Last night on the premiere of MTV’s The Real World D.C., eccentric housemate Andrew Woods admitted that he had been fired from his college newspaper for drawing cartoons that were “purposely trying to offend women and lesbians.” Lying is kind of Andrew’s “thing,” so it’s unclear whether Woods’ editors actually gave him the boot. But Woods’ cartoons about alcohol-assisted sexual assault, pedophilia, and nonconsenual anal sex? Those are real real.
Woods was plucked for reality television stardom as an undergraduate at Colorado State University-Denver. There, he served as cartoonist for student newspaper The Rocky Mountain Collegian from as early as December of 2008 to at least March of 2009 (according to the paper’s online archives). Over the course of his career there, Woods drew a comic strip called “Repeat/Delete,” which often featured a cartoon version of himself getting involved in various sexual misadventures—like, you know, sexually assaulting women. Let’s take a look at Woods’ oeuvre:
-That's the man who touched me, officer
-In my defense, she was way to drunk to really remember last night.
-Yeah, just keep incriminating yourself
Hmm. Yes. In this strip, we see Woods’ cartoon persona admitting to sexually assaulting an intoxicated woman. It’s funny, because Woods is implicating himself as a lecherous buffoon, but it’s not funny, because this actually happens to women.
-Hey, it was super cool meeting you and everything, but I'm supposed to meet this one chick soon, so you cock blockers gotta go!
Ah. I see. In this work, Woods’ persona takes the form of a pedophile. It’s funny because it’s . . . hopefully untrue.
-wrong hole you, idiot!
-see this is why I didn't ask, cause I knew you'd freak out!
His masterpiece. Who could forget the edgy brilliance of “wrong hole”?
-Seducing women doesn't have to be some expensive ordeal, just funnel some cheap vodka into a bottle of sparkling cider...as long as it looks like champagne She'll drink it!
Here, Woods assumes his Christopher Walkenesque “skeezy dude” accessories in order to advise students how to seduce women. In this edition of “Andrew’s Can Do’s,” Woods suggest that students “funnel some cheap vodka into half a bottle of sparkling cider . . . as long as it looks like Champagne, she’ll drink it!” Woods assumed this character’s signature robe and wineglass in his Real World audition tape (hoto above).
-Manitudie (?)! Dude, I need you to occupy her friend, so I can get some alone time with her
-Nice! Dude, I owe you one!
In this strip, Andrew thinks that a girl with a pudgy tummy is hot, prompting his friend to declare him “sick.” It’s funny because girls with fat tummies are gross. This, coming from someone who was instantly declared a virgin when he entered the Real World house last summer.
But what did his contemporaries think?
In his time at the paper, Woods was criticized for his sophomoric humor, grammatical errors, and depictions of sexual assault. One female student wrote that Woods’ column “has depicted women as helpless, stupid and incapable of successful relationships”; another student responded that the women criticizing Woods should stop talking.
Thanks to his stint on the Real World, Woods is prepared to silence all the haters. In the premier episode, Woods tells new housemate (and insta-crush) Emily that he’s a cartoonist, and that he’s intent on getting some of his work published in the District—”maybe in the Washington Post.“ Close. Woods ended up interning for the Washington Times, where Woods’ signature illustrated rape jokes apparently didn’t make the cut. For Woods’ work with the paper, he stuck to less controversial territory: an editorial cartoon featuring Americans being boiled alive in a bubbling cauldron of national debt.