therealycats 21st-Feb-2010 03:23 pm (UTC)
That's because you're smart.
hola_meg_a_cola 21st-Feb-2010 04:59 pm (UTC)
D'aww, KH ♥

I never found him funny. I remember some friends played his CD in the car and they would be cracking up and I'd be like "... Idgi...."
procedurals 21st-Feb-2010 07:23 am (UTC)
LOL I remember my brother-in-law blogging about how funny and original Dane Cook was years ago...
stormer1_1 21st-Feb-2010 07:24 am (UTC)
No, she's so dumb she probably has no idea what a tip is unless it's on the end of a peen.

lucky_latkes 21st-Feb-2010 07:26 am (UTC)
rinygrin 21st-Feb-2010 11:00 am (UTC)
lol, aw!
poison20 21st-Feb-2010 12:26 pm (UTC)
flouting 21st-Feb-2010 07:24 am (UTC)
he looks a little gosselin-y in that photo...
hoodoo 21st-Feb-2010 07:25 am (UTC)
stella artois beer sounds so good rn ooooh god.
i would notice this dumbass detail....

also dane cook was so much better in his early years and before he pretended he was an actor

Edited at 2010-02-21 07:25 am (UTC)
gunslinger33 21st-Feb-2010 04:03 pm (UTC)
My hope is that cheese pizza and stella together will NEVER be referred to as a "Jessica Simpson"...but it always will be in my head from now on. Eww.
williammiller 21st-Feb-2010 07:26 am (UTC)
I hate him, but that "car crash" joke of his always makes me laugh.

catinwig 21st-Feb-2010 07:41 am (UTC)
I like the lyrics for the car alarm, and that's it.
oneloveunited 21st-Feb-2010 09:58 am (UTC)
muic 21st-Feb-2010 08:01 am (UTC)
The stick animation makes it a lot funnier than it is.
daisypaisy 21st-Feb-2010 09:26 am (UTC)
My mother loves this joke and she hates Dane. She says this is EXACTLY how people act when she gets called to an accident. She's a cop.
astormatsea 21st-Feb-2010 07:27 am (UTC)
perfect for eachother
telurica 21st-Feb-2010 07:27 am (UTC)
lol,she always dates the worst guys.
cecilia_weasley 21st-Feb-2010 07:30 am (UTC)
mte he seems like a douche bag
ch33rylips 21st-Feb-2010 07:31 am (UTC)
Seems like?
heyitsmelanie 21st-Feb-2010 07:35 am (UTC)
You've just nailed it on the fucking head.
and I assume you're talking about Jeff Dunham? I found him funny for 2.5 seconds but he's another example of not evolving.
tiddlywinks103 21st-Feb-2010 07:37 am (UTC)
LMAO, so fucking true.
deja_vu822 21st-Feb-2010 07:28 am (UTC)
Man, back when I was in like 9th and 10th grade, I loved him. And I was so upset at the rumors that he was dating her. But now I completely understand why they work.
mechuparmucho 21st-Feb-2010 07:29 am (UTC)
love him.
saint4u 21st-Feb-2010 07:29 am (UTC)
I love a guy with a beefy ass as much as the next person but NOT if he is a complete and utter douche !
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